Youthful Life: X

"Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of you’re not alone.” Brene Brown I saw a tweet the other day that stopped me in my tracks and made my jaw drop. How could someone so succinctly summarize this seemingly convoluted concept I had rattling around in my head. She said, "Americans are really good at acute compassion, but pretty bad at chronic empathy. We without questions, haul strangers out a raging flood, give blood, give shelter. But we are lousy at legislating safe, sustainable communities, at eldercare, at accessible streets and buildings. It is the long-term work that makes the disasters less damaging. But we don't want to give to the needy, we want to save the endangered. We don't like being care workers, we want to be heroes. The world does not need more heroes.  We need more care." Sigrid Joy Ellis We struggle with sustained care. We want to ...

"The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it." Chris Pine Reframing makes the picture different. Reframing is a powerful tool that we have in our arsenals to view our experiences in the ways that we dictate. Reframing let's us craft the narrative, and the story we tell ourselves about our own lives. So much of our lives can be dictated by fear. Fear is paralysis. Fear is a blockade. Fear is holding us back. Fear is not a way to live. Fear prevents us from living. Oh, what our lives could be if we lived in spite of fear. Fear, apprehension, nervousness, and all their dastardly cronies that prevent us for the fullness of life can sometimes be overcome through reframing. We can take a hardship presented to us, and make it small. We can take it is a challenge that will benefit us in the process. We can turn it into something of our own creation. It's taking ...

Truth - Siblings are the best gift your parents can ever give you. A question I often as people is whether they are an only child or not. As someone who often gets mistaken as one, the question gives some insight. I always follow up as to how close they are with their siblings, an even more telling answer. Everyone's familial situations are different. Deeply messed up stuff happens, and the people who are related to us can be awful. When families have healthy relationships though, the results can be truly awe-inspiring. You never know joy until you become an uncle. "When I was young, an eccentric uncle decided to teach me how to lie. Not, he explained, because he wanted me to lie, but because he thought I should know how it's done so I would recognize when I was being lied to." Brian Eno Being an uncle is by far my favorite personal identity. Beyond being a son to wonderful parents, and brother to four of the most dynamic people I have ever known is something ...

Truth - We are all connected. Take a second to pause and reread that statement again. I said we are all  connected. But what does that actually mean? On so many different levels, people all around the world - beyond social media or complicated internationalized market economies but rather the metaphysical notion of the human condition. It is both possible for us all to be different and yet the similar/the same in so many ways. It's both our adherences to rules, regulations, borders, governments, etc. that have separated, segregated, and stratified us. We have come to believe that we are better than our neighbors near and far. In doing so, we have missed out on the opportunity to connect via that common humanity. It's time to reclaim our worldwide community - it's time to go global.  "The differences between people need not act as barriers that wound, harm and drive us apart. Rather, these very differences among cultures and civilizations should be valued as manif...

Truth - No two perspectives are the same. We all experience the world in profoundly unique ways. That distinct viewpoint is part of what makes us all so special. No one takes in the world the way that we do. Nobody knows the things that go through our heads. No one else has all the information that we hold. Even more so, the ways in which we understand ourselves can be drastically different than how others know us to be. The narrative of our nature may be one thing to us and completely different to others. The catch to that sentiment is that both vantage points are equally as valid. Reconciling the two may be a lifelong process, but those that do so become legendary. “Youth is the most suitable age to enjoy the life completely or to work diligently for the life, what you decide makes your rest of the life ordinary or legendary respectively.” Amit Kalantri The dichotomy between who we understand ourselves to be versus who we actually are can sometimes be a sharp contrast. We ...

Truth - There is absolutely no place like home. With adulthood however comes this nonstop striving to make place somewhere else. The cliché is home is where the heart is, but what happens if you are unable to put your heart anywhere else. Home is what you make of it and that can be anywhere or with anyone. Home is a haven, fortress, and safe house. It's where you go to get away from all of life's problem or at least get the sound advice to potentially tackle them. How do you recreate that mythical place? How do you make a brand new homefront? " The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." Maya Angelou There really is not a straight forward way of going about it. What I realized as I wrote that initial question is that the word recreate was problematic. Remaking, recreating,  and reminiscing all begin with that important prefix "re-" meaning again or back. There can only be one original, that...

Truth - Sometimes the hardest person to love can be yourself. Some people fall in and out of love each day with other people. Some people find love and never let it go. Some people let love consume them in the best ways possible. Why then is it difficult for us to love the people we see in the mirror? Why do we struggle to embrace ourselves, our bodies, spirits, and souls? What prevents us from giving ourselves the same kind of love we demonstrate towards others? Isn't it funny how we can show love towards others but are unable to do so for ourselves? This is self(ie) love.   "The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”  Steve Maroboli Recently I was a browsing through a Buzzfeed Listicle  - Words for Emotions You Never Thought Anyone Else Ever Felt  and my inner adoration for words and typography shown through as I was struck by each one. One in particular, altschmerz, stood out to me. It's a noun that means...

Truth - Diversity is nothing more than the recognition of difference. It's a word that has lot the entirety of its meaning which wasn't much to begin with. What people often don't realize is that difference works both ways. It's problematic and subversive to label some people as diverse, different, or other but to leave the caller as an unnamed norm. People are not just some variations on a standard version, they are inherently valid in and of themselves. What happens when diversity goes from appreciation to appropriation and somewhere even darker? What if slavery never went away but rather evolved and took on new forms? What if we're still buying, trading, and selling people on the black market.   " Racism oppresses its victims, but also binds the oppressors, who sear their consciences with more and more lies until they become prisoners of those lies. They cannot face the truth of human equality because it reveals the horror of the injustices they commit....

Truth - Sometimes we get lost trying to find our way home. We need someone else to be the voice that calls out to us. We need others to show us the way and illuminate the waymarkers that guide us where we're supposed to be. We require assistance from those around us and may or may not be aware of their influence and impact on us. Just as there are those that move us forward in profound ways, it's imperative to understand that we also have the capacity to and are obligated to do the same, if not for them, then others. Lighthouses shine their light and guide you to dock. "A lighthouse is not interested in who gets its light! It just gives without thinking! Giving light is its nature!" Mehmet Murat Ildan   The entire concept of a lighthouse has always fascinated me. They cannot give light to themselves but cast their light far out. The area around them may always be steeped in darkness but they drive forth light. Back in the day, it used to be a sea-faring l...

Truth - Darkness is only the absence of light. Think about it. Inherently, wherever there is light, there can never be darkness but also the inverse stands true. Light and dark are mutually exclusive ways of being and seeing. Take your shadow for example, it's just us blocking a light source (usually the sun)  right before it hits the ground. Mind you, that light has travelled lightyears only to be thwarted by our clumsiness but that's besides the point. There is absolute importance in carrying your light with you wherever you go, if not others but also yourself. This the dark side of the moon. " Those are the same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us, and each other." Sojourner Truth The world was infatuated this week with a blood red Supermoon and simultaneous eclipse. Space is something that will both fascinates and scares me. Ther...