Downward Spiral

Being a teenager is all about getting back up after you've knocked down. Diggy Simmons (uhm Rev. Run from Run DMC) has some quoteworthy lyrics (according to my younger sister). One of her favorite is "when you feel trapped, you got two choices ... you can either break down, or you can break through." Ain't that the truth though? When you've reached the bottom of the endless pit (is that an oxymoron?) you have nowhere to go but up. This downward spiral, it ends here.

Life has this funny way of pushing you over the edge and letting you free fall. The thing about falling down is that there's a bottom to hit and bounce back from. You can't go any lower than your lowest low. Instead of moping about, complaining and blaming everything wrong in your life on other people and the world in general, take charge and make the changes you want ... happen. Control your own happiness, don't give other people that power - when you do, you've lost your self determination and independence. You're capable of being whatever you want to be and doing what you want to be. Even on your darkest day and your dimmest moments, there's still that glimmer of light that keeps you hopeful and that's all you need to keep calm and carry on. British people know it best (not only are their accents swoon worthy, and they dress better) because you've just got to not panic and move the heck on. Like dang, look at Lindsay Lohan and dare I say it, Amanda Bynes - both those girls need to get their lives together, but they've spiraled so bad. Fine you had one DUI, and some other charges, but that should be enough, why keep going down your self destructive path? It doesn't make sense at all. Get your life and get moving. That goes for everybody. That which we destroy is only that which we have built - shouldn't the knowledge that it's what we've made ourselves prevent us from ruining everything? In theory, but in practice we're almost always responsible for our demise. Can't we just choose to be happy? Sometimes it's just that simple. Stop the vicious cycle, and pick yourself up. No more downward spirals - it's dizzying just to think about it. I'll leave the "preachy" part of this post with this quote "Everything will be fine in the end, if it's not fine, then it's not the the end."
downward spiralrock bottom.
Let me let you in on a not so huge secret - I absolutely despise puberty. Yes, I said it. I'm a 19 year old man-child, the quasi-adolescent freak of nature, and in the most awkward phase of life, hands downs. This whole time period is just weird overall. Everyone is trying to figure everyone else out and then also dealing their own personal nonsense. Like not only am I pretending to be a self-sufficient (while living on a sheltered ass campus, having an RA, and living on a meal plan ... whoops) but I'm physically aging (like as if ... ewe - Cher Horowitz; if Stacey Dash is any indication I'll be perfectly fine, homegirl is still flawless in her 40s, amen - let it be). This week I like broke down - not emotionally (like Huggies - I'm a big boy now), but in all other ways. Thursday I went through all my classes, and my genetics exam (which I think I aced, Matthew Lawrence taught me in "the Other Me" - DCOMs #FTW) and was a big ole mess. Not only did I have swamp ass (thank you to my fraternity brothers for coining all the butt sweat terms; apparently my jeans were too tight, New Boyz probs) but I was like narcoleptic in the most public of places as in the bus, a hallway, a stairwell, and a dining hall. I'm sorry that 8 hour thing doesn't happen for me, I've got a lot of work to do. I was walking up the stairs at night and literally just got dizzy and my eye started twitching. I had a fever and felt like all hell was breaking loose inside my body. Yo, puberty is a war that I'm finna lose. I called my father and mother and was like, errr I'm dying, cure me with your doctor powers. I ventured to Trinity (against my better judgement) to make an appearance at their midnight breakfast, which was a great success - but I felt like death the entire time. I missed the last bus and Sam I had to walk back to athletic campus in the cold, in the middle of the night, alone. This just seems to be the recurring story of my life. Friday morning I woke up to all kinds of aches and pains and just wasn't having it. My eye was just throbbing and my face was scruff - do I look like I enjoy scruff? I went through my day - make an announcement in my huge lecture hall (which terrified the hell out of me) and then went to the library to pretend to do homework with Dzenan and Taylor (those fools make my week every Friday). I knocked out all my shows for the week (as described extensively below) and played doubles tennis with Jimmy, Teddy and Sam (team Jam dominated). Dining hall dinner did nothing for digestive system, and the three of us were a total mess just hanging out there. Laundry night (because I'm excessive and have an obscene amount of clothes) and some logo designing. I just can't even. Bed time happened and I was spent from the week and I think I grew too. I might be a little taller and potentially even a smidgen hotter.

*This is my TV massive spoiler alert  and recap. Can I just say that the Carrie Diaries was beyond flawless this week, Dorrit and Miller amazing. Arrow with Thea with Roy, Tommy with Laurel, and Olly with McKenna - getting shot and Felicity *those two needs to get together soon and then Vampire Diaries Bonnie's pretend exorcism and the third massacre - she has no memory since the island #mindblown. Last but not least Pretty Little Liars - I don't even know what happened - is Mona now one of them, is Jenna involved romantically with Shana, can Spencer get with Andrew - screw Toby, did they actually see Alli, what does Melissa have to do with any of this, where were their parents and all the other characters - and how have they not failed out of school. And Baby Daddy so excited for season 2 to premier, and that they got renewed for a season 3 already!
The cutest thing ever.willaaaahh@coltonlhaynes #arrow #royharper #thecw 
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Being a teenager is all about picking yourself up by your boot straps (if you know Professor Bryan from the political science department you understand) and being the sole proprietor of your own happiness. You can spin, rage, and tantrum all you want, but at some point you realize it gets you nowhere. The only way to get out from an all time low (thank you, the Wanted for releasing aka making it an official single in the US) is to realize that all you have to do is stand up, brush the dirt off your knees and climb out. Screw the downward spiral.
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My blog post question for the day is ... what's the worst possible thing that could happen to you? Well there's definitely way worse thing but let's be real, if I went broke - my entire life would be over (the biggest first world problem of all time). I'd understand  that I could adjust and manage but I like my luxurious lifestyle and all the pretentious things that come along with it.

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