Beyond Belief

The 20s are all about being okay with not knowing. For some people, not having their future planned out down to the minute can be gravely terrifying while others relish in the spontaneity of their lives. Often the world of young people is split in two seemingly diverging paths - one that leads to jobs and family, and another that entails traveling on a whims' notice. The reality is you can have both, and most have a little bit of each. No matter what your happiness in life though comes from your inner satisfaction. Do you believe that you deserve to be happy? Some things are just beyond belief.

When I was a little kid there was no problem that was beyond fixing when my dad said everything was going to be okay. I remember this one time I had been riding my bike around the cul-de-sac. I was recently training wheel free and zoomed around the curves of the asphalt like a speed demon on a mission. My helmet was fastened tight but I had neglected to put on my knee pads. One inopportune pebble later I was skidding across the grown having skinned my knee exposing a swath of criss-crossing pink, brown, and the dreaded hemoglobin red. I moved my bike to the grass promising to never ride it again. I clutched my knee in pain, tears streaming down my face, and went inside wailing to my dad. The pain was not what I was distraught over but rather the sanitation process of cleaning the wound. The smarting sizzle off hydrogen peroxide struck fear in my heart. It was beyond belief.

My dad sat me down and told me it was going to be okay. He had this way of saying it in the most nonchalant way, as if it was obvious, that settled whatever reservations I had. My fear subsided as he bandaged me up. He told me to be careful and to ride again. It wasn't the end of the world. Fast forward to today and he's still doing the same for me. I called my dad the other day just to check on him. He was at work seeing patients but whenever any of us (his kids) call he stops whatever he's doing and answers. I told him I was still unsure what I would be doing after graduation and that I was feeling more and more fearful of the future. He said it without prompting, "it'll be okay." His slight West-African accent came through and it brought tears to my eyes. I was okay. I would be okay no matter what. I was not afraid anymore. He just knows in a way that is beyond belief.

This week has been one that has challenged me in more ways than one. New places, new people, and new undertakings all to deal with. Monday saw the sky opening for a blizzard-worthy downpour of fluffy white stuff that resulted in a snow day. I spent my day off applying for jobs at Buzzfeed, Do Something, and other places. In a renewed fervor of hope in the wake of my dad's comfort I felt some much need spontaneity and hope. The worst thing that can happen is a rejection or never receiving correspondence, but  that's better than not giving it a shot at all to even be in the running. Tuesday saw me making it through class, and meeting up with friends for dinner and some semblance of normalcy. Wednesday rolled around and it was classes with pop quizzes and swas buckling some religiously intolerant ignorance before posting up in the newspaper office and doing an interview of a professor for class. I dropped by the library (it's a rare occurrence, we all know that) and passed through meetings for the TV station and the paper before heading home to pass out. All the long nights have been catching up to me beyond belief.

Thursday was the day that was exactly what I needed. I made it to class (barely) and from there had an epic hang out session with my girl, Isora. We hit up Panera, dropped by the grocery store, and returned home to watch a ridiculous episode of Property Brothers (Jonathan & Drew Scott's likability #goals). I walked in the door and received a call about getting an interview from Kent State for their Higher Education program. I had been wondering if I had made the cut and the program director gave me renewed hope that I may just very well be attending graduate school in the fall. I was beyond ecstatic. All I want currently is to be able to do something I'm passionate about next year whether that be helping people out in college or telling more stories through journalism. Something tells me I'll end somehow doing both (politician here I come). I spent the afternoon hardcore cleaning the apartment - going full Smart House mode. I made some new friends in the twins, Peter and Zach, and had them over for dinner and discussion. If I tell you I have this uncanny ability to choose worthwhile people to associate with it's an understatement. Their passion for life and humility was so apparent. Their quirky allegorical references and inside jokes may quite possibly be cooler than mine. I don't know how but somehow the people I get to be around end up being better and way beyond belief. 

 Tips For Going Beyond Belief:
  • Believe in yourself - you are capable of more than you think; oftentimes the thing holding us back is ourselves 
  • Find excitement in the unknown - life is full of surprises, particularly when we least expect it
  • Believe in others & support them - there's nothing more powerful than being able and willing to help someone else with sincere belief and unwavering support 
  • Respect the Present - engage where you are, when you are there; the past is gone and the future isn't here yet 
  • Be grateful - you're okay; you have your health, family, and friends - make sure you realize and appreciate what you have whenever you need perspective 

My blog post question of the day is ... what are your fears about the future? Oh there's so many. I'm afraid will choose the wrong job or incorrect career. I will end up unmarried without kids (more concerned about the children part).


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