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Breadcrumbs

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“Rejection is inevitable. The goal is to minimize it.” Keith Grafman

Language is a constantly evolving sociopolitical construct. It changes with the locale, culture, and context in which it is used. Words take on new meaning. The world of relationships and romance has been revolutionized itself with the onset of digital mediums through which to communicate. With it though has been borne a potentially toxic culture of miscommunication, micro-communication, and no communication at all. No one really knows how people will utilize inventions, and oftentimes users dictate the uses of products more than creators do. People are both predictable and simultaneously an unsolvable enigma of the most epic proportions. They exist both in the centerfold and the marginalia. They are creatures of habit and wildcards played to disrupt the flow of things. People can be cruel regardless of intent just as easily as they can be kind. Time for a vocabulary lesson, this time on breadcrumbing, windowshopping,…

Time

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"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." Barack Obama

The start to a new year means inevitably the promising of resolutions that will most likely not be kept. The idea behind the tradition is noble but in practice rarely goes according to plan. Maybe it's because the declaration is arbitrary, or because its easier to fall into old habits than it is to make new ones. There's still merit to resolutions though but the most effective ones often are limited in their scope, or else involved a mindset shift. It's the difference between committing to a paradigm shift versus a one-off goal. One of mine this year is to be more mindful about my time and how I spent it. This is the year I reclaim my time. Time might be a social construct but it's one that guides the parameters of our realities and how we experience said reality. Where we spend in time is a direct…

Choice

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"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose -  and commit myself to - what is best for me." Paulo Coelho

Relationship in all its forms are about choice - intentional choice to be in community, to remain in connection, and to maintain contact. Relationships means to choose someone over, and over, and over again - time after time, without fail. When we do don’t choose people that is us effectively losing them, whether it be through choosing others, or permitting a conscious/unconscious uncoupling. Either way choice has to be an active decision, one that requires effort, sustainment, and commitment. Choice must be demonstrated. Choice must be renewed periodically. Choice must be refreshed consistently. Choice is personal. It's individual, nuanced, and specific. When we choose without gravity, sincerity, or gumption, those are the choices that are easiest to give up on. When we choose without the full force of our hearts, spirits, and souls there is n…

Wonderment

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"The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe" Lawrence Kutner

Kids are truly awe-inspiring people. There's something about them and their fresh perspectives on the world that adults just don't quite get. The ways they understand or at least approach understanding the world has just as much nuance as it does randomness. When we take the time to pay attention there is much to be learned. I had the opportunity to spend a few a days taking care of two year-old nephew, affectionately referred to as the Little Prince by me, myself, and I. In that time I took so much from spending time with him, other than reaffirming how truly phenomenal he is as a person, just the applicable things he's learning/being taught and their implications for my life is an adult-in-progress. Patience, patience, patience. In a world where I am constantly moving, zooming, speeding, to an fro I had to adjust to his pace. The few moments I found myself getting frustrated with his litt…

Lesson

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"Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you?" Walt Whitman

Another year has come and gone, I cannot believe it. This year was definitely one to remember in a variety of ways. This posts marks the 7th birthday of this blog. 812 posts, 1.2M words, and just over 425K pageviews - it has been an absolute journey. I have learned a great deal through writing, and having this space to process through my experiences, what I glean from others, and the world in general has been remarkable. I cannot believe that I have stuck with this for so long, and even more so that I have no plans of stopping any time soon. This blog has meant so much to me. I don't really know who I would be without it to look back it, reflect, and see who I have become, and who I want to be. I am immensely grateful for this space to ju…

Elite

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"What's wrong with being elitist if you are trying to encourage people to join the elite rather than being exclusive?" Richard Dawkins


I'm an elitist. There I said it. Being in a place where I have an even wider variety of people with differing experiences, life paths, belief systems, etc. has made me realize just how much my access to education and corresponding "pedigree" has impacted me. The way I talk, what I talk about, how I carry myself, why I dress the way I do, and everything in between communicates I am a product of an immense amount of privilege. There's nothing implicitly wrong with that per say but it can easily become a problem in snobbishness, snootiness, and unappealing arrogance. I don't think I'm better than other people but pretending I'm like other people is a falsity for us all. I have had a rare life experience with a lot of opportunity. I think for me it shows up most when people are intimidated by me, have difficulty c…

Trained

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“Nothing will work unless you do.” Maya Angelou

Failure is a natural part of life but it's something that I have spent much of my life trying to avoid. For someone who spouts that he's invested in constantly learning and growing, I have not been challenged as of late. Then I was wrangled into working out. My biggest defense tactics have always been avoidance and humor, and this new endeavor had me deploying both. I have never worked out a day in my life. I have always been kind of scrawny and oddly disproportionate all over with the abnormal wingspan, massive feet, and exaggerated facial features. It has taken me pretty much the duration of my life to even to begin to be comfortable with my skin, let alone the rest of body in all its oddly shaped lackluster glory. Working out absolutely terrified me. I was self-conscious, constantly uncomfortable, and most of all felt stupid for not knowing anything that everyone else seemed to already now how to do. What kind of 24 year old ma…