Youthful Life: X

" The failures that you beat yourself up over are the ones where you experienced warning signs and can connect the dots backwards after the fact." Caroline Ghosn Searching, yearning, looking for a sign. In the world around us, and the people that occupy it, we look for signs. Some kind of guidance, advice on who to be, or just affirmation that we are doing what we should be. There's this pressure, learned, and applied liberally that tells us there's both a right and a wrong way to exist. There's a values judgement applied to us and who we are. There is an assessment that we are constantly placing on ourselves, and onto others, and them unto us as to the righteousness of what we do. We look for signs to make sense of what goes on around us, about why the world is working the way it is, and about who we're meant to be. Signs have this power to both obscure, and to provide clarity when we seemingly need it most. Signs are all open to our interpretation. We ...

"The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it." Chris Pine Reframing makes the picture different. Reframing is a powerful tool that we have in our arsenals to view our experiences in the ways that we dictate. Reframing let's us craft the narrative, and the story we tell ourselves about our own lives. So much of our lives can be dictated by fear. Fear is paralysis. Fear is a blockade. Fear is holding us back. Fear is not a way to live. Fear prevents us from living. Oh, what our lives could be if we lived in spite of fear. Fear, apprehension, nervousness, and all their dastardly cronies that prevent us for the fullness of life can sometimes be overcome through reframing. We can take a hardship presented to us, and make it small. We can take it is a challenge that will benefit us in the process. We can turn it into something of our own creation. It's taking ...

" A brand is the set of expectations, memories, stories and relationships that, taken together, account for a consumer's decision to choose one product or service over another."  Seth Godin Every single person we connect with experiences us differently. They engage with our "brand." Like the onslaught of obnoxiously intrusive ads (our phones are definitely entrenched in subliminal espionage) sprawled across social media, we are constantly "marketing" ourselves to others - ideally in less rapacious ways. What happens when we treat ourselves like a personal brand? How does that change the ways that we carry ourselves, who we portray ourselves as, and the story we seek to tell about who and how we are? Branding is about storytelling. Each and every one of us has a story worth sharing/experiencing. If we don't tell our story, we cannot expect others to know, inquire about, or honor it. Knowing our brand means taking stock of what we've ...

"Too many of us are hung up on what we don't have, can't have, or won't ever have. We spend too much energy being down, when we could use that same energy — if not less of it — doing, or at least trying to do, some of the things we really want to do." Terry McMillan We cannot convince someone to like us ; more importantly we should not have to do so. People should want us, as we are, because of who we are. We should have not sell ourselves, demand recognition, or pine for attention. Let go of people who never reached out to you, those who never attempted to catch you, and those who stood idle as you took a risk. People should be able to see our inherent worth, and to value it as priceless. Anyone who needs convincing is unworthy of your essence, time, energy, or effort. We have to stop wasting our time on those who have no intention of choosing us. Why do we seek the acknowledgement, permission, acceptance, etc. of others knowing that it will never be ours? Wh...

"Part of adulthood is searching for the people who understand you." Hanya Yanagihara Adulthood can be lonely. In the pursuit of our passions we often sacrifice connection to others, but at what cost. Life is about connection - relationship, proximity, care, love. Without those things what is the purpose of life, and yet still we find ourselves adrift, aloof, and away from all those we've forged connections too before. We're all looking for something, but what could we be searching for that continues to evade us? We are looking for those who understand us, and even more so to be understood. We want to be around people get us, experience us the way we want them to, see us for who we are, and celebrate us in our imperfect actuality. We want those who want to hear our life stories from cover to cover, who will take notes in the margins, and resonate with the characters. We strive for people who see us transparently and yet remain despite what they see. We want peo...

" Every person has a different view of another person's image. That's all perception. The character of a person, the integrity, that's who you are." Steven Alford The way we understand the world and how we situate ourselves within it is unique to our perspective. There is something both distinctly remarkable, and isolatingly unsettling about that. We are the only ones who go through what we do - in the ways that we do. Think about headaches, visibly no on else knows what when have one, but we ourselves feel an intense pain. That pain though is felt in the most literal sense by us, and us alone. There can be a sharp difference between the ways that we see ourselves and how others see us/experience us. Similarly, who we believe ourselves to be is not ho others experience us as. When asked how friends, family, or coworkers would describe us, often our answers are different than we would say about ourselves. What is the meaning of that dichotomy? If we believe...

Truth - People behave differently when they perceive themselves to be under observation. This phenomenon is called the Hawthorne effect. If our lives are all based on our interactions with others and the world around us, then who are we? If who we are changes based on the context of where we are or who we find ourselves, the question becomes, are we ever actually being ourselves? Maybe the question is rhetorical, in that we can only ever be ourselves? Regardless, there's a lot to unpack here. This is the big interview. "I sometimes find that in interviews you learn more about yourself than the person learned about you." William Shatner It's been funny for me the amount of advice, the vast majority of it unsolicited, that I've received ever since I started my job search process. People have truly come out of the wood work to give me their opinions on how I should approach every aspect of the process. Most, if not all, of it has had benign intentions but ...

Truth - Sometimes have to break apart to come together, and other times things may not come together at all. Divided - a word that has been used time and time again to describe the United States as a society. Is it an accurate adjective ... perhaps, at times, but then again the appropriateness of it depends on your perspective. What does it mean to be American? Who gets to claim the moniker? Are we a nation divided or has nothing actual changed? The saying goes divided we fall, united we stand but what if division just might be the thing that saves us from ourselves? "Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare, social justice can never be attained." Helen Keller Division is objective ly not a bad thing. It in and of itself have no value attached to it. It's our viewpoints and our emotions that assign those values to it. Division let us separate out our issues and also gives space for us to make ...

Truth - Reality is relative. The ways that we experience the world vary greatly. It is a testament to people being given the same knowledge or facts, and coming up with different conclusions. Absolute truth may not be quite so absolute. In the wake of a truly dramatic campaign season, the different realities we exist in has once again diverged. The divide from person to person seems to grow. Some are relishing in this brave new world, and others are struck with mortal fear. What thing that holds to be true is that no matter what or who we are, our lived experiences are valid. This is our Dys(U)topia.   "Perhaps the greatest utopia would be if we could all realize that no utopia is possible; no place to run, no place to hide, just take care of business here and now." Jack Carroll Hope and peril . Dreams and nightmares. Awe and terror. This is the tale of two Americas and the multiplicity of realities in between. The day after an election is nothing but an almagation of a ...