The 20s are all about making it through your days. College is tough as hell. Honestly, if you're a traditionally matriculated student it may very well be the most difficult thing you have ever encountered/experienced. There's times when things just pile up, pressure builds, and finally explode. Sometimes you need a good release. When the magma pours out, the lava cools, and the cloud settles in the catastrophic disastrous chaos that is life, you reach a new place. One that may be forever changed, but soon bound to be boisterously vivacious with new life. You're at ashfall.
Looking back at last week I realized just how out of control it actually was. I truly do not understand how I made it through. Definitely should have succumb to the temptations of accepting defeat and giving up, but nothing of the sort occurred. I guess the will to succeed, persevere and survive is just way too strong. In thinking of what to title this post I thought back to my art history class Monday where we watched a Doctor Who (I know nothing of the British cult-hit) clip in which Pompeii erupted with a juxtaposed overlay of the epic Coldplay song. I remembered I quote I had seen on Pinterest (my entire future home board is suburban manors, preppy boys bedrooms, and luxury vehicles #millennial), "Good is what is left after chaos." It all resonated with me. After something extreme has occurred what's left is almost always good. Maybe it's because you've just experienced something negatively impactful or possibly it's just that good, either way you take what you can get. Know that after you have gone through something significant that only good can come your way. You're overdue for some positivity to head to you. Something benign is on its way. There's a sort of dastardly twisted peace about the people of Pompeii and their ash covered bodies. Everything would have been deathly silent, not a sound would be heard, and you would at the same time be alone and surrounded. It's like walking through a cemetery. You pay homage to the place, bask in reverence of it, and then find comfort in the staidness of it all. It's cathartic and once you have purged all the pressures and released the tension, you move on. Good is bound for you. You made it through ashfall.

Self-care is so very important and I do not know how I can express that in a way that will strike a cord with you. It's imperative that you take time for yourself and do things to recover if not daily then weekly. You need whatever it is that gives you personal peace and brings you back to a calm state. You have to give yourself time to recover from the hardships we endure daily. You have to build yourself back up when life tries to wipe you out. You do what you have to do to make sure you yourself is okay. For once, forget everyone else and focus on you. Do what you do best and then reward yourself by doing something for yourself. Ashfall may signify an end but it also marks a new beginning. Embrace yours.

What do I do for self care? I'm a TV fanatic so I watch my favorite shows. This fall I'm tuned in to Happyland, How to Get Away with Murder, Red Band Society, the Flash, and Manhattan Love Story. I love to write and find it so helpful to just express myself and let it all out, so blogging is my go to. Social media can be an outlet for me to vegetate. I thoroughly enjoying listening to other people share personal stories and doing so is a reminder for me as well to do so. Cooking brings me serenity, and making other people happy by providing them a meal is one of the best things I get to do. Lastly, crafting in all it's form whether digitally or with physical supplies let's me focus and not think about life for a while.
 francisco negroni
Recap: Friday was classes and a late afternoon meeting before heading downtown to treat myself to cake pops and miniature cupcakes from My Little Cupcake. I went to the barber to received a haircut before walking in super late to an alumni networking event. I made some connections and it gave my some clarity about my future. Saturday was an afternoon spent with Zach & Dom lollygagging with throwback TV (Twitches Too & Arthur) before I went to the men's club rugby game. One of my newest fraternity brothers plays so I was able to check it out, support him, and connect with another brother, Jack, at the same time. I actually really enjoyed it. The camaraderie between the players on each team was so apparent and the interdependence was awesome to see. I went to the Black Student Union's "Soul Food Social" event and helped serve, enjoyed amazing music/dance performances, and powerfully moving spoken word pieces from some community members.

Sunday was my 1in4 Men's Education outreach on sexual assault and dismantling rape culture. It was an intense by productive eight hours of learning techniques, sharing opinions, and getting to know our small group. Who would have thought I would find even more men to connect with link up with? I finished Sunday with a fraternity chapter meeting filled with way too much laughter and whole heck of a lot of smiles. Monday was more class and meetings before a double grocery trip run and a long night of catching up on homework. Tuesday rolled around it was a busy day of conferencing, class, running errands, cleaning my apartment, delivering care packages & birthday presents, and hosting guests for dinner. I met up with my buddy Cam (from SESP) to check in before visiting Sam (from RHA) for a belated birthday parceling out. For some reason I was in a hugging mood (it was that kind of day) but it was good to see him. Time has a way of ashing over follies if you give it long enough. Even the General almost had me rethinking his embargo from my life (not quite). I had some of my favorite people over in Kyle and Max for dinner, random life questions, and much needed laughter. It's going to be a good week. This weekend, my best friend Jeff and brother #2, Eugene, both are coming to visit. No one from my family has ever done so I'm more than ready. The ashfall is clearing out, it's all good from here.

My blog post question for the day is ... what do you do for self-care? I'm all about that TV life. I will make time for it even if I don't have time. I'd rather watch TV then sleep, that's how serious it is.


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