Presidential Pardon

Being a teenager is all about those things that you'd just like to forget. We've all got those super embarrassing stories, like the secret service Colombian prostitution debacle, that we would like to forgot. Public humiliation is on a lot of people's official lists of fears. That's a valid thing. People can be harsh, and those moments somehow always become infamous in their playback. Here's your chance to redeem yourself, find out what's the haps, personally, and then act on it. Here's your presidential pardon.


There are so many things that can happen in one day and that's what makes college the most random place ever. It's a place full of strangers, wildness and whole lot of crazy, that's for sure. If you don't know I may not be that adventurous on my own, but I'm down for a little journey to the center of (the earth) campus every once in a while. Thursday is my adventure day, and I celebrate by catching the bus (the bus, that thing is like super awkward, especially when I have to stand, you know I'm on the verge of falling the entire time from my fake stripped pole, pardon the interruption) and getting some sustenance from the random food trucks. It's Pam's Deli for a hot sauce English muffin sandwich and iced tea. We walk outside the Davis Center and pop a squat on the marble blocks and people watch. Tell me why the students on this campus are a huge mess for real. Girls fixing their wedgies, guys checking out booties, and skateboard accidents galore fly on by. 10 o'clock strikes and it's time for me to start selling waffles with my Phi Mu Delta fraternity brothers to raise money for our American Cancer Society "Relay for Life" team. It starts with Gabriel, Bela and I mixing the batter, sizzling some waffles, and getting the thing going for the day. I'm on water and supply duty so I retrieve cups of water and paper towels like a good little boy. I stop and talk to my good buddy Nicholas before going back to man the table. It's slow going for a while but I'm ready to step the whole thing up and prepare some cheers to get people to stop and stare. Oh, when it comes to public embarrassment I've lost my shame and no longer give a care. We've got to sell, sell, sell so Philly, Baldwin, JC and I in unison shout for our loves some synchronized cheers. Just two hours spent getting giggling smiles and random looks like it's NBD. I stopped at the convenience store for chapstick and Razzles candy gum before heading back to the Heights to fill out my first ever job application. With help from JC, I finish and send off my application to Camp Takajo in Naples, Maine to be a camp counselor. Here's hoping I get the job. Emily comes by and needs help moving boxes from her room to the Davis Center so Jandro, Cullen, Sam and I help her in a carry her items in a classic movie sequence fashion. We were totally those freshman kids. It's whatever, I'm blazing up so I change into shorts after downing a mango Odwalla smoothie. Off to chemistry lecture were talk of nuclear bombs and fusion reactions struggle to keep me awake. Class ends after an hour and I get some edamame beans to munch on for a snack before being left alone as we all went our separate ways. In comes the party train that is Nicky-Nic. I grab a sandwich and we're having dinner when Jackie stumbles upon us and you know when all three of us get together the volume level is unimaginable. Let's just say the entire area was looking at us. We come up with some intense secret handshakes before dinner time is over, but not before I fall on the massive staircase for everyone to see. Story of my life, but that deserves a presidential pardon.
image

Excuses can be made for so many things but when you face the facts and own up to what's going on that's when the truth will set you free. Jackie and I walk into our hall and there's Jandro just sitting in the window looking a whole lot of somber and uncharacteristically quiet. We talk and there's been a death in his family. Everyone reacts to news their own way and each of us shares how we do that. Soon I realize I've got to get changed and meet my fraternity brothers, Campby and Dom-Dom to walk over to the Theta sorority house. It's a playfully joke filled walk and we enter the super social atmosphere. It's a dinner social with PMD, Theta and Delta Tau Delta fraternity. Spaghetti, salad and breadsticks fill our stomachs as we all socialize. Me, personally, I was a whole lot of overwhelmed with the amount of people, about 80, that just flew by me. I shook so many hands and got quick names, but for real didn't remember anyone soon afterwards. I spent my time mostly talking to some of my brothers that I don't know as well like Jeremy (or as a I secretly call him Jer-Bear) and Dan, and Joe C (JC). They're all so interesting, different and bring a unique aspect that makes our group stronger. It's awesome to see them all in a different light and talk to them one on one instead of the usual in passing. There's the classic Campby moments of absolute English snobbery that we love and hate the guy for and big bro bonding with Gabriel. Of course there were those times when I was left alone and had that cliché junior high awkwardness, but that can be excused and attributed for me truly not having it. Then there's Zachy who was geeking me out hardcore all night. The dude is as sassy and funny as they come. Freaking Nicki Minaj lyric rapping and skinny jeans so tight he couldn't even handle his phone in there, too much. The hashtagging and twitter references in real life, yes please. I chuck the deuces to Derrick, Baldwin, and the elusive Dan H. (maybe I'll call him D-Ham) before walking back to campus with Dan. It's a scenic walk where we discover our similarities and make a pit stop to the Marché. We stop by the IRA (Inter-Residence Association) movie showing in the amphitheater where homegirl Erica, and advisers Jilliene and Learie are hanging out. Somehow in telling a story I cut my head on a tree branch and ridiculousness ensues. I still can't believe I'm the new president. It's crazy to realize how big of a role I'm about to take on. After some good laughs it's time to change into normal clothes and just relax a bit. I lay on my bed and plan my presidency and I realize that I'm supposed to speak at convocation (the opening ceremony for all first year students) *we'll see about that. All in all it was a memorable and busy day worthy of presidential pardon. Excuse the crazy.

Late night stupidity might be the best/worst thing about college. Midnight strikes and it's officially 4/20 and everyone outside lets out an audible cheer for national weed day, an unofficial holiday. Jandro, Cullen and I make a snack run before stopping by Tanya's room where Rasheeda and Anthony are hanging out. You know when it's late at night and you're just a total mess, that's how we all were. Tired and feeling young, wild and free. Running through the halls and being nincompoops, and I'm in the back trying to keep everyone calm and stop the crazy train before it goes off the tracks. Flipping couches in the lobby, throwing a noodle cup around and just walloping like madmen and me trying to wrangle. I now hold public office and cannot risk any scandal or incident of tomfoolery. In that same sentiment, I'm on the lookout for my first lady. I need the Michelle to my Barack, ladies, hmu - I'm kind of like important or something. Not really, but seriously. College is all about those randomly weird nights of being total teenagers. Cut yourself some slack and take it easy every once in a while. Making a fool of yourself is normal, and it will happen get used to it. We all deserve a presidential pardon everyone in a while.

Being a teenager is about that unforgettable embarrassing instances. That classic, wow, I cannot believe that just happened or the "that would happen to me." Uhm, that's the story of my life. Like Amanda Bynes being called the new Lindsay Lohan, after one DUI incident - naw bro, not cool. Here's your "get out of jail free" card - a presidential pardon.


My blog post question for the day is ... if you could do anything and get away it what would you do? Uhm, me personally, I would get on flights to places without paying and wing it. Scratch that, I hate unplanned things, y'all know that.

Popular posts from this blog

UnDateable

Storytellers

Narrative