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Showing posts from September, 2018

Absolute

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"We are what we do repeatedly" Unknown
I had a conversation recently where someone described themselves as a good person and I stopped/corrected them. People are not inherently good or bad, they do relatively good or bad things, and have a tendency of those things. It made me think of who gets to be good or bad, whose perspectives are represented, who is typecast as what, and how does the curve of the arc of justice rectify all these imbalances. Who gets to posit themselves as good or bad? Who wins, and who loses? Who saves, and who gets saved? The false dichotomy of good and evil, like most things, plays into our social norms and their implications. People can do or say the same thing and based on how we've learned to interpret them and who they are we react differently. Goodness is not applied evenly. Not everyone gets the chance to be "good." Justice is relative. Proximity changes everything. How can we have absolutes in an uncertain world?

Am I a good person?…

Flimsy

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"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Ana├»s Nin


Friendships in adulthood are difficult. Not inherently, necessarily, but because we make them so. Time and time again I found myself dealing with flimsy relationships. I mean relationships were the connection is weak. Something comes up, someone gets busy, we stop talking for a couple of days, and we're disconnected. These connections start off strong, and just as quick as they come they dissipate into nothingness. It's frustrating to say the least. These connections don't have enough substance to withstand the daily hardships and obstacles of life. There's not a solid foundation of investment to endure a missed reply, a cancelled plan, or a disagreement. It's these one and done instances where someone says or does something we don't like, and we give up on them. There's merit to that sentiment on occasi…

Fallout

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"Therefore the great mediator of any community is human morality." Armstrong Williams

Empathy is by far my strongest characteristic and ability. It allows me to understand other people's emotions, perspectives, and rationales, and to respond accordingly. I can quickly pull out of my emotional repertoire the full gamut of feelings to almost perfectly match  those of others around me. In doing so, I get to provide a substantive support for those around me. Meanwhile I am left to deal with the ramifications of taking on the emotions of other people. I'm left alone in the aftermath, exhausted, drained, and emotionally overdrafted. Most of the time I'm able to replenish and recuperate, but there are times where I am emotionally taxed beyond my capacity and in showing up in extraordinary ways for others put myself in danger. When I am listening, striving to understand, reflecting, asking questions, giving guidance, or just being present with other people I have learned …

Unrequited

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"Too many of us are hung up on what we don't have, can't have, or won't ever have. We spend too much energy being down, when we could use that same energy — if not less of it — doing, or at least trying to do, some of the things we really want to do." Terry McMillan



We cannot convince someone to like us; more importantly we should not have to do so. People should want us, as we are, because of who we are. We should have not sell ourselves, demand recognition, or pine for attention. Let go of people who never reached out to you, those who never attempted to catch you, and those who stood idle as you took a risk. People should be able to see our inherent worth, and to value it as priceless. Anyone who needs convincing is unworthy of your essence, time, energy, or effort. We have to stop wasting our time on those who have no intention of choosing us. Why do we seek the acknowledgement, permission, acceptance, etc. of others knowing that it will never be ours? Why do …