No Good Deed

Being a teenager is all about realizing how lucky you are. We live in a world where we're unaware of just how good we have it. Something to keep in mind is that your life could always be worst. Someone has it worse than you, and people don't get the same opportunities, or chances, much less the same advantages that you do. Some of this stuff we work for, and others are handed to us on a porcelain (*cough white privilege cough) platter. No matter our status, we forget what we've got and that no good deed goes unpunished.

 Good deeds. What does that mean to you? For me, that's the little things that make the smallest, most minuscule, and seemingly insignificant difference, but somehow make an impact. Like taking a card from the bottom of a pyramid and the rest tumbling down. It may seem irrelevant but it may be hugely important. You never know. Good deeds are knowing what's right and doing it, even when no one else is there to acknowledge it. I'll say that as a teenager I've noticed people have gotten into the bad habit of expecting recognition or some kind of reward. You should do the right thing because it's the right thing, not because someone important might see you and commend you. Those corny ass pictures in high school teachers had of like "integrity - doing what's right when no one is around" come to mind. It's true though, if you're at a stop sign and there's no one around would to just drive right through it? I would hope not (but when I'm whipping a Benz, you never know). People are so dependent on others for absolution and acknowledgement and it's really problematic. It's clingy, it's crazy, and it's not beneficial to need other people to validate everything you do. You're capable of evaluating yourself and making your own judgements. Relying on other people to make sure you're in the clear isn't helpful to your own self esteem or your ambition and it's honestly the easy way out. I've learned this week especially that people want to be babied, whether they admit it or not. They want to be coddled, taken care of, and held to someone else's standard. That includes being admonished of poor decisions and evaluated for their works. Teenagers have a common tendency to form these hive mentalities, swarm, and follow someone else's example. But that's not going to get you very far in the long run. Do your own thing and judge yourself, if you live up to your own standards then you've made it in your own book. No good deed goes unnoticed because you're checking yourself out, you know what you've done and where you could have gone that extra mile.
 
Let you give you the flip side of that, people are not obligated to do certain things for you like holding a door - people on campus make me totally livid when they don't respond to me saying thank you for keeping a door open. Respond you're welcome and let's move on. If I hold a door and don't get a thank you, I'm like I should have slammed the damn thing in your face and taught you a lesson. People doing their jobs, yes I understand that are being paid to do what they're doing but you can still show some gratitude for the work they are doing. The cashiers and cooks around campus, I always ask them, sincerely, how they're doing and engage in small conversation as opposed to giving them like freaking Gauntlet chimera dragon face. Like you don't have to be rude, smile every once in a while, it goes a long way. Thank people for what they've done. People go above and beyond the call of duty (modern civilware - see what I did there, ha ha, clever) every single day, and if you see it, acknowledge it. You can make someone's day and let them know that you see them (ewe, not like Avatar style, that movies was too long and way too cliché; uhm white people overrunning and destroying and entire civilization - sounds familiar). Do your part to make people feel special, that's a good deed in an of itself. Push yourself to do more, be a "better" (whatever that means to you) person, and try to make a positive difference. No good deed.
another game that i miss holy hell. as a kid i used to be afraid to play it alone because i thought the lich would come through the screen.
This week so far has can be summed up in one word ... drama. Drama freaking city. I feel like I'm on Pretty Little Liars or One Life to Live or something. Like why is my life a constant debate, battle and discussion. I'm like trying to do me and people are hating ... hard. Like put the Hatorade down with your Kris Humphries tomfoolery having self and leave me out of the nonsense. I like can't, like I just can't, like no though, the amount of cannot (like when you're having feels or a moment when you see your see your ultimate ship come to fruition or your celeb crush does something unfathomably subtle but sexy) is unreal. You're probably wondering what the hell could have possibly have happened to this kid that he's having a Clueless spaz out moment right now. I'll tell ya, ridiculousness has ensued. Balderdash has occurred. Absurdity has reached and all time high. Literally, but actually though, everyone has been a huge mess (I guess kinda, sorta me included). I reached my wit's end with everyone and even #angrytweet-ed that I just wanted to go home. Tears have been shed, deep breathing has been a common occurrence, and awkward incidents have gone down. Monday was crazy busy with class, office hours, meetings, and it all ended when chaos (at least in my mind) exploded at my RHA event. I got so frustrated and couldn't actually deal with the situation and multiple people, plus the crowd of 70+ college students like coming at me. I just wasn't having any of it because I have worked my ass off, given my all to my organization and never get recognition for it (I shouldn't do half the things I do), and when I got the blame for a mess happening, I almost lost it. I was like, "you would never" - better pause and refrain from coming at me neck crooked, because I was a loaded cannon and ready to blow and it wasn't going to be pretty. I calmed down, processed, and forgave the crazy after spending my night finishing up genetics homework and ridiculed Dzenan and Taylor in the library (uhm, who knew it was open then?). Tuesday was a big old struggle with class after class, then biology lab, stopping by another RHA program, genetics recitation, and lastly Hall Council appearance making. Somehow I ended up on the ground of my common room watching police brutality (thanks Jimmy) and brobonding via text with my friends Tanner and baby-Sam. Wednesday was supposed to be the departure (Jesse McCartney release an album soon) from the norm but it was class (with a shady pop) quiz, an SGA cabinet meeting (politics, and building evacuations), getting rain/snowed on, working during office hours, lunch time with  my fraternity brother, Connor, and my fraternity and sorority leadership class. Let's just say things got real, real fast. I'll say that we talked about privilege and hopefully people learned stuff, even me, who's aware of most of the identities and the ranking of those attributes in our society, learned some new stuff about people and myself. I just compounded all the past harm dealt against me because of my race and my socioeconomic status and just had tears stream down my face. I spoke and pushed myself to do so as well because I knew it'd be good for my classmates, but I was still petrified. No good deed is ever enough, you're always capable of doing more. My day ended with our RHA meeting where we had food, hung out and decorated banners and clothespins for our upcoming conference.

 Melissa and Joey being silly.  Taking photos of themselves.
Being a teenager is all about knowing when to respond. It's about finding the right time and the right place to make people feel good. We all have these expectations about where we should find our good deeds recognized, but the reality of the situation is that you will not, I repeat, not always get what you deserve for how amazing you are. Take it in stride, don't get mad, lead by example in your expressions of making people feel included, wanted, and necessary. Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.

My blog post question for the day is ... what are you most grateful for? I'm most thankful for my family, especially my siblings - without them I wouldn't have a reason to exist, like seriously.

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