Youthful Life: X

"You don't get older, you get better" Shirley Bassey Birthdays are these odd days that remain seared into my mind's eye representing this arbitrarily significant repeating 24 hour span of my life. I can remember almost all my birthdays and each one remains important, even when it didn't go according to plan. There is this surreal aspect to your birthday coming around. It's a demarcated day dedicated to the celebration of you. For one day the world does seem to revolve around you. People come out of the woodwork, well-wishes pour, and suddenly you're the center of attention. It's as if the regular rules of the world are suspended. I don't know, there's something exciting about it but simultaneously it seems disingenuous. I want people to care about me year round, and to be able to articulate that consistently, not just on the special occasion of the day I was born. It's wonderful, and I appreciate it but I want that same kind of energy ...

"Comparison is an act of violence against the self." Iyanla Vanzant For people that live in a prolific society toting the ideals of individualism, bootstrap theory, or meritocracy we sure do find ourselves spending an exorbitant amount of time comparing ourselves to others. It's completely the antithesis of one of our most espoused values, and yet we are made to do so daily. Arguably, comparison is the root of much of our despair. We want things; we want to have what others have; we want to be like others because we compare ourselves to them. We think, why not me, instead of why am I where I am? It is a total disregard for our unique talents, experiences, and contributions to the world in favor of debilitating jealousy, intangible goals, and irrational aspirations. We circumvent the massive factors in play that give some people access to certain resources and opportunities, or the ability to do things that we cannot. Some people are set up for "success" (...

" The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment." Tony Robbins   I think I have commitment issues . The entire idea of permanence sends shivers down my spine. It just seems so ... final  - you know? I have spent my entire life always moving on. Everything I have done has always had an expiration date. It was always going to get better because I was going to leave at some point. High school and all its social clique induced anxiety ended, college and its adventures in pretentiousness and depravity ended, grad school zoomed on by, and you get the point. Now I'm in this phase of my life where things could be permanent if I wanted them to be. There is this new possibility that I could stay, that I could choose to be here, and to do so indefinitely. People around me are getting engaged, buying houses, having children, etc. and then there's me still waiting to move on, like I have always done. I don't think I know how to do anything else. Those...