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Showing posts from 2017

Flawed

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"I discovered that my insecurities and my flaws were things that I actually need to embrace, and I let them become my superpowers." Skylar Grey

Is it just me or does anyone else sabotage their relationships before they have the chance to become anything meaningful? I don't really know why I'm like this, or maybe I do, but just have never had the gumption to actually say it out loud. Deep down, I don't think I deserve love for a multitude of reasons but mainly because I have so much fear of being unlovable that it actually manifests itself in me trying to embody that. What I mean to say is whenever I meet someone that I have the potential to like I find something about them, whether it be a character trait, quirk, or something else about them, and I fixate on it. It's often a minute detail but the way my mind goes into overdrive essentially hyperbolizing the thing I've latched on it is truly a wonder of the most dastardly proportions. It could be anything a…

Outgrowth

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"Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc., at times before they're worn out and times - and this is the worst of all - before we have new ones." George C. Lichtenberg



Maybe it was because of all that I experienced but I don't have the same nostalgia that I see so many of my friends do for high school or college. I have never wanted to go back. I can pinpoint specific people that I still think about and that I care for but besides that there is no longing for me to return from whence I came. Even in the past year I've had multiple opportunities to visit my alma mater and I turned them down. I think I decided that I would never return there. Too much happened and I'm still processing it all three years later. What I mean to say is I have more than outgrown the place. I know for me there has been nothing more me to take from there. I took all that I could, learned from it, and went on my way. That's what I h…

Liberation

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"America is false to the past, false to the present, and solemnly binds  herself to be false to the future." Frederick Douglass

The American Dream is dead. Rather it never existed. Maybe it did, but even then it was not made for everyone to be able to attain it. What's a dream if its within reach for everyone? No it was, is, and always will be reserved for a select few. And to those who don't fit the selection criteria but somehow, against all odds (*read systemic and interpersonal barriers) make it - the narratives are co-opted to reify the propaganda that the dream is only deferred not denied. This country doesn't want us all the make it. Our society isn't built for everyone to thrive. Our perspective needs people to trounce upon, to use, to throw away as disposable. We need people to other. We need them to be different. We need there to be a distinction between us and them. That is what we are founded on - blood, the ideals of the rich white-male elite, and …

UnDateable

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Truth - The dating landscape has changed drastically in the path few decades. The ways that people are getting together, why they're doing it, and how long they stay way varies more and more. The notion of traditionalism that centers heteronormative coupling may be alive and well but the normalized narrative has received quite a few retoolings, edits, and both compatible and not-so-compatible counternarratives. The reality is some folx have partners, other don't - that's okay. There are still ways in which the former relegates those "without" as (dun, dun, dun) undateable. 

"Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.”  Mandy Hale


I'm undateable. There I said it. At the same time I'm also the "ideal" person. Body type, height, weight, smile, fashion sense, gainful employment, domesticity (…

Black

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I don't know what to say. I know exactly what I want to say. I am constantly on the verge of tears. I shake uncontrollably, I panic constantly, and I am paranoid. Racial battle fatigue is the traumatic aftermath of  never-ending psychological warfare. I teeter in this obscurity of pretend bliss and mortal fear. I exist only in the marginalia. Outsider, other, thug, brotha, criminal, savage, animal, subhuman. Am I a human being? Am I here right now? God where are you? Why did you do this to me? Why am I like this? My skin, my melanin, my culture, my language, my nose, my lips, my teeth - my body, broken, battered, beaten. Here I am, do you know me? Am I one of your children? Why have you forsaken me? I lay hear at your feet, begging, pleading, praying, that you will hear my cries. My literal cries. My screams of horror. My tears of sorrow. My heart that never stops beating as if to escape from my chest, from its cage, from the compounds where they used to keep us, from captivity, f…

Agency

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Truth - We should all be feminists. For the sake of the world and creating the best reality possible, we must prioritize dismantling the patriarchal system we have been indoctrinated into. Everyone and I mean absolutely everyone has a stake in the fate of womxn across all diversities and intersections of identity. The liberation of womxn is inherent to the emancipation of all from rigid gender roles, societal expectations, and adverse stereotypes that prevent people by from reaching their full potential. Agency is the ability to choose, and to choose for yourself. Feminism is about dynamic agency in all aspects of life.

