Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot

Truth - I'm both uncontrollably excited and absolutely terrified to embark on the next part of my life story for so many reasons. I wonder if I'm ready to do so. I want to know who I'll become. Most of all, I am scared to be separated from my friends and those I have come to include in my chosen family. I'm asking the big questions of what does friendship look like when there's physical distance between you. How do you sustain friendships when work, love, and life seem to get in the way? Sing it with me - should old acquaintance be forgot?

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it" Hubert H. Humphrey
 
One thing that stands out of me most about my friendships is just how different each and every one of them are. The relationships vary in length, depth, and dynamic. I am beyond blessed when it comes to friends. They are abundant and plentiful. I'm never at a loss to have someone to talk to, check in with, or inquire about. The difficulty for me lies in figuring out how I'm going to carry on with some many people. I'm worried about letting people fall by the wayside and drift away. It's disheartening to know that I can spend so much time forging these bonds and that something so arbitrary like distance and/ or time can have such an adverse impact. At the same time I think that the relationships that matter most to me will become clearer as I move forward. I guess have to accept things for what they are and do as much reaching out as I can. If I mean enough to people like they do to me than there shouldn't be any disconnection.
 
Reestablishing normalcy is going to be a real process. Particularly in relation to all the friends that have come to have these mentor/big brother relationships with me, it's going to take some getting used to. I imagine I'll be less accessible once my new endeavors with school, work, and figuring out life outside of college begin. I hope it serves as an empowerment to them to know they have so much capability and most definitely will be okay without me in that capacity. Shifting relationships there will ideally give me more friends that see me as someone that they can afford to be vulnerable with and for me to be able to do the same. For others it'll be getting a routine of when I'll make not find time to converse with them. And even more so are those who I won't even need to talk to for weeks or months on end and still will know that there's something profound there. Much like my few friends from high school, Taylor, Chelsea, Katelyn, and Gabby among others - I just know we're all good. We have our own lives but we're still part of each other's in ever-present supportive capacity. What a gift it is to have those you can call old friends. May they always remain in my life. Should old acquaintance be forgot?
 
The past few days have been a practice run for what life might be like come August. I had four days off from orientation and so I was left with the personal choice to figure out how to spend my time. Everyday was a debate between whether I just wanted to spend time with myself (introvert for life) or to reach out and connect with people that I claimed meant the world to me. I spent Monday doing my own thing getting a haircut, picking up some Nepali food, and finishing up the final few episodes of Scrotal Recall. Tuesday was much of the same. I hit the grocery store for essential snackage and otherwise was tucked away in my room enjoying some much needed alone time. I finally caught up to the present time on this blog, redid my design layout, and worked on some grad school matriculation things. At the back of my mind though was this feeling that I really should be checking in to see how people were doing and to set up some hang out time with those still in the area. This was my chance to  be the kind of friend I had always longed for and proclaimed to be - the one who made the effort.
 
Thinking about all the time I spend texting and social media is actually quite nauseating but hey if it keeps people updated and connected then I'm okay with it. I've been more mindful of being present and engaged in the real world. I set aside time to answer text messages that aren't as pressing and it's made a big difference. I'm just happier in general especially since I no longer let digital dialogue direct my disposition. Wednesday saw me going to a late brunch with my friend Isora. We're both working orientation but with all the daily organized chaos of it we hadn't had much time just to be. The food was good but the conversation was better. Talking to hear is easy and I am always reminded how much I value her presence in my life. Evening came I went to have dinner and catch up with my buddy Kyle. Three hours we spent talking about anything and everything. I didn't even notice the sun had set. It was so good to be in his company and to hear about his stories and experiences. The guy is a real character with a kind heart. It was so apparent when I was leaving about our mutual investment in our friendship. It was definitively the highlight of my week so far. The night finished with a classic tea session with some of the orientation staff that had me rolling on the ground laughing until I couldn't breathe. It was too much fun. Lowkey good times are hard to come by these days. I grabbed lunch on Thursday with my first year roommate and homeboy for life, Patrick. It's unreal how comfortable I feel whenever I'm around him. No holding back and the laughter, oh the laughter - there's nothing like it. He's one of those people I know will be in my life for the rest of it.

Do you ever just get those text messages from some of your friends and it instantly brings a smile to your face? There are so many people in my life that bring up fondness, warmth, and benevolence whenever I think of them. I sent out a barrage of messages inquiring about people's summers, next life steps, and general well-being. I was inundated with responses and have taken this as an indication that my life probably will constantly be filled with good people to call my friends. Some people take longer than others but that's okay; I can wait - some people are worth it. I'm taking it upon myself to the one that lets people know I'm thinking about them, that they still matter to me, that we're still connected. That's all I can do. Otherwise it's up to them. Should old acquaintance be forgot ... only if they want to be. X

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