Youthful Life: X

" The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it.  Memories need to be shared.” Lois Lowry Memories are all we have to make life real . Memories are what we cherish to carry all that has come before us. Memories are all that we truly are. What a year. What happened this year? What the actual fuck happened this year? How could this year be real? I have struggled to write this post because life is not some absolute balance weighing the benevolence of this isolated period of time. Simple me wants to say this has been by far the worst year of my life to date. Complex me knows that life not a scale that tips positive or negative. Life has nuance. Life has meaning when we assign it meaning. Life is life.  I think there is profound meaning in memory preservation, and there is immense importance in memory creation. We are tasked with doing both in our lives - holding on to the remnants of the past, and maneuvering to create our presents an...

" When you've seen beyond yourself, then you may find, peace of mind is waiting there." George Harrison There's something to be said about being seen . By that, I mean when others take the time to honor your humanity. It's people stopping to give you their undivided attention, gifting you their time, and devoting their energy to you, and you alone. It's this moment of intense human connection. It's purposeful. It's entrancing. It's meaningful. Oh to see, and to be seen. In a world where we see very little beyond the confines of our viewpoint to truly see another person, even if only for a moment, is something significant. People are used to not being seen. Who takes the time to notice them, to recognize their existence, and to celebrate their humanity just because? It can be a rarity. We expect people to treat us largely with indifference, let alone prioritize us in a fleeting moment. When people do relish in our presence, grace us with the...

" Every person has a different view of another person's image. That's all perception. The character of a person, the integrity, that's who you are." Steven Alford The way we understand the world and how we situate ourselves within it is unique to our perspective. There is something both distinctly remarkable, and isolatingly unsettling about that. We are the only ones who go through what we do - in the ways that we do. Think about headaches, visibly no on else knows what when have one, but we ourselves feel an intense pain. That pain though is felt in the most literal sense by us, and us alone. There can be a sharp difference between the ways that we see ourselves and how others see us/experience us. Similarly, who we believe ourselves to be is not ho others experience us as. When asked how friends, family, or coworkers would describe us, often our answers are different than we would say about ourselves. What is the meaning of that dichotomy? If we believe...

" America is false to the past, false to the present, and solemnly binds  herself to be false to the future." Frederick Douglass The American Dream is dead. Rather it never existed. Maybe it did, but even then it was not made for everyone to be able to attain it. What's a dream if its within reach for everyone? No it was, is, and always will be reserved for a select few. And to those who don't fit the selection criteria but somehow, against all odds (*read systemic and interpersonal barriers) make it  - the narratives are co-opted to reify the propaganda that the dream is only deferred not denied. This country doesn't want us all the make it. Our society isn't built for everyone to thrive. Our perspective needs people to trounce upon, to use, to throw away as disposable. We need people to other. We need them to be different. We need there to be a distinction between us and them. That is what we are founded on - blood, the ideals of the rich white-ma...

Truth - Sometimes life seems to be good to be true. Isn't it odd how we spend so much time waiting for calamity to strike. We are constantly on the lookout for strife, hardship, and challenge. Sometimes, on rare occasions it seems (or more often if we wide our perspectives), life really can be as good as feels. Learning to capitalize on those dissipating moments is a skill many of us have little to no experience in doing successful. We have to learn how to be happy. Seems implicit but reality shows us otherwise. This is content. "The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." Thucydides I have a confession to make. I don't know how to be happy. I don't think I allow myself to be happy often enough to recognize it when I'm feeling it. I have grown accustomed to just settling for being mostly appeased but less than stellar. But as of late, I would say my post-collegiate years, I have been surrounded by happiness. I'...

Truth - Each period of life is marked by pivotal events, but possibly even more so the presence and the absence of those around us. People play such critical roles in our lives. The ways that people move in an out orbit to us truly is a synchronized performance of the most marvelous proportions. As some move closer in proximity, others retreat. There we are in the center of it all, pushing, and pulling on the heavenly bodies of those around us. What happens some come too close - are they burned in the process? What about those that or depart from our gravitational field, are they forever lost to the cosmos? How do we account for drift? "We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end." Blaise Pascal The world is a funny place. I find myself more and more moving through it and being in awe. The world is truly an elaborate labyrinth that one barely ever makes much headway in. I think of all the ways I make my world small, more m...

Truth - Each day we write our life stories. I want my story to always be one of those truly breathtaking epics of old. I want to live a life of navigation, adventure, and exploration always. I want to be challenged, pushed, and moved out of my comfort zone constantly. I want life to be exhilarating, terrifying, and shocking. I want amusement, gut-busting laughter, and surprise. I want randomness, inquiry, and mystery. I want passion, fervor, and zeal. I want it all. I want to be fulfilled and to know that I lived my life to the best of my ability. I wan to be pleased with who I am, what I did, and what I did for others. I want to be a whole person who embraces the plot twists of life. This is my story. This is my truth. This is my narrative. "Narrative identity takes part in the story's movement, in the dialectic between order and disorder." Paul Ricoeur Words cannot describe how amazed I am that this blog, this written representation of who I am as a person in my ...

Truth - law and order, when administered fairly, prevent anarchy. Society needs boundaries, rules, and regulations to avoid chaos. If the natural order of the universe is to gravitate towards disorder then humanity is diametrically opposed to the way things are. We have to give up some of our freedoms to gain protection, parameters, and oversight. That sacrifice however is supposed to come with the insurance that more often than not what we have gained will outweigh the cost of what we have lost. In a time where civil unrest regularly is part of the national conversation, this is policing. "To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time." James A. Baldwin We need law enforcement. We need authority. We need police. We need policing. We need police to to think better, do better, and be better. Police play a critical role in ensuring that our society does not denigrate into dystopian catastrophe. They are charged with...

*This is my unpublished response to   "The Year of the White Male" . Half-Assed Allies Wanted by Joseph Oteng Mention the phrases police brutality, sexual assault, or marriage equality and straight white men seem to prepare themselves for an onslaught of social justice jargon which often ends in definitive name-calling à la racist sexist homophobe. On this campus and so many others like it exists a culture rightfully concerned with social justice, inequality, and the differences that make us diversely human. College is a time where some students discover themselves, learn beyond ridged binaries, and challenge prejudiced beliefs. Others however cannot be bothered to google an identity, examine privilege, or curb biased speech let alone attend a lecture, join a discussion, or a demonstration. The excuses abound for why people don’t get social justice, don’t want to, or don’t care to. The implications, however, are burdens that no one can carry. In failing to do so,...

The 20s are all about perseverance and endurance. There is something to be said about deciding to not only do something but to follow through and see it to its end. Commitment means a lot. Promises are meant to be kept. Truths are supposed to remain true. No matter what comes your way, no matter how much the world tries to set you on fire, you can never burn if you're already beyond the flames. You're flame-resistant, non-flammable, and most of all fireproof. *This posts marks the fourth birthday of the start of this blog! Four years, 631 posts, 247,000+ pageviews and thousands of words later, I'm still writing. The question I get asked most often about this blog is what I do once I finish college. To be quite frank with you, I don't really know. I'm writing the final chapter of my college experience everyday and I'm just taking it as that, day by day. Maybe I'll stop and start a new blog when I start the next part of my life, or revamp this one. Al...