Carpe Diem

The 20s are all about seizing the day. That is taking full advantage of everything you're afforded. It's making the most of what you've been given. Doing the what you can with what you have. That's sucking the marrow out of life to paraphrase a one Robin Williams from Dead Poet's Society. The imagery of taking something, snatching, grabbing, or pilfering has always led me to believe "seizing" has meant getting something. It's an active word. It's accompanied by a physical motion. It implies movement. Make the most of your life, because it's fleeting. Carpe diem.

In my most panicked days of trying to figure out what I would be doing post graduation I was able to contact my old advisor Drake and he told me that I should rewatch Dead Poet's Society. I had some time this week (read as "I decided to procrastinate instead of do work") and resigned to my room to be engulfed once again in the story of the movie. I always say it's my favorite movie but I had only seen it one time prior to this viewing. It was 11th grade honors english with our student teacher. I assume we must have just finished a poetry unit. It took us a few class periods to finish but that movie has always stuck with me. In watching it again, I was even more moved this time. I felt even more connected to the characters in their journey to find their own voices, decide who they want to be, and to throw caution to the wind. The movie had all these relevant quotes and the delivery of it all was so impactful. You can see the anguish, turmoil, and real uncertainty within all the boys faces. The movies message is multifaceted. Maybe it's a caution against blind compliance, or perhaps it calls on its viewers to challenge the system. I interpreted it as an urging for me to follow my passion. Passion. What a word. Recently, I've become plagued with taking words as their original meanings (thank you religion for making my very conception of the English language fraught with polemics). Passion like the plight of martyr demonstrating extreme devotion to the Christian belief in the face of deadly persecution from the Roman government. Now passion means a zealous love for something. It's often described as a fire within, something that excites you, makes you feel things  like nothing else in this world. Passion is the key to seizing the day. Carpe diem.
Senior year could be summed up in the phrase "I don't give a damn." That is the most acurate and succinct way of describing my newfound sense of self. I just don't care, but not in the bad way. I have seized my day by doing things out of the ordinary, spontaneously, and without as much agonizing forethought or inner admonition monologues. I have effectively stopped caring so much about what others think of me. I have moved beyond the inhibitions, doubts, and apprehensions. It doesn't matter. I'm not going to be here in a year. Who knows who I'll still be connected to. Who knows yet where I'll be and what I'll be doing. Why would it matter any more what I may be afraid of. My fears, they are being overcome daily, and if not I'm going to have to tackle them head on soon enough.

So I saw forget it. Screw it. Damn it. Do what you want. I mean what you really want. The thing that you have lucid dreams about. Whatever makes your heart pound faster, brings a smile to your face, and makes your spirit soar. It's what fires you up, gets you excited for life, and gives you something to look forward to. It's the one thing that you could and never get tired of. It's your lifeblood, what revitalizes you, and gives you purpose. Ask yourself essentially what matters to you. What one thing is synonymous with you? There has to be something that is the essence of who you are, you feel it in your bones, and the axons all over your body fire in an ecstatic frenzy. Figure it out. Find it. Pursue it. Chase it down until you have it. Make that what you do. That's what your purpose is. That's what you're meant to do. That's how you carpe diem.

This week had me taking more time for myself than I have quite possibly in all the years of my college experience. It was a conscious choice but I just do that much work. Obviously I accomplished all that I needed to but I just kept to myself for a few days and it was glorious. I felt refreshed like that short-lived Lifetime show the Client List (minus the happy endings; mmkay J-Love). From Sunday through Tuesday my days consisted of meetings, classes, and the occasional random occurrence. Wednesday is when things picked up as I started my day with accidentally attending a meeting which I promptly departed in true the Crazy Ones fashion to post up in the TV studio and watch the Flash and Happyland. Just saying, the former is such a feel good show and Grant Gustin shines in the titular role as Barry Allen. I hit class then participated in the orientation flash mob that had all the people in the student center stopping in their tracks to snapchat, vine, and yik yak all about our peppy show. Fast forward to the evening where I indulged in four episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh and then proceeded to relive the perfection that is the Dead Poet's Society. Oh I seized the day alright, for me, myself, and I.

The whole winging it thing (unless it has to do with food, #aboutit) is usually not for me but this week I embraced it wholeheartedly. Thursday started with some Eggo waffles (pumpkin spice > everything) before helping edit the latest episode of my TV show. I guess my class was cancelled because my professor just didn't show up. Jury is still out on that one. My religion senior seminar took a field trip to the recital hall where we had a private performance by the Rose Ensemble (vocal music prior to 1750) where we discussed St. Francis of Assisi at length. It was mesmerizing and thoroughly impressive to say the least. From there I went to hang out with my new friend Shawn from my men's outreach group. The mere fact that I'm still finding people that add positivity to my life in my senior year never ceases to amaze me. I did a little studying for my religion exam and ended up watching an episode of Buying and Selling with the Property Brothers (Drew and Jonathan Scott are up there for my favorite reality TV stars) before heading to my 1in4 presentation. Of course I was nervous but I did it and hustled over to my fraternity's initiation ceremony. We completed the ritual, gathered together for pictures, and made our way to Denny's for a celebratory dinner. Hanging out with those goons never gets old. You never know what any of them will say or how they'll get me to laugh. Car dancing, sing-a-longs, and sly snaps galore made the night one that I'll never forget. Should have been studying, but I'm #teamwhatever. Carpe diem right?

My blog question for the day is ... what's something random you've done recently? Honestly, waving to people I know who know me but we've never actually spoken before. It always catches them off guard and it just makes those connections that little bit stronger.


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