Youthful Life: X

" Real strength has to do with helping others." Fred Rogers Cannot believe I'm writing my annual birthday blog post. What a year it has been. What a year it really has been. What a year it has been. This has been the worst year of my life, and there's no spinning it. The loss was too great. The impact was too pervasive. The devastation was too life-changing. It's so challenging to properly weigh the scales on evaluating the most surreal year of my life. My mom passed away. Everything in my head is organized into the before, and then there's the after. It's the jumping off point. It's the reset. If there's no acknowledgement of that, there's nothing for us to talk about. Everything from that morning (5:03AM) forward has been different. Everything from that point on is just the aftermath of the biggest heartbreak of my lifetime to date.  Everything is just the falling action from a climax that should have never came. How could this be my life s...

"Too many of us are hung up on what we don't have, can't have, or won't ever have. We spend too much energy being down, when we could use that same energy — if not less of it — doing, or at least trying to do, some of the things we really want to do." Terry McMillan We cannot convince someone to like us ; more importantly we should not have to do so. People should want us, as we are, because of who we are. We should have not sell ourselves, demand recognition, or pine for attention. Let go of people who never reached out to you, those who never attempted to catch you, and those who stood idle as you took a risk. People should be able to see our inherent worth, and to value it as priceless. Anyone who needs convincing is unworthy of your essence, time, energy, or effort. We have to stop wasting our time on those who have no intention of choosing us. Why do we seek the acknowledgement, permission, acceptance, etc. of others knowing that it will never be ours? Wh...

" People are uncomfortable about disability, and so interactions can become unintentionally uncomfortable." Stella Young College messed me up . It's been almost three years since I moved my tassel from right to left, and yet I feel the lingering effects of that experience for me. I'm specifically speaking of those debilitating memories of absolutely failing exams in my science courses. Surprise, I was pre-med throughout the majority of my college career - switched from biology to religion as my major, and took some GPA hits. I had constructed the entirety of my identity in becoming a medical doctor that even when I was performing abysmally, dreaded going to class, and struggled to grasp the concepts presented to me I continue to persist instead of realizing I had other talents, gifts, abilities, and goals. I eventually figured out my real passions with journalism and educational advocacy, but not before I had crashed, burned, and failed many an exam, quiz, home...

" The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment." Tony Robbins   I think I have commitment issues . The entire idea of permanence sends shivers down my spine. It just seems so ... final  - you know? I have spent my entire life always moving on. Everything I have done has always had an expiration date. It was always going to get better because I was going to leave at some point. High school and all its social clique induced anxiety ended, college and its adventures in pretentiousness and depravity ended, grad school zoomed on by, and you get the point. Now I'm in this phase of my life where things could be permanent if I wanted them to be. There is this new possibility that I could stay, that I could choose to be here, and to do so indefinitely. People around me are getting engaged, buying houses, having children, etc. and then there's me still waiting to move on, like I have always done. I don't think I know how to do anything else. Those...

Truth - People behave differently when they perceive themselves to be under observation. This phenomenon is called the Hawthorne effect. If our lives are all based on our interactions with others and the world around us, then who are we? If who we are changes based on the context of where we are or who we find ourselves, the question becomes, are we ever actually being ourselves? Maybe the question is rhetorical, in that we can only ever be ourselves? Regardless, there's a lot to unpack here. This is the big interview. "I sometimes find that in interviews you learn more about yourself than the person learned about you." William Shatner It's been funny for me the amount of advice, the vast majority of it unsolicited, that I've received ever since I started my job search process. People have truly come out of the wood work to give me their opinions on how I should approach every aspect of the process. Most, if not all, of it has had benign intentions but ...

Truth - Sometimes we are prepared for life and other times we have to learn on the fly. It's those times where we are underprepared that often become the most significant for us. Who are we when we are caught off guard? How do we react when we receive bad news? Why do we behave in certain ways? Being told no has a sting to it but what's truly is poisonous is letting that venom subdue us. We can take rejection, it doesn't have to take us. "Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don't base your self-esteem on their opinions." Harvey Mackay Nobody likes to be told no but how we respond makes all the difference. More often than not we want TJ respond with denial and rebuke. It's like when you like someone but they don't like you back and so you take back your confession of feelings for them, or turn around insult them. It's juvenile, petty, and low. It speaks more to an immaturity in us than anything. We can...

Truth - No two people are the same. While that may be an infallible truth, we are more alike than we sometimes like to acknowledge. In another sense, there are just many things that make us unique as there are things that make us similar. We're exceptional but not the exceptions. We're complicatedly simple and also simply complicated. We're special and we're not special. "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old" George Burns The rhetoric targeted at the millennial continually seems to get worse and worse each year, or maybe I'm just more cognizant of all the stereotypes others put on us, and the ones I was part of creating for myself. Millennials are hailed as the generation of narcissism, superficiality, social media, entitlement, idealism, and restlessness among other things. My issue with those stereotypes is not that they're necessarily wrong, but rather that they are remarkably limiting and leave little to no ro...

Truth - No two people are the same. While the things that connect us may not be as visible as the things that distinguish us from one another, they are still important. With that being said however, our individuality is both literally and figuratively what makes us different from any and everyone else. There are times when our uniqueness is recognized and valued, but even more so instances where it is overlooked. Our lives are painted over with a broad stroke of a generic narrative. The reality is, our stories, and the colorful illustrations that go with them vary. Treating people as persons instead of collective people can have some powerful impacts. Time to find your inner purpose - this is finals season. "The world is the true classroom. The most rewarding and important type of learning is through experience, seeing something with our own eyes." Jack Hanna   College is not for everyone . Let me say it one more time for dramatic effect. College is not for everyone. Th...

The 20s are all about welcoming your future. This decade of your life is supposed to be where you come into your own and make the transition from young adult to fully established professional. The transformation and the steps along the way leave much to be desired. It seems like it's just supposed to happen overnight. You wake up and suddenly know what you want for your life. I don't know about you but the epiphany moments I have are way more subtle than that. It's only in taking the time to notice how I am reacting in certain situations that I realize how I have grown up. Let's take a glimpse into the future - this is flash forward. It's the question that every senior ever has dreaded, "what are you doing after graduation?" I have some general ideas about what I would like to do but as of now not really in specifics. In actuality I cannot even decide what I want to watch next on Netflix left alone choose the next step into adulthood. It seems like ever...

The 20s are all about finding your voice. There are so many things that hold us back from being bold, but most of it is internal. Fear is a powerful thing. Going against the grain, being different, and changing the learned narrative can be terrifying. We're taught to not just ignore difference, but to avoid it and not to acknowledge it. The truth about is difference speaks loudly in a sea of sameness. There's more than one story. There's more than one voice in society, but it's called history for a reason. I want to hear herstory . All the women whose voices and actions we don't learn about - the heroines, victors, and femme fatales. "Women shouldn't be valued because they are strong or because they kick-ass, but because they are people" * This is part two and the conclusion to my social justice posts on feminism. Missed part one - catch up right here "Women's Intuition" . Here's a quote to keep in mind about this opinion post...