Posts

Flawed

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"I discovered that my insecurities and my flaws were things that I actually need to embrace, and I let them become my superpowers." Skylar Grey

Is it just me or does anyone else sabotage their relationships before they have the chance to become anything meaningful? I don't really know why I'm like this, or maybe I do, but just have never had the gumption to actually say it out loud. Deep down, I don't think I deserve love for a multitude of reasons but mainly because I have so much fear of being unlovable that it actually manifests itself in me trying to embody that. What I mean to say is whenever I meet someone that I have the potential to like I find something about them, whether it be a character trait, quirk, or something else about them, and I fixate on it. It's often a minute detail but the way my mind goes into overdrive essentially hyperbolizing the thing I've latched on it is truly a wonder of the most dastardly proportions. It could be anything a…

Outgrowth

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"Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc., at times before they're worn out and times - and this is the worst of all - before we have new ones." George C. Lichtenberg



Maybe it was because of all that I experienced but I don't have the same nostalgia that I see so many of my friends do for high school or college. I have never wanted to go back. I can pinpoint specific people that I still think about and that I care for but besides that there is no longing for me to return from whence I came. Even in the past year I've had multiple opportunities to visit my alma mater and I turned them down. I think I decided that I would never return there. Too much happened and I'm still processing it all three years later. What I mean to say is I have more than outgrown the place. I know for me there has been nothing more me to take from there. I took all that I could, learned from it, and went on my way. That's what I h…

Liberation

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"America is false to the past, false to the present, and solemnly binds  herself to be false to the future." Frederick Douglass

The American Dream is dead. Rather it never existed. Maybe it did, but even then it was not made for everyone to be able to attain it. What's a dream if its within reach for everyone? No it was, is, and always will be reserved for a select few. And to those who don't fit the selection criteria but somehow, against all odds (*read systemic and interpersonal barriers) make it - the narratives are co-opted to reify the propaganda that the dream is only deferred not denied. This country doesn't want us all the make it. Our society isn't built for everyone to thrive. Our perspective needs people to trounce upon, to use, to throw away as disposable. We need people to other. We need them to be different. We need there to be a distinction between us and them. That is what we are founded on - blood, the ideals of the rich white-male elite, and …

UnDateable

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Truth - The dating landscape has changed drastically in the path few decades. The ways that people are getting together, why they're doing it, and how long they stay way varies more and more. The notion of traditionalism that centers heteronormative coupling may be alive and well but the normalized narrative has received quite a few retoolings, edits, and both compatible and not-so-compatible counternarratives. The reality is some folx have partners, other don't - that's okay. There are still ways in which the former relegates those "without" as (dun, dun, dun) undateable. 

"Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.”  Mandy Hale


I'm undateable. There I said it. At the same time I'm also the "ideal" person. Body type, height, weight, smile, fashion sense, gainful employment, domesticity (…

Black

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I don't know what to say. I know exactly what I want to say. I am constantly on the verge of tears. I shake uncontrollably, I panic constantly, and I am paranoid. Racial battle fatigue is the traumatic aftermath of  never-ending psychological warfare. I teeter in this obscurity of pretend bliss and mortal fear. I exist only in the marginalia. Outsider, other, thug, brotha, criminal, savage, animal, subhuman. Am I a human being? Am I here right now? God where are you? Why did you do this to me? Why am I like this? My skin, my melanin, my culture, my language, my nose, my lips, my teeth - my body, broken, battered, beaten. Here I am, do you know me? Am I one of your children? Why have you forsaken me? I lay hear at your feet, begging, pleading, praying, that you will hear my cries. My literal cries. My screams of horror. My tears of sorrow. My heart that never stops beating as if to escape from my chest, from its cage, from the compounds where they used to keep us, from captivity, f…

Agency

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Truth - We should all be feminists. For the sake of the world and creating the best reality possible, we must prioritize dismantling the patriarchal system we have been indoctrinated into. Everyone and I mean absolutely everyone has a stake in the fate of womxn across all diversities and intersections of identity. The liberation of womxn is inherent to the emancipation of all from rigid gender roles, societal expectations, and adverse stereotypes that prevent people by from reaching their full potential. Agency is the ability to choose, and to choose for yourself. Feminism is about dynamic agency in all aspects of life.

"Feminism is hated because women are hated. Anti-feminism is a direct expression of misogyny; it is the political defense of women hating." Andrea Dworkin

I am a feminist because people should be able to have choice in all aspects of life. Freedom is choice and to be so without the bondage of a world order that demands restriction, complacency, and success at t…

Content

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Truth - Sometimes life seems to be good to be true. Isn't it odd how we spend so much time waiting for calamity to strike. We are constantly on the lookout for strife, hardship, and challenge. Sometimes, on rare occasions it seems (or more often if we wide our perspectives), life really can be as good as feels. Learning to capitalize on those dissipating moments is a skill many of us have little to no experience in doing successful. We have to learn how to be happy. Seems implicit but reality shows us otherwise. This is content.

"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." Thucydides

I have a confession to make. I don't know how to be happy. I don't think I allow myself to be happy often enough to recognize it when I'm feeling it. I have grown accustomed to just settling for being mostly appeased but less than stellar. But as of late, I would say my post-collegiate years, I have been surrounded by happiness. I've found it ha…