Youthful Life: X

"Our society is much more interested in information than wonder, in noise rather than silence...And I feel that we need a lot more wonder and a lot more silence in our lives" Fred Rogers What a time to be alive. Those words have been truer than in this current sociopolitical moment. Feels like we're on two juxtaposed timelines. One where folx are continuing to go about their lives as if nothing has changed, and another that is nearly eschatological and dystopian. Everything is normal and simultaneously it's not. What the actual hell is going on? How we both know but also not really know. Maybe it's because the threat that we're facing as a collective populous is not quite visible in the ways that we traditionally consider dangerous. In fact, it's microscopic, subtle, and obscure. It's at once nowhere to be seen and absolutely everywhere. How do we escape the thing that's all around us and beyond our control. Control. There's that word...

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." Ernest Hemingway There are people that love going out, and there those that absolutely hate it. I'm somewhere towards the middle of those two extremes. I have this tumultuous relationship with going out, with trusting other people, and with being able to relax enough to actually enjoy myself. I'm uptight. I like things to be planned  - complete with an itinerary. I flail against spontaneity. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert, partially controlling, or inherently wary. Maybe it's because I've never felt welcome/included in spaces where rowdy young people reveled. Maybe because my biggest worry is about getting into trouble, especially with law enforcement, and being on high alert at all times. Who knows, it's probably a mixture of all three and more. Either way, there are so many factors that derail my attempts to thrive in the vibrancy of the young adult social lands...