Youthful Life: X

"You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” Charles Buxton One of the many myths of adulthood is that work-life balance magically happens to you. Someday you just fall into it or it comes to you naturally. There's no such thing as work-life balance. The fact that we distinguish work as if it's distinct from the rest of our lives instead of incorporated into it is telling. Work is a distinct portion of our lives but the role it plays in that life is up to us. Work-life is not a balance with more weight being given to one than the other like the scales of justice tipping either way. I like the idea of a work-life negotiation better. It's a more active process and speaks to what we're tasked with doing. We have to do our own negotiation. We have the make the life we want. We get to choose the weight we give things. Sometimes we wait for peace or balance when in reality   We don’t just find balance. We have to create our own bal...

" The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." William James Stress is meant to be temporary; not a permanent state of being. Once more with feeling, and I'll say it again for those in the back. Stress is caused by our reaction to the things going in on our lives, not the things themselves. Think about that. That means that as we are able, we can manage our reactions. We have the choice to downplay or highlight the impact of what we face. We get to determine what something or someone means to us. In a world that glorifies the disease of being busy, demands contribution to an incessant news cycle, and a sacrifice of the entirety of who you for are for "productivity" - stress has become normalized. If you're not stressed out, to the point where its toll is visible on your body, then you're not working hard enough.  Stress is not a measure of success nor is it a quantifier of hardship endured. Stress should...

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Audre Lorde I'm tired . I mean like physically, and emotionally exhausted. I feel run down, run ragged, and run over. I'm not as young as I used to be, and the effects of living a nonstop go life are finally catching up to me. Things that came effortlessly in college are little bit more arduous now. I have to be more cognizant of the ways that I exert myself. I also just so happen to do one those jobs that almost exclusively emotional intelligence, and interpersonal relationship building. Maintaining connections is hard. As an introvert, I use every last ounce of energy I have to be accommodating, welcoming, and warm to others at work. Constantly having to smile, be friendly, and genuinely show interest in other people takes a lot out of me. I love people, but I find interactions draining. Then I go home, sit in silence for a bit, read books, watch excessive amo...

Truth - Life is a series of choices. We are constantly tasked with making choices whether we are conscious of them or not. In some instances there seems to be much a myriad of options and at other times we feel limited but nonetheless we are made to choose. Regardless of our preparedness we have to choose, and even deciding not to choose is a paradoxical choice in and of itself. We learn what we need to choose in our lifelong of practice of choosing. This is choice.   "There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles." Stephen Covey One of the many dilemmas my generation faces is the abundance of choice. Now, more than any other time in history, we are given more choices. We have options, opportunities, and less boundaries. From what we eat to where we live, to what we do and how we do it - choice after choice is presented to us. Our challenge is to manage the smaller choices while tackling the gargantuan ones as well. Even that dichotomy though pla...

Truth - Relationships are complicated. Think about it. You spend the majority of your formative years "single" and you're perfectly fine then suddenly expected to partner up with other people. How do you go from living for/with just yourself to potentially having someone else in the picture. Family, friends, and roommates give you practice but adding the intimacy bit makes things more intricate. You don't just know how to be in relationships, you have to learn, like everything else that is new in our lives. Then again you may not be even ready for a relationship. You might be like me, currently unavailable at the moment. "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." Franklin P. Jones   My favorite question I get more and more from other is "why are you single?" In all honesty, because I'm not actively searching for someone else. At this point in my life I am already invested in the most importa...

Truth - Nobody stays young forever. While we may physically age who we are on the inside does so at an entirely different rate. Age does not necessarily equate wisdom or experience. Many a person has been born, lived, and passed all within the minute confines of the microcosms, communities, and insulated bubbles we exist in. Is that living? It depends on what your definition of life is, besides who are we to judge the lives of others lest we welcome the same scrutiny ourselves. The spirit of youth of is alive within each and every one of us if only we allow it to be carefree, adventurous, and genuine - long live the youth.   "Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life." Samuel Ullman Ageism is prejudice , bias, and discrimination based on age or perceived age. All those t...

Truth - There's a big difference between who we are in public versus who we are private. The complicated part of that dichotomy is that we're always told be ourselves no matter where we are and we're with. The problem though with being yourself is that others may not care for who you are. The simple response would be to say who cares but in actuality we do care on some level. It's why we change who we are or at least how we show up in certain spaces. Why are sometimes understated and at others over the top? Why do we pretend we're okay when we're not and continue to smile when we're sad? Are we really different people when we're out in the open or just another version of ourselves behind closed doors? "People behave differently now matter what period we're looking out. People stand up straight in public, but can slouch behind closed doors." Brenda Blethyn To be quite honest , I really don't think we become other people when our se...

The 20s are all about being afraid. Fear sometimes serves a purpose. While it can cause us to remain small, to cower, and to freeze, it can also be a powerful thing that motivates, exhilarates, and inspires us to do truly amazing things. Fear is what holds people back but also what pushes them forward. Fear is a double-edged sword that you have to know just how to wield. Fear can take us to dark places but also lead us to the light. Fear can keep us stuck but can liberate us all the very same. It can tell us we're alone or can bring us together. Fear is fear, is fear, is fear. Sometimes you have just get lost in the fear. Maybe you don't really need to be found. Try and find me, I'm a lost boy. Quite possibly the scariest thing that I have ever experienced was coming to the realization that I would not be going to medical school after college. I had spent the entirety of my life preparing to do just that. I had my life planned out, medical school, then residency, wife, ...

The 20s are all about understanding the world around you being more than just the way you see it. You see, the truth is relative. There are some universal truths and even more so that have yet to be proven. We all come and interact with one another and have our beliefs, ideals, and personal truths collide. Every single day we trade ideas, and thoughts. We grow and change, while some things stay the same. No matter what, our memories and those of us, are forever. Things aren't just black and white, they're gray all over. What we want to see is in vibrant color. No one is perfect. It's something we are told from a young age and yet we're still tasked with trying to achieve perfection every day. It's impossible. It cannot be done. We make mistakes. We mess up. We do the wrong thing. It's human nature. We are flawed. We have imperfections. We are faulty. Why do we chase something, this ambiguous and amorphous, that's unattainable? There's no point. Some...