Hold Tight

The 20s are a about getting perspective. It is a refreshing thing to remember what matters most to you. It's so easy to get caught up in the everyday chaos of life and lose sight of the essentials. Take a look around and recognize how absolutely overwhelmingly big the world is. Pause, and think to yourself what makes your world go round. The tough thing is both points of view mean something to each and every one of us. It's a twisty turny wild ride - hold tight.
It seems like there are infallible truths that I hold on to. It's these facts that I believe to be true about the world. Life never ceases to amaze me with how unpredictable it can be. Even more so is how much I find myself wanting to hold on to those pieces of truth even though I know they are not impervious to the everyday haphazard occurrences that I encounter. As someone who finds themselves clinging on to the safety and reliability of routines, in so many ways, coming to terms with actualities of difference than my machinated imaginations can be so difficult. Newness for me is jarring whether it be benign or not. In my fear and yearning to linger longer with the familiar I look to see what I hold tight to. I'm unlearning and relearning daily that I can be afraid of the randomness of life, find freedom in flailing in it, and that I can hold tight to what I hold near and dear to my heart.

This week there was an awful accident that shook my campus thoroughly. I'm acquaintances with one of those involved and I found myself impacted to an extent that I didn't expect. Yik Yak, Twitter, and Facebook blew up with posts from students expressing their sorrow, anguish, and sincere pleading prayers. More often though I read other's relatable yet frankly concerning sense of relief. This notion that "I'm blessed that was not me" or that my gratitude for the life I am afforded manifests itself in retrospect after I've been adjacent to a tragedy. This comparison aspect is what troubles me most. I see people, myself included, floundering in trying to articulate best the fleeting perspective shift being experienced. Somehow it becomes about the individual not even those who are most directly affected. I know it makes everyone think but the ways in which we do is deserve some contemplation in and of itself. Why do we hold tight to ourselves.

This for me was another time where I saw the principles of adhering to admonishments versus reactionary lesson learning come into play. There are some times when I can be forewarned and listen to adjust myself appropriately. Other times I have to fail, fall, be hurt, or at least come close to that occurrence for me to shift perspective. I wonder what it is about some chastisements or counseling that resonates deeply whereas others are ignored or even incite anger. Maybe it's who says it, how they do so, and what their intention is in saying so. Whatever the reason may be, it is one worth reflecting upon. What I heard most people glean from this community rocking calamity was that they should be appreciative of what the life they get to live daily. That's valid but it what doesn't sit with me well is taking someone else's adversity as a lesson for you. It should not take a world-altering shock to get you to hold tight to the people and things around you.

That being said - I'm writing what I'm appreciative of. This is definitely something I have found myself doing throughout the year whether it be on this blog, my other outlets of social media, or most importantly in person. There is immense power in articulating what you are blessed with. Grace, mercy, and clemency are what I hold close with. I am grateful to God for empowering and sustaining me throughout legitimately the most difficult week of my college experience. I am thankful of my parents for adoring me with their unconditional love endlessly and my siblings for being ideal reflections of myself. I cherish my friends for letting me be me both the good and the bad. And to all the little things like the feel good TV that's been keeping me all good (the Crazy Ones, the Flash, and the Royals), hassle free food from Trader Joe's, and my teddy bear for that nostalgic comfort. I hold tight and say, I am taking life as it comes, whatever that means for me - not necessarily always in comparison to someone else. Lives run in parallel but lives also intertwined - hold tight.

My blog post question for the day is ... what is something you appreciate about your life? Just to be where I am - that is in college and graduating, is an immense privilege.


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