Precipice

Being a teenager is all about being aware of not only yourself but your surroundings. It's such a weird thing to be conscious of not only you, but everything else around you as well. Sometimes you're in a situation and you can't possible fathom how everyone else is not seeing what you see, or how someone could saw what they just said. People miss the little things, and they don't pick up on. You're on the cusp; you're on the edge; you're at the precipice.

Awareness is one of those semi-creeptastic things. Just like noticing the little things, the quirks and the body language of other people. It's one of those small things that I see about other people. The eye twitches, the wincing, and the looks of shock right before someone composes themselves to pretend everything's okay. It's what makes us all human. Shoot, if I didn't do that I'd be a fricken robot like Robo Cop or Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator. I'm so quick (to quote the ever-hilarious JC Drake Douglas) "fix your face" when ish goes down, and the smiling - my goodness, how I've grown when it comes to pushing thing away and moving past stuff, at least for the moment. Another one of those things about college is being aware of time and place. People can be so awkward in the way that they interact with people - like this is not okay right now. Then there's those people who can't get a hint or can't get down when it needs to be. When people are sharing and "going there" like D to to E to the G-rassi, and people say it's awkward - it's only awkward because you're not on that personal level. You've got to be prepared to adapt in any situation. You're on the precipice on making that real connection with someone else. Take the chance, take the risk and just do it. Also this this week I was on the precipice on getting a whole lot of hot and bothered and conjuring up the courage to actually get flirty with my multiple #campuscrush girls. It didn't happen because I'm a wimp, way too shy, and blatantly inexperienced when it comes to the game of love. All I want to do is just court the girl and be her royal prince - no freak-deaky, no super-intense runaway love, just hanging out, going on fund dates and getting to know her better. Precipice - make your move.

So this whole being on the precipice thing - it takes a lot of thinking. As I like to say, "I don't really know how I feel about all that." Let me bring it down to my everyday life level - Wednesday we can fast forward through the morning (because classes matter why?). The afternoon begins with me making preparation for the IRA General Body meeting that's supposed to take place that night. Running around my room making lists, send tons of text messages and shooting out emails like I'm Daniel Craig with a golden PP9. That ish cray. Biology lecture takes it's sweet time passing and no matter how hard I tried to stay awake, I just couldn't. Like I physically could not - my state of being was just not having it. So I unintentionally knocked out, only to wake up to all the people around me watching, pointing and laughing at my less than male-model flawless sleeping face. It was a long walk over to Redstone campus with Anna but it was time for some more office hours. Let me just say that my VP, Sam, and I - we work like a well-oiled machine. We had stuff to do and we went in there and got it done, boom-pow. Back to my room to pretend to do homework (yeah right, but seriously) and get ready for GB. To the infamous fourth floor of the Davis Center to setup and wait for all of our peeps to arrive. I was just sitting up there and look who was studying all alone - the gorgeousness that is the original #campuscrush. I just want to go on a picnic with the dame and read books with her. Like gurrrrrrllll why you so cute though? Everyone arrives and the meeting goes well, we do some cheers, ice breakers, make nametags, discuss Robert's Rules and even choose committees. Woof-a-saurus Rex - down to Brennan's to eat with Drake, Learie, Anna and Sam. What a mess, Drake and Learie were doing the most grooving hard to the light jazz music blasting in there, and the rest of us were just geeking out. Out of nowhere it was raining and Sam and I just booked and got pretty drenched, but it was the highlight of my day. The night started with an unforseen turn of events, a friend had a tragic passing in her family. I did my best to be there, as in present, and open for her. My suitemate Jimmy and I ended up having a deep conversation about life, death, funerals, and how hard it is to actually talk about that stuff. I'll be honest, tears streaming down my face, and I was gone with too much emotion. Jimmy will forever be apart of my life - it's moments like that where you tip the scale on the top of that precipice. I cleaned myself up and studied some orgo via skype with my friend Dzenan (he goes here). My chem lab write up, ooph - that just didn't happen that night. Precipice reached - done and done.

Check out another video post that ties into this one. Recap my crazy Thursday and get to hear my scratchy sick person voice  #doublewin
Being a teenager is all about knowing where you are and what you're up to. It's so easy in college to get into a flow of things and just go through motions of actually being present. Your mind is somewhere else, you're doing what you have to but you'd rather be anywhere else. All I know is I'm on the outskirts, the outerbanks, and the fine line of outerspace next to something big. I'm on the precipice and it's time to tip one way or the other.

My blog post question for the day is ... what class do you zone out in? For me that'd probably be biology this semester, I can't handle the boredom. My teacher looks like Dan from Roseanne and is so dry, it's like a damn desert up in there.

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