Youthful Life: X

"Too many of us are hung up on what we don't have, can't have, or won't ever have. We spend too much energy being down, when we could use that same energy — if not less of it — doing, or at least trying to do, some of the things we really want to do." Terry McMillan We cannot convince someone to like us ; more importantly we should not have to do so. People should want us, as we are, because of who we are. We should have not sell ourselves, demand recognition, or pine for attention. Let go of people who never reached out to you, those who never attempted to catch you, and those who stood idle as you took a risk. People should be able to see our inherent worth, and to value it as priceless. Anyone who needs convincing is unworthy of your essence, time, energy, or effort. We have to stop wasting our time on those who have no intention of choosing us. Why do we seek the acknowledgement, permission, acceptance, etc. of others knowing that it will never be ours? Wh...

"It's not that I dislike many people. It's just that I don't like many people." Bryant Gumbel No one likes to be dislike d. It's sewn into our DNA that we just have a general disposition and a need to be liked. We want people to want us. We want them to like us, get excited when we're around, love us. We spend so much of our time devoted to getting people to like us. We shouldn't have to convince, beg, or plead with people for them to like us. We don't owe anyone ourselves. We don't have to give the entirety of who we are, or pretend to be someone else in a futile search for the approval of others. If we have to persuade someone to accept, tolerate, value us then maybe those people truly are undeserving of all that we are. And, and, and, we ourselves do not have to like anyone if we don't want to. "Like" should an enthused, jovial, and benign feeling we have for another person whether friendly or romantic. We get to reserve t...

“Rejection is inevitable. The goal is to minimize it.” Keith Grafman Language is a constantly evolving sociopolitical construct. It changes with the locale, culture, and context in which it is used. Words take on new meaning. The world of relationships and romance has been revolutionized itself with the onset of digital mediums through which to communicate. With it though has been borne a potentially toxic culture of miscommunication, micro-communication, and no communication at all. No one really knows how people will utilize inventions, and oftentimes users dictate the uses of products more than creators do. People are both predictable and simultaneously an unsolvable enigma of the most epic proportions. They exist both in the centerfold and the marginalia. They are creatures of habit and wildcards played to disrupt the flow of things. People can be cruel regardless of intent just as easily as they can be kind. Time for a vocabulary lesson, this time on breadcrumbing, windows...

" Life has taught me that it is not for our faults that we are disliked and even hated, but for our qualities." Bernard Berenson The biggest woe of dating besides superficiality, search preferences, ghosting, fizzling out, and ambiguity is the asymmetrical like. Nothing is more disappointing than liking someone and them not liking you back. I don't know about anyone else but when I like someone I have this dastardly habit of letting my imagination run wild, with them in tow no less, only to have it remain nothing more than a dream. There's nothing like being abrupt woken up from a good dream. It's all pinterest board weddings, rom-com love story arcs, and Instagram bae unbearable cuteness until reality hits, and the "I'm just not that into you" brings me back to down to Earth. The truth is being "in-like" is the same as actually liking someone. Sometimes I build people up so much in my head that who they are is distorted by who I imagi...

The 20s are all about stepping up your digital footprint. In this day and age, we stay constantly connected (perpetually enslaved) tot he interwebs with our smartphones, smart TVs, smart cars, and all the rest of our technologies. It's rare for you to be somewhere and people not be on their phones, texting, tweeting, posting, liking, sharing, browsing, scrolling, and doing the infamous double-tap of likeytude. Oh what a privilege it is to have access to these items but also to be able to disconnect and live life in real time as opposed to vicariously through a touchscreen. Ten years ago, when people entered a restaurant they asked for the non-smoking section and now they ask for free Wi-Fi (and where's the pizza #JLaw crazy voice). There is a constant flood of information and it's a struggle to sift through it all but we do it daily. Some people just have a knack for engaging others on social media. I'm just saying, like my status. It seems like everyone has that ...

The 20s are all about never settling for less than you deserve. College is a time when people get out there and hit the dating scene like they've been waiting their entire lives for it. Yeah, the dating pool may be massive and that may mean more people to choose from but that doesn't mean you'll find what you're looking for. Some people come across what they've been searching for, while others are not so lucky. Your day will come, in due time. This is what a boy wants. Somehow I've come to live by this unspoken ideal man law. It's both a gift and a curse at the same damn time. Let me explain. I'm the guy that everyone loves to really like, cute (not hot), empathetic, compassionate, intelligent, put-together, and funny. I always get you would be the perfect boyfriend, why are you single, or why haven't you been spoken for. My favorite is any girl would be a fool to pass up on you. Well damn, if I'm this big catch then what does no one ever act...