Youthful Life: X

"A wkward' is a ubiquitous teen word to denote socially unsanctioned behavior. It usually implies first- or secondhand embarrassment when you or a friend step outside the rules. Awkward doesn't sound overtly judgmental or negative; it's deliberately vague." Mary H.K. Choi I'm awkward . I'm nervous. I sweat a whole lot. I talk to myself way too much. I'm constantly in my own head trying to appear comfortable on the outside but I'm internally screaming. Why am I so awkward? Do other people notice how awkward I am? What can I do to be less ... well - awkward? These are the questions that play over and over in my head. I don't know what to do with my hands. I'm not really relaxed but I'm hoping other people perceive me to be. What should I say? When is my moment? Will anyone notice me? Does anyone care whether I'm here? Why does this look so easy for everyone else? Why not me? Social awkwardness is this self-induced purgatory of mo...

“Rejection is inevitable. The goal is to minimize it.” Keith Grafman Language is a constantly evolving sociopolitical construct. It changes with the locale, culture, and context in which it is used. Words take on new meaning. The world of relationships and romance has been revolutionized itself with the onset of digital mediums through which to communicate. With it though has been borne a potentially toxic culture of miscommunication, micro-communication, and no communication at all. No one really knows how people will utilize inventions, and oftentimes users dictate the uses of products more than creators do. People are both predictable and simultaneously an unsolvable enigma of the most epic proportions. They exist both in the centerfold and the marginalia. They are creatures of habit and wildcards played to disrupt the flow of things. People can be cruel regardless of intent just as easily as they can be kind. Time for a vocabulary lesson, this time on breadcrumbing, windows...

"The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe" Lawrence Kutner Kids are truly awe-inspiring people . There's something about them and their fresh perspectives on the world that adults just don't quite get. The ways they understand or at least approach understanding the world has just as much nuance as it does randomness. When we take the time to pay attention there is much to be learned. I had the opportunity to spend a few a days taking care of two year-old nephew, affectionately referred to as the Little Prince by me, myself, and I. In that time I took so much from spending time with him, other than reaffirming how truly phenomenal he is as a person, just the applicable things he's learning/being taught and their implications for my life is an adult-in-progress. Patience, patience, patience. In a world where I am constantly moving, zooming, speeding, to an fro I had to adjust to his pace. The few moments I found myself getting frustrated with ...

Truth - The human experience is centered around community. We are not meant to be alone. In fact, community is critical to our survival as individuals, both in practicality and psychologically. In extreme circumstances, prolonged isolation from others results in the deterioration of the psyche, cognitive functions, and grasp on reality. We figuratively, and quite literally need people. The sustained relationships we form are essential to our existence and persistence throughout the entirety of our lives. And so let us commune.   "What it meant to me: a happy life, of course, companionship, of course. A common objective,  I think." Denis Thatcher   Behavioral styles speak to our most common ways of being. They predict how we act, interact, and communicate. For me, my introverted nature can be a challenge to overcome, particularly when it comes to forging and maintaining relationships. I am someone who loves to be invited to things but takes even more pleasure in...

Truth - How we are effects who we are. Everything that we do, and the things that happen to us have an impact on the ways that we proceed. We as people are collections of experiences, memories, and emotions. This amalgamation of all that we determines how we show and where we show up. There is a reason for our actions, our words, and our understandings of the world, and everything it. Truly reflecting on and processing through those root causes is a lifelong quest to understand the enigmatic simplicity. What are you looking for? "We don't know all the answers. If we knew all the answers we'd be bored, wouldn't we? We keep looking, searching, trying to get more knowledge." Jack LaLanne   "What are you looking for?"  It's the question that always comes up during any type of dating situation. Honestly, what kind of question is that? It depends on the person. All I know is that when I know, I'll know . Why do I have to know what I want in a...

Truth - Life is complicated and life is simple. Life is a constant struggle to figure it all out. What's the meaning of life? What is our purpose? What are we meant to do here? Does any of this matter, are those questions irrelevant, and are we significant in any meaningful way? The further we go in life the more we have to wonder what it's all about. Does anyone know? Is it the same for everyone? What am I like this , and how did I end up here? "I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias." Maya Angelou What am I doing with my life ? There's that question that creeps up and threatens to strangle you in its clutches of  existential dread from time to time. It's that meta moment where you are painfull se...

Truth - stories are how we communicate. Stories matter more than we may ever truly know. It's through stories that we create our truths and come to believe what we believe. It's by the storytelling of others and their craftsmanship of the narrative, richness of the plot, and vivacious characters that we come to have our worldviews. Stories have an immense power if only they are allowed to be told. Representation matters, stories matter, we matter.   "There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously ...

Truth - Life is a series of adjustments. We go through life taking things as they come and learning how to deal with them. Situations are fleeting, our surroundings change, and people come and go. The older we get, the bigger those changes can seem at times. We come to these realizations and have to take the time to process the information we're given and act as we see fit. Some things hit us harder than others and occasionally our epiphanies are delayed. Growing up is hard, and it never ends. Ready to go home? "Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey." Tad Williams I don't know about you but when I left home to head off to college I don't think I properly said goodbye - to my bedroom, my house, and most prominently my childhood. I didn't realize t...

Truth - Knowledge is power. What we choose to do with that power though makes all the difference. Knowledge can be used to the benefit of others. It can be a tool utilized for liberation just as easily at it be a used to oppress. Knowledge can provide choice, agency, and control in the same ways that it can limit, obscure, and dictate. Knowledge does not come with an inherent values judgment. Those who bear it's weight must decide what to do with it. This is knowledge. "Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in every society, in every family." Kofi Annan Do you ever feel like you just know too much? It sounds like the plot of a 1920's crime ring that you have just unwittingly uncovered, and you're set to be "taken care of" because you gained some knowledge you weren't supposed to have. There is this unspoken burden that comes with knowledge. You have to do something with it otherwise it is truly mea...

Truth - A change of perspective does the mind good from time to time. Being reminded that every person you come across experiences the world differently than you do, and likewise, you from them can be an important thing. It can be so easy to get caught up the chaotic monotony of our everyday lives and miss out on the opportunities to know other people, brand new experiences, and figure out ourselves if we do not shift our perspective every once in a while. Things are never what appear to be, and at the same time they are. It all just depends on your altitude. "Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in.”   Shannon L. Alder How easy it is to forget that the ways that we ourselves are inherently different than how others perceive us. We think we're showing up in one way and that might be so, at least to us, but others may experience us differently. The tough thing is we have to acknowledge that both perceptions are uniquely valid, and yet fundamen...

Truth - Life happens in bit and pieces. Each day we write a little bit more of our life stories. The people we meet become different characters in our escapades. Our conversations, actions, and experiences write the narrative that fill the pages. Little by little we complete sentences, paragraphs, chapters, and books. The only thing that remains constant is us as the protagonist but even we, ourselves, change along the way. That's part of our character development. This is chronicle. " To be really great in little things, to be truly noble and heroic in the insipid details of everyday life, is a virtue so rare as to be worthy of canonization." Harriet Beecher Stowe For the majority of my time in this life, it's been written in semester increments. Just as one ends, another creeps up and is ready to begin. This year saw me having my big finish to my college chapter and starting a new one with graduate school. The cycle was set to continue but this time the stak...