Drift

Truth - Each period of life is marked by pivotal events, but possibly even more so the presence and the absence of those around us. People play such critical roles in our lives. The ways that people move in an out orbit to us truly is a synchronized performance of the most marvelous proportions. As some move closer in proximity, others retreat. There we are in the center of it all, pushing, and pulling on the heavenly bodies of those around us. What happens some come too close - are they burned in the process? What about those that or depart from our gravitational field, are they forever lost to the cosmos? How do we account for drift?

"We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end."
Blaise Pascal

The world is a funny place. I find myself more and more moving through it and being in awe. The world is truly an elaborate labyrinth that one barely ever makes much headway in. I think of all the ways I make my world small, more manageable, and tangible. I don't know what this incessant need for control in my life is but I have a feeling it has to do with this overwhelming fear of well ... being overwhelmed. There are these moments there where I take in the context of where I am and in utter shock. I look at how tall the buildings are, how far the clouds stretch out, and how many people are all around me. I make up these little stories about the people I pass on the street with complete conflicted-hero origin stories and all. All these people that exist in the same world I do and yet their world is completely different. Their experiences are uniquely different than mine. They move through the world in ways that I do not and vice versa. Then I see something or someone that reminds me of my people, my legion, my tribe, and I am reminded that no matter where I am that they are always with me. It's the noises, smells, tastes, touches, and sights that bring memories I have made with others that come rushing back. There I am in a sea of people, and yet I am alone. I am adrift - wading through waters trying to find sanctuary, safety, and solace I long for in myself but even more so with others.

I have come to realize just how novel where I am in my life can be. People have obligations, responsibilities, and demands that dictate their maneuverability. I think we have to recognize not just where we are but where others are in their lives. Think about all the people you were close with, the ones you talked to every single day, and the ones that you relied on. Those people have probably changed over time. I know for me they have. There are these sagas and I can think of the person who was my confidant throughout each period. Then over time, you fall out of one another's lives. Maybe they played their part, and have to bow out. People drift apart but that doesn't mean they don't find their way back together. Life, the world, fate, or whatever you want to call it work in mysterious ways have ways of moving us around. Maybe some people are supposed to be in your life for one part of it but not another. Maybe they are meant to teach you something and once that lesson is finished - move on. Maybe there is no rhyme or reason to any of it and people are just people. Based on where we are in our journeys, people may be along for ride, or on adventure of their own. Coming to peace with both is part of life and championing drift.



Friends come and go. That's a fact of relationships. Sometimes they last, and other times they don't. So much of whether our relationships survive or not depends on how much of a priority we make them out to be. It's also about whether the relationship forged is strong enough that it does not need constant sustenance to persist. Everybody has those friends that they talk to daily and need that to keep their connection alive. Then there are those people that you can go months, in not years without talking to but you know that you still matter to one another. There's not an inherent values judgment about those relationships either way. We check in and we check out. Sometimes we're not able to be part of the daily lives of our friends and families but nonetheless we are still part of their lives. It is up to all of us, though to be reach out, engage, and let people know how we feel about them, even if it is just on occasion. Unanswered text messages, missed phone calls, and plans that fall through all convey a message of disinterest. We have to be intentional about how we value or devalue our relationships with others. Make it all purposeful. Say what you mean. Be vulnerable.

I want people in my life. I want to be someone that is dependable. I want to be embody integrity and loyalty. That for me means taking a genuine interest in the lives of others and getting out of my head more often than I do. I think for me that means not always centering myself in my own affairs but expressing a genuine concern for the well-being and happiness of others. That is availing myself for not just my own social needs, but to be there for others. I want to be someone who others call upon for support, for advice, and just because. I know that juggling so many relationships can be difficult but if people matter to me, then I have to make time for them. Busyness is an excuse for denial of priority. Owning that distinction is huge. Some people get text messages, others get snapchats, and now I'm even going to writing post cards to some friends. I want to be comfortable with the drift that happens naturally and know that I can control it by simply saying hello. X

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