Whatever It Takes

Being a teenager is all about reaching new heights. It's about challenging yourself and taking yourself to places you've never been. You never know what you're actually capable of until you're tested in the most extreme circumstances. Things will slowly work to unhinge you and your strong sense of survival comes out. It's like the Amazing Race meets Survivor up in this thing - you've got to do whatever it takes.

This semester for me has been all about perseverance. Like damn, there have been some legit actual hard times. Like instances where I've wondered if I was even capable of doing what was asked of me, or where the urge to give up and breakdown were so strong. It's been absolutely crazy. College is a major challenge, and it questions you at your most fundamental levels. Are you willing to work harder than you ever have before? What are you prepared to do to persevere? What are your limits? This is what is asked of you to evaluate. It's not until you're doing the most work that you've ever done that you'll come to either realize that you're stronger than you ever though or weaker than you'd expected. There's nothing wrong with the latter, it just means you have to be more realistic with what you take on. Take your time and do your work well. It's okay to struggle. If you're like me and are used to being good at everything you try, being faced with failure knocks you down more than a peg. It sends you crashing back down to Earth like a Smallville meteor shower. You've got to be able to ask for help and learn to say know when you're going to be overwhelmed or do too much (uhm, story of my overachieving life). You've got to be willing to sacrifice some of the fun to get some work done (that includes your sacred weekend mornings). Do whatever it takes. Friday for me meant a fast forward through hte motions of actually paying attention in class. I can zone the heck out, retain the information and just move on. I had a meeting in the afternoon which was a weird interruption to my normal day. From there I went to the library to join Josh and Kylie (my friends from biology) to last minute refresh for our impending biology exam. It was a madhouse in there. People were legit panicking and doing the most trying to memorize and cram. Time was up and right after that we took the exam, I think it went well (whenever I think that the graders think otherwise, so we'll see). Post class meant wallowing in my own despair for a while with my roommate, Patrick as we discussed the pure ridiculousness of our lives. My friend, Dzenan, came over and I helped him study for his upcoming calculus exam as I got ready for a black light party. Tell me why I'm doing my friendly duties and all over sudden drama breaks out and I'm called to come and deal with it (I hope you see this recurring story of my teenage life). I enter the student center and tears are being shed, so I bring out the empathy and comfort to the best of my ability. I hate to see people cry, it makes me want to do the same. The blacklight blowout party gets off its feet and surprisingly more people passed through than I expected. It went pretty well, the music was acceptable and the extra stuff added to the atmosphere of the thing. NBD, just spent 4 hours there - doing the most with the rest of my executive board, helped clean up, and chucked the deuces for bed at like 12:30am. I was more than stressed the heck out with all the stuff I was obligated to do on top of the crazy homework load I was about to tackle. I just wanted to give the hell up and quit at life. Like frick - no motivation at all. Somehow I made it, whatever it takes.

There's times when you completely amaze yourself. You never know that you can actually do something until you try. Psyching yourself can affect your performance. You have to first believe you can do something and then do it. If you come to find out that you can't actually do something, at least you tried. Whatever it takes, right? Saturday for me was one of those crazy days. I woke up at 8 am and just went ham. I had a 10 page research paper to write for my honors college class and I spent the entire day from then until 4 o'clock doing it. I knocked it out and I was absolutely proud of myself. Like how is that possible, I never would have thought I'd be able to do it. I didn't leave my room (except for a water refill) and I snacked all day and forced myself to get it done. Who knew I could sit there and write it on out so efficiently, that takes skill. I knew I had to do whatever it took to get that taken care of. At 6pm it was time for a shower and to get dressed up and snazzy to go see RENT the musical downtown at the Flynn Theatre. I was with the rest of my executive board and we were looking too legit to quit. Our advisor Learie was in the ensemble and seeing him onstage was amazing, what a gifted person. Personally, I was not moved by the first act at all - but after the intermission I was all about it. The songs were so much better, the story moved a little faster, and it had more happening. The story was interesting to say the least with HIV/AIDS playing a pivotal role in the plot points. The singing performances were more than memorable, and some stood out more than others - like the woman who played JoAnne was the bomb.com - homegirl can belt her ass off and act too, damn. After the play I finished my night off by watching the latest episode of the Vampire Diaries which changed everything (*spoiler alert) - Elena killed Connor. That ish was cray, I miss Rebeckah Kol and Elijah. Bonnie's professor dude is creepy as hell, Caroline needs to fight with Hayley soon and Jeremy's new tattoo is like woah. Beautiful show, awesome plot and every episode has me mindblown and wanting more. Sunday, more homework - this time organic chemistry practice problems. Dzenan came over again for more math homework and we took a trip to McDanks for some mediocre fast food (like heller). To end my day my fraternity, Phi Mu Delta, had our fall retreat where we had elections, got to know one another better and had some great laughs. I for real love those guys, they're all so awesome. Here it comes full circle, currently blogging this. I've made it to now - and I'll make it through this hell week. No matter what it takes.

Being a teenager is all about making it through the hardest parts of your life. There comes a time in the year where you've got to give it your all and push yourself to the absolute limits to get on. It's hard, and you'll struggle but you'll make it out for sure. If it doesn't turn out the way you expected, life goes on. Pick yourself up and go at it again. Whatever it takes.
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My blog post question for the day is ... what's your favorite episode of Degrassi ever? Uhm, in the old times probably when Degrassi Took Manhattan and Holly J's famous line "It's Holly J - bitch" or in more recently Cam's storyline with homesickness and cutting.

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