Youthful Life: X

"Our society is much more interested in information than wonder, in noise rather than silence...And I feel that we need a lot more wonder and a lot more silence in our lives" Fred Rogers There is a battle raging in our world . It's a rat race to wield the power of knowledge and truth. When knowledge is hoarded like a dragon in a cave we have to see the impact others are deprived of knowledge. It's a direct balance. Keeping people from knowing, from cultivating the tools to know, and from how to know  is cruel manipulation with devastating consequences. Should we all have the chance to know? Who deserve to know? And to know what? Do we have to know everything? More and more we are faced with these grand questions about what is right, good, just, or even equitable for every aspect of our lives, our communities, and our societies. There may not be an end all, be all, absolute answer but that does not mean a conclusion isn't worthwhile. Just because there's not a ...

"The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food." Dean Ornish Giving up on people with purpose can provide us peace. Spending time away from people who forsake us helps provide us the necessary clarity to choose to let them go. Sometimes you just don’t check-in with people and suddenly two weeks, a month, or 6 months have passed. Let it be. Resist the urge and eventually it goes away. Flimsy connections fade when not reinforced especially when no solid foundation is to be found. This is not the people we may not talk to for months or years at a time but remain bonded to steadfast. This is the people who never quite make it past the constant assurance phase, and when that affirmation is no longer provided, we question the connection or feel like its dissipated. We know the difference. We have to listen to that difference. People are not meant to be so much effort. We don't have to win people over. People are not mean...

“A friend is the hope of the heart.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson Pandemic life has radically altered or maybe made more efficient communication. Now more than ever we are made to be consistent in how we communicate lest we further our disconnection. There's something grave about getting disconnected now. Is it easier or does it feel more permanent? Somehow it just seems like the thing to do. In times past, letting go of connections friendly or otherwise seemed like a massive deal, and now it's common. We're just not that invested in one another, or the effort we're putting in to stay connected is unbalanced. That's okay. That's the reality. That's useful.  “Talking” these days is like a subscription. It starts to run out and either we have to renew by sending a text or let it lapse and never hear from one another ever again. The goal is a lifetime subscription with automatic renewal.  Instead of renewing subscriptions we don't use in others we can just let ...

"Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us - and those around us - more effectively. Look for the learning."  Louisa May Alcott We are all the main characters of our own life stories . What happens when we're not quite the protagonist and instead overrun by the supporting cast, the "Big Bad" villains, or the pervasive locale as its own character? We must be central to our own narratives AND we have to get out of own stories to realize that every single person has a story just as complex, full, and nuanced as ours. That's a bit difficult to wrap our heads around. If we are the center of our solar system with overlapping components from other celestial bodies then everyone else is also positioned as the center to their own galaxy and universes. How do we depart from our home star base to visit those of others around us? What does it take for us to get out of our own heads and to send out a s...

" People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.”  Mokokoma Mokhonoana Another week of quarantine life.  Who would have thought this would be our lives? I went on spring break from my second semester of law school, and just never went back. Suddenly I, along with the rest of the world, was sequestered at home for the foreseeable future. Each day I spend some intentional time grounding myself in reality. This physical distancing still feels surreal in some ways. More and more I'm spending more time in the virtual realities of Zoom class sessions + hangouts, Facetime calls, texts, DMs, social media, video games, and on, and on. The entire concept of limiting screentime has gone out the window. I can't quite be content living vicariously so I do my best to bridge the gap between my two realities. I'm doing what I can to make this mundane. I'm ensuring that I still feel. I'm keeping my head...

"Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're 'equally infinite.' Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too."   Fred Rogers Kenopsia - n.  - the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that’s usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet—a school hallway in the evening, an unlit office on a weekend, vacant fairgrounds—an emotional afterimage that makes it seem not just empty but hyper-empty, with a total population in the negative, who are so conspicuously absent they glow like neon signs. (Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows). This is a weird time . I feel like there's competing feelings raging inside me. I think it's worthwhile for me to share what I've been contemplating. I'm back in remote classes for the remainder of my semester of school. It's been an adventure to say the least, but in some ways I am grateful to have acce...

"Space travel is life-enhancing, and anything that's life-enhancing is worth doing. It makes you want to live forever." Ray Bradbury Space - the final frontier. Positing life as a representation of space and all its wonders has come to be a useful metaphor for understanding the world. We are all the center of our own universes, or at least we're supposed to be. Sometimes we aren't. What happens when others in our experiences are centered in our lives or we don't perceive ourselves to be in the middle of our existences? My therapist called it a sort of a blackhole effect where the position that we should be finding ourselves in is instead occupied by a force that seems nearly impossible to overcome. Usually it has to do with children and not being fully positioned in the center of their lives growing up that forces them to take care of themselves sooner than usual, essentially becoming a full-grown star early. It's gravitational pull drawing absolute...

" Self-deprecating humor and brutal honesty is a really freeing thing." Margo Price Self-deprecation has its place in our communal communicative wheelhouse. And, it's not meant to be the primary way that we share who we are. Lately, I have been noticing that some of the people around me exclusively speak about themselves in the negative, whether facetiously or not. I did not realize how pervasive it was until I started paying closer attention. Right off the bat it's straight to the self-deprecation. That's it. All I know about some people is the things they have downplayed as insignificant, and all the ways that they are inadequate (by some arbitrary standard). I don't actually know who they are because what they are communicating, whether purposefully or by force of habit, is an incomplete blooper reel.  Moderate self-deprecation communicates self-knowledge, endears, and encourages others to loosen up. Toxic self-deprecation articulates an unhealthy s...