Contact Hangover

The 20s are all about entering into a time in your life. Many a high school facebook friend has been unfriended throughout my college years but there are still a few hundred that I keep just to creep on and their lives are more interesting than I ever could have imagined. That's the twenties for ya. You never know what way your life will go. Some people are doing career-starting internships, some of pursuing education, some are dating, some are getting married, some are having kids, and some are exactly where I last saw them. The spectrum of what people are doing is almost unfathomable. For some it seems the party never started (*cough me cough) and for others the party never stopped. Either way, there's this little thing I like to call a contact hangover, and I'm feeling it.

Marriage. Pause, and just reflect on that really quick. That's a big freaking deal. Two people are becoming one so long as they live, till death do they part, forever and ever, and ever. I don't know. To me that seems so serious, well because it is. It's kind of crazy to think that some of friends and other young-ish people I know are moving on with their lives, finding love, and making it official with their partners. I feel so young. I feel out of place. I feel behind. Who pressed the fast forward button of life and left me behind. I'm just trying to finish college let alone go on my first date ever and people are already tying the knot. The twenties is definitely the decade of big changes. Everyone seems to be in their own unique stage. Some people are further long in the stages of life and others are lagging behind. The reality is there's not one pace you're supposed to keep up with. You set your own life's pace and be prepared when hurdles get in the way or Mario Kart-esque zoom patches propel along faster. Things don't happen in sequence anymore. Life plans get thrown out the window and you kind of just go with it. There are so many amazing people who you really cannot map their rise to their positions because it was through connections, sporadic opportunities and unique circumstances. U.S Ambassador to the UN Samantha Power, Bill Rancic, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson and so many more who just skyrocketed to world-renowned significance. There's not one way to get anywhere anymore. Maybe you need a degree, maybe you know someone, or maybe you just get lucky - you never know. That to me seems absolutely terrifying and breathtakingly exhilarating at the same damn time. That scares me shatless and gives me this hopeful rush. What it means is there are multiple avenues to get to where you want to be and it means you have to be ready to go where life directs you even if it's uncharted territory. Hit the bottle, spin the bottle, break the bottle and get your contact hangover. 

One of my biggest wishes is to be on as many weddings as I possibly can. Honest, seeing two people madly in love on one of the happiest days of their lives is an amazing experience. I'm so weird. I have this list on my phone of groomsmen for my wedding (if) when I get married. It's been a pretty solid list for the past few years. I'm not even embarrassed to say that I have an idea of what I want my wedding to look like (pending partner approval ... I suppose). The stigma that guy's can't be excited about a wedding goes along with all the other nonsensical "men aren't supposed to have feelings/care about anything other than sex, beer, sports, and power" crap. Whatever, I just imagine a classic wedding in a stone castle or church with navy blue rose petals everywhere. A gigantic ballroom with ample dance floor space, a bangin' DJ, and a next level cake that makes everyone gasp would be the highlights of the reception. All I know is my ceremony will be 20 minutes or less and we will hit the dance floor for hours on end. If you're not sweating, losing some clothing, and having the time of your life, then you're not doing my wedding right. I already have Pinterest boards (BTW, how the hell did Pinterest surpass twitter in monthly users?) ready for my house (suburb of Omaha, NE I'm coming for you) and for my young professional years, why not a wedding board. I would totally plan my own damn wedding if I have enough time (double-backup career plan - event planning; thank you student leadership). Uhm, follow me on Pinterest. If you leave my wedding without a contact hangover of excessive happiness, then I've failed you (no Arrow they weren't ready).

You're probably wondering why all the wedding talk, well this past weekend I was fortunate enough to be part of the bachelor party for one of my fraternity brothers, Robbie. Saturday we started in the afternoon getting dinner at this great pizza place, Fiddlehead, where which was attached to it's own brewery. The conversation flowed and so did the drinks and the food. It was five of us, including his two close friends from high school, Zach and Adam, and our brother/friend Derrick who were being chauffeured around by the ever gracious, Lisa (my friend, and Derrick's partner). Let me just pause and give those two a shoutout they orchestrated the whole thing and went above and beyond. Their dedication and true passion for wanting to give Robbie a memorable day was absolutely awe-inspiring (take notes to all my friends, a standard has been set - you know I'm going to throw aka obsessively plan the most extravagant kickbacks for all my peoples). It's been a good summer getting to know them without filters (subletters/apartmentmates) and having them around has been a much needed change of pace - thanks more than you know. We went from brewery to pub, hard cider place-thingy, to restaurant, and bar for a solid ten hours. It was funny to see people get a little bit looser as the day progressed and they got progressively more intoxicated. It wasn't the stereotypical debaucherous booze, stripper, bad life decisions type of party (you know I couldn't and wouldn't want to hand all that extra). Meanwhile I'm eating gummy bears, sipping on juice boxes and sparkling cider #soberforlife. It was truly just a fun day. It wasn't about any of us, it was just about being together and being there for Robbie before he takes the next step in his life. I had a genuinely good time, and for me to spend that long with people (I'm aware I do that M-F weekly but that's different) really was saying something. I'm so happy for him, truly. I wish him nothing but lifelong love, good times, and prosperity as he moves forward. You know what else I learned from the day was that I can do the whole alcohol-free thing with less anxiety going forward as social situations change and it's more casual. I'm going to be okay. I'll fit in and can still have a great time. The entire drinking atmosphere changes when you reach 21 a bit. By the end of the night it doesn't even really matter, you wake up with a contact hangover anyway.

Bachelor Party Tips:
  • Check with the groom before inviting people - unwanted guests are not a good look; do invite as many people as possible
  • Pay for everything the groom does - he's the man of the hour, treat him that way
  • Do not have the bachelor party night before the wedding - this isn't the Hangover: nobody wants to go through their wedding day foggy, hungover or a complete mess
  • Do something the groom would enjoy - it's not about any of the groomsmen - if he likes sports, go to a game or make a day out of it; if he likes thrill-seeking go to an amusement park, go bungee-jumping, or wind tunnel diving
  • Keep it budget friendly; make sure everyone is on the same page so people aren't surprised when the bills come (recognize people have different priorities: student loans, children, etc.)
  • Have FUN - it's about being with one another; live in the moment and do it up big

My blog post question for the day is ... if you could have anyone perform at your wedding who you want and why? I think Brian McKnight. I feel like I could totally get my groove on to 90s R&B hits and feel good about it.


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