Black, White & Gray All Over

The 20s are all about understanding the world around you being more than just the way you see it. You see, the truth is relative. There are some universal truths and even more so that have yet to be proven. We all come and interact with one another and have our beliefs, ideals, and personal truths collide. Every single day we trade ideas, and thoughts. We grow and change, while some things stay the same. No matter what, our memories and those of us, are forever. Things aren't just black and white, they're gray all over. What we want to see is in vibrant color.

No one is perfect. It's something we are told from a young age and yet we're still tasked with trying to achieve perfection every day. It's impossible. It cannot be done. We make mistakes. We mess up. We do the wrong thing. It's human nature. We are flawed. We have imperfections. We are faulty. Why do we chase something, this ambiguous and amorphous, that's unattainable? There's no point. Some argue that's it's still worth trying daily to do our best, and that's correct, and your best should change with you. As you're able to do more and achieve even more amazing things. Your best though should be doable. Your best is set by you and only you can know when you have reached that point. There is so much power in deciding for yourself what your goals are. Your dreams can only be your own. Only you can see in your own mind's eye. No one else can know what your heart desires. Why then do we let others, friends, family, and society in general tell us who we're supposed to be. You are the autobiographer of your own life story, write something memorable daily. With that being said, I decided before coming back to college this semester that I would no longer be pursuing medicine. I love the idea of helping people and making an immediate difference in people's lives, but that word "idea" is key. I can help people in other ways and do something I'm better suited with like writing for example. Honestly, I feel free. Like I have been set free from a cage. My heart doesn't feel as heavy. I am happier more often. Hell yeah, I'm scared because I just changed my entire life course (unless it was always this in the first place; thanks God for always seeing the whole picture).  I'm considering journalism school, law school, or school for higher education and student affairs, post college graduation. The funny thing is whenever I tell people none of them are the least bit surprised. They all something to the effect of I could have told you from the first time I met you. I guess my gift has always been writing, and the ability to tell stories, whether that be my own or that of others. I'm good at graphic design, photography, videography and event planning. My greatest gift other than that of voice is the one of foresight, being able to see things and how they could best come together. I hope to use my gifts to figure out my purpose this year, and then use that to benefit those I come into contact with, the communities I get to part of, humanity in general and big G most high. Who I am is not black or white, my life isn't over. In fact, it's quite the opposite - it's just beginning. It's gray all over and about to be bursting with color.

With that same thought process of no longer pursuing perfection, I'm finding more and more contentment with myself and those I choose to surround myself with. It's a recurring theme in my past few posts and it keeps coming up because it's so damn important. With the release from a career path that wasn't for me, I'm also finding empowerment to let go of those who are not the best for me. I deserve the best. You deserve the best. We deserve the best. If those around you don't offer it to you, then that's it. It's not black and white, cut and dry, in or out, but at a certain point it is. There are some people you can tolerate, but you always know that they will never be too close to you, and there are others that have be completely separated. I'm no longer dealing with fakeness, phony people, or those who are untrustworthy. If you cannot fully respect me, that's good to know but no longer will I treat you with the same. You're entitled to dignity and the respect we all deserve but past that, expect nothing. If I cut you off, know that you handed me the scissors and gave me reason to do it. It's for the good of both of us. Show me emotion. Show me passion. Show me caring. Show me friendship. Show me who the hell you are. If you can't do that, then what's the point. You have no color, no life, no reality to me - you are monochromatic shades of gray.

To recap my long weekend, Friday for me meant class in the morning and then a refreshing hang out session with my friend, Sydney. We just chilled on the green people watching, having lunch, and just talking. It was much needed and appreciated. I had another class and afterwards went to a moving talk with student leaders in the ALANA community about #Ferguson and our activism efforts. It was great to see people actually care and rally behind wanting to do something to show support and educate others. Watch out UVM, we're coming in full force. I make a quick dinner and then went to help out at the Back 2 School Bash with my fellow IFC men, Sam and Scott. We ended up just talking and bonding with the wonderful consultants from Delta Upsilon, Mark, Alex, and Zach. When they have to leave, I'm going to actually be upset. They're down to Earth, and easy to talk to. Midnight rolled around and I came home and passed out. Saturday I went to see the Giver (see review below) with my homegirl, Lexi from orientation. It was so good to reconnect with her and get out of Burlington. Willy came over and we watched like eight episodes of the Legend of Korra and ordered pizza. Sleepover time and Sunday morning kicked off with breakfast and more talking. I had my first chapter meeting of the semester and ended up becoming VP of Membership of our chapter (because I'm not busy enough already). It was good to see the brothers all together again. My roommate Zach came back from his trip and I feel asleep blogging up a storm. Black, white, and gray all over with tons of colorful moments seeping in.

The Giver Movie Review: This movie was amazing. It made me feel. I cried, I cringed, I wanted to yell. I laughed, I shrank into myself, and I help my breath. That's the purpose of cinema, to take you out of your world and into another. It's to make you feel something. There is power in emotion. The movie received poor reviews from critics and book purists alike. As someone who has it in their top five all time favorite books, the movie does the books justice. The use of black and white imagery is beautiful, particularly when contrasted with the  vibrant colors, sounds, and touches that appear. The cinematography is stellar. The sets, props, and costuming are superb. Everything is stark, sterile, and utopian. The exposition is clear and not unnecessarily nuanced. The gravity of it all is made clear. The movie has real heart and the themes it brings up will leave you thinking about your existence long after you leave the theater. The acting is well done and thoroughly believable. Brenton Thwaites as "Jonas" and Jeff Bridges as "the Giver" are electric together. Meryl Streep as "Chief Elder" along with Katie Holmes, Alexander Skarsgard, Odeya Rush, Cameron Monaghan, Emma Tremblay and even the various child actors who play "Gabriel" are all phenomenal. It just works. I would see it again, and again. Give it a chance. 4/5 stars

My blog post question for the day is ... what's something about yourself that you would absolutely never want to change? I think I talk about how dark my brown eyes a lot but I think they are deep and soulful


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