Youthful Life: X

"Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us - and those around us - more effectively. Look for the learning."  Louisa May Alcott We are all the main characters of our own life stories . What happens when we're not quite the protagonist and instead overrun by the supporting cast, the "Big Bad" villains, or the pervasive locale as its own character? We must be central to our own narratives AND we have to get out of own stories to realize that every single person has a story just as complex, full, and nuanced as ours. That's a bit difficult to wrap our heads around. If we are the center of our solar system with overlapping components from other celestial bodies then everyone else is also positioned as the center to their own galaxy and universes. How do we depart from our home star base to visit those of others around us? What does it take for us to get out of our own heads and to send out a s...

" When you've seen beyond yourself, then you may find, peace of mind is waiting there." George Harrison There's something to be said about being seen . By that, I mean when others take the time to honor your humanity. It's people stopping to give you their undivided attention, gifting you their time, and devoting their energy to you, and you alone. It's this moment of intense human connection. It's purposeful. It's entrancing. It's meaningful. Oh to see, and to be seen. In a world where we see very little beyond the confines of our viewpoint to truly see another person, even if only for a moment, is something significant. People are used to not being seen. Who takes the time to notice them, to recognize their existence, and to celebrate their humanity just because? It can be a rarity. We expect people to treat us largely with indifference, let alone prioritize us in a fleeting moment. When people do relish in our presence, grace us with the...

" There is an organic affinity between joyousness and tenderness, and their companionship in the saintly life need in no way occasion surprise." William James One of the most striking human experiences is witnessing the reunion and embrace of people who have not seen one another in a while. To see two people emote that euphoric joy of connection is nothing short of awe-inspiring, and serves to remind us what makes so special ... connection. Two people in proximity, both physically and emotionally, having forged and continuing to reaffirm, invest, and reciprocate with one another. It’s one of the simplest and yet most complex of human relationships. Constantly we are searching, yearning, wanting connection to feel seen, heard, and valued - and to be able to do the same for others. What a gift it is to be able to recognize, validate, and celebrate the humanity of another. There’s something deeply profound of connecting with someone who is willing, able, and readily ret...

"We are what we do repeatedly" Unknown I had a conversation recently where someone described themselves as a good person and I stopped/corrected them. People are not inherently good or bad, they do relatively good or bad things, and have a tendency  of those things. It made me think of who gets to be good or bad, whose perspectives are represented, who is typecast as what, and how does the curve of the arc of justice rectify all these imbalances. Who gets to posit themselves as good or bad? Who wins, and who loses? Who saves, and who gets saved? The false dichotomy of good and evil, like most things, plays into our social norms and their implications. People can do or say the same thing and based on how we've learned to interpret them and who they are we react differently. Goodness is not applied evenly. Not everyone gets the chance to be "good." Justice is relative. Proximity changes everything. How can we have absolutes in an uncertain world? Am I a go...

"Therefore the great mediator of any community is human morality." Armstrong Williams Empathy is by far my strongest characteristic and ability. It allows me to understand other people's emotions, perspectives, and rationales, and to respond accordingly. I can quickly pull out of my emotional repertoire the full gamut of feelings to almost perfectly match  those of others around me. In doing so, I get to provide a substantive support for those around me. Meanwhile I am left to deal with the ramifications of taking on the emotions of other people. I'm left alone in the aftermath, exhausted, drained, and emotionally overdrafted. Most of the time I'm able to replenish and recuperate, but there are times where I am emotionally taxed beyond my capacity and in showing up in extraordinary ways for others put myself in danger. When I am listening, striving to understand, reflecting, asking questions, giving guidance, or just being present with other people I have lea...

"Hope is a necessity for normal life and the major weapon against the suicide impulse."  Karl Menniger The conversation on mental health, mental illness, and suicide start with us. Here's my story:  #TakeAMinuteChangeALife Asking for help is something we're taught from a young age will always be acceptable. At some point, however, that message is truncated and the likely we actually will ask for help when we need it decreases drastically. For an abundance of reasons, namely our socialization based on gender roles, social class, etc., we opt out of reaching out when we need it most. But to what end? Wouldn't we be better off asking and receiving the help that we need, when we need it? Arguably yes, but that invalidation of requesting assistance also extends to others and their willingness to give said help. With the problematic tropes of picking yourself up, trial by fire, anti-coddling/safe-space etc. running a muck - there's a fear, both real and...