Youthful Life: X

“Everyone longs to be loved. And the greatest thing we can do is to let people know that they are loved and capable of loving.” Mr. Rogers I am a certified loverboy. I am a romantic. I am believer in the all powerful nature of love. Never have I ever been in love. When I started writing this blog I was 17 years-old, and now I am 30. What a life that has been lived and one with so much left to experience. There is so much discourse about how love, relationships, dating, etc. have changed as generations take the helm of those experiences and the introduction of technology both in dating apps, and social media has radically changed our access to people and information about them. Is it supposed to be easier? Has social media and the endless barrage of swipes, taps, likes, messages, etc. changed our love lives for the better or has it made us gutted connections leaving vapid exchanges in their place? To be this age and to not had that seemingly major human experience can be anxiety-induci...

"A wkward' is a ubiquitous teen word to denote socially unsanctioned behavior. It usually implies first- or secondhand embarrassment when you or a friend step outside the rules. Awkward doesn't sound overtly judgmental or negative; it's deliberately vague." Mary H.K. Choi I'm awkward . I'm nervous. I sweat a whole lot. I talk to myself way too much. I'm constantly in my own head trying to appear comfortable on the outside but I'm internally screaming. Why am I so awkward? Do other people notice how awkward I am? What can I do to be less ... well - awkward? These are the questions that play over and over in my head. I don't know what to do with my hands. I'm not really relaxed but I'm hoping other people perceive me to be. What should I say? When is my moment? Will anyone notice me? Does anyone care whether I'm here? Why does this look so easy for everyone else? Why not me? Social awkwardness is this self-induced purgatory of mo...

" America is false to the past, false to the present, and solemnly binds  herself to be false to the future." Frederick Douglass The American Dream is dead. Rather it never existed. Maybe it did, but even then it was not made for everyone to be able to attain it. What's a dream if its within reach for everyone? No it was, is, and always will be reserved for a select few. And to those who don't fit the selection criteria but somehow, against all odds (*read systemic and interpersonal barriers) make it  - the narratives are co-opted to reify the propaganda that the dream is only deferred not denied. This country doesn't want us all the make it. Our society isn't built for everyone to thrive. Our perspective needs people to trounce upon, to use, to throw away as disposable. We need people to other. We need them to be different. We need there to be a distinction between us and them. That is what we are founded on - blood, the ideals of the rich white-ma...

Truth - Complete and utter silence is a rarity in this world. We spend our lives constantly on the go and take little to no time to just be, to be present, to be real, to be one with the world instead of trying to master in. There's so much noise in lives. Distractions abound, pressures build, and stress is constantly weighing us down. There always seems to be more that we can do, but to what end? When does it stop? Will it ever? There has to be some place for us to be alone with ourselves. Where is your sanctuary?   "Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character." James Russell Lowell     There seems to be this generational fear of being alone. It's this oddly striking thing others say to me. "I don't like being alone. I'm afraid that I'm going to end up by myself. I'm bored out of my mind." I realize that we go through this abrupt change where our environments shift. We grow up surrounded by p...

Truth - Sometimes the biggest obstacle standing in our way can be none other than us ourselves. What if happiness is a conscious choice to be positive, show gratitude, and demonstrate kindness to others? Regardless of whatever circumstances we might find ourselves in there still remains an element of choice in how we conduct ourselves. It can mean all the difference. The only thing we can ever control in life is ourselves. If we stand in our own way, the only one we have to blame is us. This is sabotage.   "I think that sometimes love gets in the way of itself - you know, love interrupts itself. We want things so much that we sabotage them." Jack White I have a confession to make. I am someone who self-sabotages. There, I said it. What's even worst about is that I am self-aware and know why I do it when I'm doing it, and yet I still continue to purposefully demolish potential relationships before they have a chance to solidify. I use humor as a defense mechani...

Truth - The values of the world we live in have changed over time. Things that used to be commonly understood as mundane now seem out of the ordinary. There are no longer such stringent standards that we hold one another to. Our society is more individualistic than ever before. It has its benefits, some gnarly side effects, and a whole lot of ambiguous gray area in between. What ever happened to predictability? Now we never know what to expect. Forget about us, and don't even get me started on trust - this is commitment issues. " There is a constant feeling in our culture that we might be missing out on something better, therefore, we rarely commit to a decision that we can’t back out of if something better comes along." Rhett Smith "There's a higher form of happiness in commitment. I'm counting on it." Claire Forlani When did flakiness become socially acceptable or at least a common practice? Left and right people just don't show up to enga...

Truth - Nobody stays young forever. While we may physically age who we are on the inside does so at an entirely different rate. Age does not necessarily equate wisdom or experience. Many a person has been born, lived, and passed all within the minute confines of the microcosms, communities, and insulated bubbles we exist in. Is that living? It depends on what your definition of life is, besides who are we to judge the lives of others lest we welcome the same scrutiny ourselves. The spirit of youth of is alive within each and every one of us if only we allow it to be carefree, adventurous, and genuine - long live the youth.   "Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life." Samuel Ullman Ageism is prejudice , bias, and discrimination based on age or perceived age. All those t...

Truth - There's a big difference between being in love, and loving someone or something. Oftentimes the two seem to conflated as one in the same but there is a nuanced distinction to be made. Love is not just a feeling but also action, thought, and belief. Love is the ways in which you treat certain people because of and in spite of the love you have for them. Love is more than picturesque imaginations of romantic-comedy style dates, bouquets of overpriced sweetly fragrant crimson red roses, or decadent boxes of silky smooth assortments of chocolates. Love is dynamic. Love is powerful. Love is timeless. Love is an unwavering belief in someone else. So ask yourself, do you love love, or love someone? "True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen"  Francois de la Rochefoucauld The millennial generation has garnered a reputation for our apparent lack of commitment to just about anything and everything. We're critiques as being incapabl...

Truth  - Connections are what make us human. We have this innate longing to be with, to know, and to be around other people. We are not meant to be alone. It could be argued that our modern day communities, neighborhoods, and social structures are nothing more than dressed up tribes. It's what we do. We group together, gather,  and commune. We strive to find others like us or at least find some commonality amongst strangers. Fear of difference has powerful ramifications (no need to outline the cycle of oppression here, I'll save it for another post) but what is even more monumental is when we are able to overcome that fear and unite. Who could ever take down the network? "We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”   William James The normalized American life cycle really is rather peculiar. Think about it. As an infant and as a childhood you spend as much time with your famil...