It All Ends Here
The 20s are all about letting your light shine. I have always enjoyed the symbolism of light. I find it heartwarming and moving in so many ways. I often wish people light in their lives and ask for the same. I aspire to be a light in the world and one that not gives their light but is able to receive from others who offer it in return. My light, I hope, shines bright unto others and ignites, refreshes, or enhances theirs. I strive to do that daily. I will let my light shine, so long as I live. I know it will until it all ends here.
*Miss part one of my graduation weekend story - read it first here "One Last Time"
From Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love - a poem
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Dinner and Netflix happened and soon again I was alone in my apartment, let with time to think. I was having a tough time again try to wrap my head around all the praise I was receiving or why I had meant so much to so many people. Zach and Dom, that dynamic duo, came through and somehow I was convinced to head downtown. The night was live with rowdy seniors and alumni reliving their glory days. Warm, moist, and full of cheer - the night raged on as we hit the bar and just talked. Hours flew by and soon it was 2AM. I was to be up in 5 hours getting ready for my graduation. Morning came way too fast and I woke to the sounds of Will knocking at my door that my friend Sam, and sister, Bianca, were waiting for me. We were supposed to be lining up in 3 minutes by the library and I was just starting to get dressed. Zach fixed my back and helped me put on all the regalia, cords, and stoles. And with that we were off, pretty much running to make the main ceremony procession. Quick hugs and our director of student life, Pat, tapping his watch like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland stuck out for me as I ran to join whoever I saw first. It was something phantasmagorical much like a movie for sure. My buddy Shawn was near the front and I cut in front of him as the line started moving. Me, perpetually late as always. There I was, one last time.
We went for a dinner outside of Burlington and I started crying uncontrollably at the table. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I missed my three brothers, sister-in-law, and niece who hadn't been able to attend. The love that people had expressed towards me was too much. My heart was overflowing with love. My soul had been filled beyond the brim. I was so loved. I don't know why and I do all at the same time. I couldn't believe it and I could. I was happy, I was so damn happy. We ate and said our goodbyes as I went home alone again. I just sat letting tears stream down my face - my joy couldn't be contained. I didn't know how to express it. There was so much I wanted to say to so many people. So many thank you's that I needed to get out. I took to social media and poured it out. Soon Will, Lisa, and Derrick arrived and we talked about our wild days in the sun. Graduation weekend had really come to a close. It had all ended here. This was a weekend I would absolutely never forget. The feelings and memories are some I would carry with me for the rest of my life. And here I say thank you. This blog is the documentation of my college story, and you all have been avid readers. Thank you, you helped me through as well. Thank you for allowing me to tell my story here. It all ended here.
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