Scare Tactics

Being a teenager is all about embracing your fears. Everybody has things that they're afraid of. For me, most insects and certain weird looking fish. Don't tell me that fish faces, gawking and blowing piss water around isn't awe inducing. Don't forget the death traps known as elevators, dimly lit spaces, and gorillas, or ape suits. I've got some irrational fears, but I'm a teenager and it's what I do. College and your adolescence are times to get over what you're afraid of and do something about it. It's time you face what's been haunting you, and ghost bust the hell out of your life. These are just some scare tactics.


Friday morning I wake being super gross and burping up a whole lot of Chinese food. Eating Chinese food at 2 am and going to bed right afterwards is not the best idea I've ever had, but I've for sure had way worse. I clear up my little oral malady and it's time for biology lecture. Everyone was a mess in that class. Dropping textbooks, empty seats, and dude's cell-phone went off again. The best part, he silenced it, and took it outside to answer it. That takes major balls. Drew-Ski, the biochemistry bike-riding boy wonder, walks in late, and takes his rightful seat in the front row. I would have been scared and scurried to the back of the class. I'm just saying, you do you. HCOL we talk about understanding the brain and some soul-searching deep stuff about the idea of free will. Oh, I believe in free will alright, I am most deff responsible for everything I do, however I do believe in destiny, but your destiny can change depending on your choices. Mind bend that, kiddies. We discuss our impending midterm and when I raise my hand to add to the discussion, tell me why my professor looks directly at me, and dismisses my very existence. Woah there diva, I'm wearing plaid and I know you saw me. Let's just say there won't be a next time for me to inject my genuine brand of preptastic genius to the class. I head back to my room to blog, and Shan-Dawg convinces me to get myself some lunch. I get some New World Tortilla, and it's these ghetto ass sorry excuse for a luke-warm taco. Highly disappointing, and when I open my Barq's Root Beer, tell me why it sprays everywhere. Like a freaking river of surgary sweet root just bursting everywhere like a sperm whale, FML. Everybody else's parents and fam-bams are coming to visit them for Homecoming weekend and everybody else is done with class. It takes major effort for me to make it to chemistry lecture. Disappointing with a no Mystery Model sighting, but class was most deff interesting. With Westside Krystina to my right, and Cracka-Jack to my left, we're all taking notes and I'm trying to update my twitter feed, like getting the latest deets on Rick Ross (the famous grunt) having a seizure on a flight, when my cell-phone, Asher, starts speaking. I'm like Asher, shut your mouth playboy. It was super embarrassing. I might have sweated my t-shirt out with fear of humiliation. Soon our professor was asking for volunteers and all of us honors college kids shout for Ali-Cat to suck in the SF6 gas and it deepens the heck out of her voice. Professor Leenstra does it too and he sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger on the verge of terminating us all. Class lets out and I head to the Davis Center to grab a small cup of mango-mango sorbet with what else other than gummy bears on top. By this time it's pouring like Lindsay Lohan with a shot glass, and I walk through crowds of parents, getting weird looks with rain getting all over my sorbet. I was thinking, "look here oldies, I'm the epitome of youthful, so keep your youthless judgmentalism to yourselves." I come back to the room where Krabs and I have a tough time getting anything done. Somehow I end up IMDB-ing, wiki-ing, and hardcore TV-Guide reading up on random actors/actresses, because it's my job in life to know everything. I watch some music videos like the Victoria Justice "All I Want is Everything" and the disbanded girl group, the Stunners, "Spin the Bottle" and generally do nothing for a few hours. I finally get to doing some homework, after eating more chinese food and watching YouTube videos with Westside Krystina, and Superman-Craig. Soon, JaMocha Shake comes by, soaking wet, and wants to talk. Ooph, we have a little conversation concerning the prank that Jandro pulled by texting me from her phone asking to go on a date. Super mondo awks, and who now even knows our status as friends, or even acquaintances. Jandro's parental units brought him an obtrusive sound system and with it he's enslaving all of us to ridiculous dance music. So that's what we do, have wild as eff dance party in his room before sweating all our clothes out. It's off to the Marché for Twizzlers and Cherry Limeade Sunkist with Sammy, and Jandro, where Jandro's friend, Ni-Had joins us to discuss his latest venture in coloring book pages. Absolutely hilarious, and we dip out to go visit Double-T and Nasty-Nate who have no luck in watching a movie. Double-T introduces us to his IPhone 4G-S AI, Siri, who knows the everything, which is kind of creepy. With literally nothing to do, Sammy, Nasty-Nate and I watch a grotesque episode of Spike TV's Blue Mountain State, which is my manly guilty pleasure. I play video games alone until Jandro passes oiut on my bed. I'm about to hit the hay when Jimbo and his FBO GF, Teddy, come to hang out on Pat-Pat's bed. Jimbroni fails to give me relevant dating advice and 2 am rolls around, and I'm worried about my boy-boy brother, Krabs. I whip out the most ridic text message known to brotherhood and text Krabs, before going night night. Player pimp gets back to the room at 4am. My gosh, you scared me. Such wild scare tactics.