"Feminism is hated because women are hated. Anti-feminism is a direct expression of misogyny; it is the political defense of women hating." Andrea Dworkin

I am a feminist because people should be able to have choice in all aspects of life. Freedom is choice and to be so without the bondage of a world order that demands restriction, complacency, and success at t…

Content

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Truth - Sometimes life seems to be good to be true. Isn't it odd how we spend so much time waiting for calamity to strike. We are constantly on the lookout for strife, hardship, and challenge. Sometimes, on rare occasions it seems (or more often if we wide our perspectives), life really can be as good as feels. Learning to capitalize on those dissipating moments is a skill many of us have little to no experience in doing successful. We have to learn how to be happy. Seems implicit but reality shows us otherwise. This is content.

"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." Thucydides

I have a confession to make. I don't know how to be happy. I don't think I allow myself to be happy often enough to recognize it when I'm feeling it. I have grown accustomed to just settling for being mostly appeased but less than stellar. But as of late, I would say my post-collegiate years, I have been surrounded by happiness. I've found it ha…

Balance

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Truth - People spend a significant amount of their lives working. The work environment can be a wild place. Navigating it's hierarchies, pitfalls, and trick question is a job in an of itself. Being successful in your work is not just about the qualifications, talents, and skills you bring but build community, connection, and networking where you are, and beyond. It's about deciding how you want to show up at work, and holding yourself accountable to doing so. It's about finding that mythical sense of "balance."

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony." Thomas Merton

Starting a new job, in my case my first job, is a process. Navigating the workplace, particularly the organizational politics takes times, and figuring out where you fit into it all can be woefully confusing. Building connections and maintaining relationships honestly seems to be the main work that I've been doing with my task oriented items coming…

Unknown

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Truth - Life is full of ambiguity. Things never happen the way that we imagine them to. As much as we try and plan it all out, life always does it's own thing. More often than not, things tend to work out for the better, or at least gravitate towards some semblance of relative normalcy. That randomness that we all dread and strive to avoid though can be inevitable. Sometimes we have to embrace the haphazard nature of life, and just go with it. Doesn't make it any easier venturing into the unknown.

"There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met." William Butler Yeats

One of the most dubiously exhilarating, and simultaneously most terrifying things in life is moving to a new place. There's new people and places to discover. Things to do, food to try, and connections to be made - the possibilities are endless. At the same time, you're absolutely all alone, fear can be truly debilitating, and doubt can settle in. It's this constant struggle …

Closure

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Truth - Things rarely, if ever, work out the way we imagine them to. In fact, all the time spent obsessively trying to forecast the future only to be disappointed by the difference between our projected premonitions and reality, could be better spent trying to take things as they are. There's this part of humanity that desperately tries to make sense, meaning, perfect - what have you, out of the ambiguity of life. It's the paradox of predestination juxtaposed against the conceptualization of free-will. Are the two diametrically opposed, mutually exclusive, and the antithesis of one another? All I know is that people maybe vie for control because it gives them power to make things the way they want them instead of life running its unpredictable course. Who knows what will next. I think people just want some closure. 

"I don't believe you ever get closure on anything. Things leave a permanent mark on you."  Allison Anders

Life is messy, people. Life is random. Life is…

Correspondence

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Truth - We live in a world of communication. To be human is to be in contact with other humans. That ease of communication ranges greatly though from one experience to another. Some people have access to resources, devices, and networks that make communicating nearly instantaneous. Others are limited in that respect. And yet somehow people convey what they need to across barriers of medium, language, ability, etc. Conversations go on around us all the time, and sometimes they don't. The dialogues we're part of all depend on the context we find ourselves in. How do we regulate our correspondence?

"Everybody is continuously connected to everybody else on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Reddit, e-mailing, texting, faster and faster, with the flood of information jeopardizing meaning. Everybody's talking at once in a hypnotic, hyper din:  the cocktail party from hell." Maureen Dowd

I remember in high school, back in the days when we had limits on minutes and text…