Youthful Life: X

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”Fred Rogers You know who is awe-inspiringly human ... kids . Children are the most remarkable embodiment of what humanity can be. What would our world look like if we sought to emulate the humanity of children? We have our humanity tamed as we grow older. Children are carefree, fearless, and zany. They show affectionate readily, communicate candidly, and ask questions. Their curiosity for the world around them is their greatest asset. Kids are weird. They do things without reason but also have this profound worldview that is less clouded by socialization. They don't hold back for better or worse. They cry, express joy, laugh a whole lot, and feel their feelings. They can be so human it hurts.  We ...

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." Harriet Tubman Do you dream? Do your dreams scare you? Are you dreams wondrous, magnificent, awe-inspiring? Do your dreams seem phantasmagorical, sublime, or surreal? Dreams in this literal and figurative connotations are significant to our experiences. Dreams let us imagine worlds, lives, and instances where the impossible becomes plausible. Dreams are critical to our grasping of what we are capable of. What do our dreams say about us? Are we paying attention? Are we noticing patterns? Are we taking actions to interpret the messages our dreams are communicating to us? Dreams are a manifestation of our subconscious. The part of ourselves that lies deep beneath the surface and speaks to the essence of both who we are, who we're afraid of, and who we're striving to be. What happens when we take serio...

" Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations" Leo Buscaglia I wonder if I expect too much of others . In some ways I also question if my expectations are too close to the bare minimum. There doesn't quite seem to be a middle ground of compromise balancing my internal expectations and my external pronouncements. I get frustrated when I behave in certain ways - going above and beyond for others, being present and supportive, showing up, etc. - and don't receive reciprocated energy, effort, or time. The real person to blame though is me for never getting explicit in saying what I need, what I want, and what I'm looking for. Other people cannot read my mind, and I don't get to be petty, hold grudges, or write people off because they couldn't telepathically psychoanalyze me. I'm learning that I cannot be disappointed when people fail me because I never communicated what it would take for them to succeed. How can I be surp...

"Too many of us are hung up on what we don't have, can't have, or won't ever have. We spend too much energy being down, when we could use that same energy — if not less of it — doing, or at least trying to do, some of the things we really want to do." Terry McMillan We cannot convince someone to like us ; more importantly we should not have to do so. People should want us, as we are, because of who we are. We should have not sell ourselves, demand recognition, or pine for attention. Let go of people who never reached out to you, those who never attempted to catch you, and those who stood idle as you took a risk. People should be able to see our inherent worth, and to value it as priceless. Anyone who needs convincing is unworthy of your essence, time, energy, or effort. We have to stop wasting our time on those who have no intention of choosing us. Why do we seek the acknowledgement, permission, acceptance, etc. of others knowing that it will never be ours? Wh...

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." Ernest Hemingway There are people that love going out, and there those that absolutely hate it. I'm somewhere towards the middle of those two extremes. I have this tumultuous relationship with going out, with trusting other people, and with being able to relax enough to actually enjoy myself. I'm uptight. I like things to be planned  - complete with an itinerary. I flail against spontaneity. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert, partially controlling, or inherently wary. Maybe it's because I've never felt welcome/included in spaces where rowdy young people reveled. Maybe because my biggest worry is about getting into trouble, especially with law enforcement, and being on high alert at all times. Who knows, it's probably a mixture of all three and more. Either way, there are so many factors that derail my attempts to thrive in the vibrancy of the young adult social lands...

" The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." William James Stress is meant to be temporary; not a permanent state of being. Once more with feeling, and I'll say it again for those in the back. Stress is caused by our reaction to the things going in on our lives, not the things themselves. Think about that. That means that as we are able, we can manage our reactions. We have the choice to downplay or highlight the impact of what we face. We get to determine what something or someone means to us. In a world that glorifies the disease of being busy, demands contribution to an incessant news cycle, and a sacrifice of the entirety of who you for are for "productivity" - stress has become normalized. If you're not stressed out, to the point where its toll is visible on your body, then you're not working hard enough.  Stress is not a measure of success nor is it a quantifier of hardship endured. Stress should...

"Empowerment isn't a buzzword among leadership gurus. It's a proven technique where leaders give their teams the appropriate training, tools, resources, and guidance to succeed." John Rampton  Every single person we meet gives us the opportunity to demonstrate kindness towards another human being. Each and every day we pass by droves of people, and the few we do interact with either get to be the beneficiaries of us at our best or experience us at our less than best. That opportunity to show empathy, compassion, and benevolence to another being though is one that we should not take for granted. Those fleeting moments where we have the chance to connect are what we all seek. It's in that minutiae that we have the opportunity to do something awe-inspiring. We get to do some empowerment. We get to deposit encouragement. We get to speak truth and power into the lives of other people. We get to validate, appreciate, and celebrate who other people are. We get to...

"I learned a lot about falling in love when I fell out of love. I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone." Unknown  Forging connections with new people is a challenge the older I get. Maybe it's because I'm stuck in my ways or I'm just cynical and closed off. Whatever it is, it makes my efforts to connect with others few and far between. When I do connect with people, I struggle to overcome my default behavior of comparing them to all the others who have come before them. I think I want familiarity but in reality, it just shows up as trying to replace one past or far away friend with someone who just isn't them. Whether it be in like, love, or friendship it's been a challenge to unlearn that woefully limiting behavior of comparing the new people in my life to those my people of the past. What I miss out on is the opportunity to get to know someone who they actually are, not who I imagine or want them to be. I want so badly for someone to...

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." George Bernard Shaw This is my 800th blog post. I cannot believe I just typed those words. I never would have thought that I would still be writing but in all honesty I cannot imagine my life without this blog. Who would I be if I didn't have this space to write, reflect, and just be . I have learned a great deal, grown an immense amount, and most of all become someone I truly love being since I started way back in 2010. I was a second semester senior in high school and had no clue what journey lied ahead for me. I've been through experiences seemingly running the full gamut of what life has to offer, and yet still I have more life to live. What an immense gift it has been to have this place to be free, to be myself, and to be lost. It is here that I was found. It was here that I found me. It was here that I found myself. What follows is my biggest takeaways from my time existing since I l...