After another long night of stupidity, I wake up and roll over to see Krabs making his usual morning face. He says "Well hey there" and it's up and at them from there. He leaves to go get b-fast and hit the gym to get yolked up with Jakey Bear while I stay behind for ultimate show-show time. Including an indulgent blazing hot shower, shaving the face, and some deep facial cleansing. I'm 18, I like to look it too. Soon it's breakfast time with Jandro, where we people watch as always. It might be kind of creepy of as eff, but it's whatevs. Back to the room where Krabs comes back his usual sweaty self. That boy and his skateboard might be inseparable. I've got the whole day ahead of me, so I catch up on the latest episode of 90210. Can you say strip voter registration, stolen car ring, drug abuse, and escort services? It's homework time afterwards where I go ham on my biology homework. At 5pm, Double-T, doing the bidding of his super smart phone personality, Siri, comes to inform me that we're about to game. So I take a break and play some Halo Reach: Firefight, where we finally beat a set of those nasty aliens. Life goals achieved people. Krabs heads off to prepare for his concert, and I  play a few awful rounds of that scary ass zombies mini-game in Call of Duty: Black Ops. I don't like being chased in real life or in the digital word. I go out to dinner with my cousin. We go to this restaurant called T-Bones where I cook my own raw steak at my seat with a volcanic hot lava rock. What an experience that was. Jakey Bear meets up with me and we embrace the dipping temperatures to try and catch the acapella concert. He's got connections so he gets in way easy, but I end up getting a seat with Ali-Cat, MAbby and her parents. Krabby Patty's group, Zest, sings first and with their unique sense of humor they blew us all away. Now that's talent people, watch and learn. The next group, Hit Paws, continued the musical domination with Joelly Bear gracing us with his great voice. They had the attitude and finesse to carry it all out. Then comes the all girl group, Cat's Meow, which may or may have not been beautiful girls singing some odd song choices. Like simmer down divas, not everyone can handle the ferocity of some songs. Finally the "main event" known as the all guys group, Top Cats, takes the stage and while they do have their pitches perfect, they were a little too wild on and off stage. When people are yelling out cheers from the crowd and you can't hear microphone wielding heros, that's a problem. We walk back with the wind whipping out our faces and there's another dance party in Jandro's room. Embarrassingly ridiculous movements only please with Westside Sarah, and Lila, plus Teddy and Jimbo. Sammy brings around Ring Pops to share, while Jandro games up it up with his bros. We're getting ready to hit this after party and Jandro wants to be fashionably late, so we leave after 45 minutes of unnecessary wait time. We get to the party in Old Mill, and it's just black people. That super awkward moment when the minorities are reversed, oh it happened. Sam and I dip out of there ASAP, and instead of taking the elevator again to be stared down by the guys in the front we decide to find an alternate route out of there. We go down this hallway and it's quite possibly one of the scariest things ever. Empty classrooms, pitch black darkness, and no noises what so ever. Shadows cast everywhere and we make a break for the staircase at the end of the hallway. I come out panting and freaking out, it was like a murder mystery movie up in there. We get to the underground tunnel in the Davis Center, and I see this kid I know from chemistry class. I'm about to say "hey" when out of the shade behind him, his identical twin walks out. I'm like, WTE is going on right now. Just totally mind blown. That freaked me out even more, like attack of the twinsies. It's off to the Marché with Jimbo for late night snackage before heading back to the dorms. Sam and I set off to look for Shan-Dawg, but when we're about to knock on her door it just starts shaking. Like are you seriously kidding me right now? I'm not trying to get axed, it is October people. We find her upstairs and after saying goodnight to her visit boyfriend, Cody-kins, we hang out in the spiral staircase lounge reconnecting our unbelieveable lives. It's bed time but not before letting at least 14 people in through the seemingly broken door from the green roof. Such a mess, and such scare tactics.



