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Showing posts from November, 2018

Know

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"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't know. It's almost become a reflexive habit to utter those words. It's an indecisive cop out. It's a passing off onto someone else. It's a deflection to avoid sharing our thoughts or opinions. It's okay to say I don't know, AND in most contexts we actually do know. We need to reserve "I don't know" for rare occasions. Sometimes we're afraid to say what we want to say because we worry how other people will react, or we're scared that if we utter our real words aloud that it bring them to life. We need to stop saying we don't know. We need to start listening to our bodies. We know what we want. We know what we believe. We know what we think. The only thing stopping us from sharing what we know to be true (at least for ourselves) is ourselves. Why do we hesitate? Stop short? Stumble over ourselves? What are we afraid of? What do w…

Closed

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"Moving on is not closure. It's not neat, and it's not about turning the page. It is about moving on, but it doesn't mean that you've left something behind." Thomas Gibson

Let go. Let go of things out of your control. Let go of people who don't want to hold on to you. Let go of people who you know you should let go of. Let go. Closure is often something we are deprived of. Things rarely have a clear ending. The world is messy. We get left behind. Relationships fizzle, fall out, or fade. Closure gives us peace. Closure is definitive. Closure is final. It gives us that ultimate release to sever all ties, clean house, and move on. Closure can be hard even when we do get it, or better yet, or ensure it for ourselves. Sometimes we avoid closure because we know how decisive it is, and some part of us has hope that things will change or get better. The harsh reality is, patterns continue unless they are changed, cycles remain cyclical unless they are broken, clos…

Expectation

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"Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations" Leo Buscaglia

I wonder if I expect too much of others. In some ways I also question if my expectations are too close to the bare minimum. There doesn't quite seem to be a middle ground of compromise balancing my internal expectations and my external pronouncements. I get frustrated when I behave in certain ways - going above and beyond for others, being present and supportive, showing up, etc. - and don't receive reciprocated energy, effort, or time. The real person to blame though is me for never getting explicit in saying what I need, what I want, and what I'm looking for. Other people cannot read my mind, and I don't get to be petty, hold grudges, or write people off because they couldn't telepathically psychoanalyze me. I'm learning that I cannot be disappointed when people fail me because I never communicated what it would take for them to succeed. How can I be surprised when pe…