Sunday morning I get up and get on dressed to meet up with Shandee and Codykins for a little bit of church time. We make it to the movie theatre and we get seated for another great service. Hearing about forgiveness is one of those things that we all most deff have a problem with, including this kids. With a little play put on by the kids to illustrate the parable, it was soon time to leave. We get dropped off at  this restaurant, Magnolias, downtown and embrace the 45 minute wait for a table. We use it as bonding time and I discover Code-bro and Shan-tini fist bump like nobody's business. It must be their thing. After eating a spoon full of organic cane sugar and trying some freshly made jam we order our food and I get this pumpkin bread french toast with a sunnyside up egg and some sausages on the side. That found was up and banging like a landlord about to kick you out when the rent's past due. We finish and it takes all three of us to figure out how to divey up the payments, oh we're in college alright. We make the journey up the hill back to campus enjoying the scenic setting. I change into some plaid and start my homework. Soon, I pass out and so does Krabs, in the fetal position on the ground. I wake up all disoriented but it's legit homework time. Chemistry lab report knocked out, and Northside Brooke and Meredith come to visit our side of dormville. After a little dance performance in Jandro's time it's just about family dinner time. I go to wrangle up Jandro, who play's lax with Amy. Petey Pablo pops up behind me and scares me shatless, and Jack-in-the-box joins us as Eastside gang heads to Redstone campus for dinner. Jandro, MAbby, Natty Dan, Nemesis Norio (missed that kid), Hannity-Insanity, No-Crap Carolyn, Sammy, Cracka-Jack, Shan-Dawg, Cody-kins and I all dine until our hearts content. Always well worth it, especially when City Boy Alejandro forgets he loosened the cap on the salt and it spills all in his drink. From there, it's time for my weekly UVMtv meeting which gets funnier each week. My show produced and main host, Jon Lott, just gets sassier and we can all barely take him seriously with his sunglasses on, inside, at night. We prepare the segments for this week's show (catch it Wednesday, 6pm, channel 12, or at http://uvmtv.net streaming live). Jandro and I head to the Marché for some Swedish Fish and Twizzlers before travelling through the Northside. More homework gets done, and all of a sudden it's midnight when MAbby, Jandro, Code-bro and I are standing in the hallway looking ridiculous with multiple hats. We see that JaMocha Shake is chillin' in the lounge, so after a pep talk from my wingman, Codykins, and a Rocky Balboa montage, I muster up the courage to speak to theeee girl herself. It goes over really well, and we're back to our old selves. Night made right there, and Krabs comes back for night night. Scare tactics averted.



Being a teenager is about getting over your crazy dumb fears. It's about figuring out what scares the hell out of you and facing it head on. Teenagehood is about displaying your brash courage and taking over your own life. Nobody should be ruled by fear, but everyone should some fears. Fears keep us wary and protected to some extent but when they start interfering with your life, they need to get on up and go. Try some new things, figure out what gives you the heebie-jeebies,  and get rid of those scare tactics.

My blog post question for the day is ... what scares you most about college? I would say running out money. While I can always ask the mother/father for more mula, it's still kind of scary to have to manage money for myself. WTE is a budget?

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