Chaos Control

The 20s are all about living with chaos. When all breaks loose, you break back! Do you ever have those weeks where everything just happens all at once and still somehow you're expected to keep it all together? On top of the normal stuff you have to do, you're tasked with all this extraness that just sends you careening towards the edge of destruction. The struggle becomes too damn real. Your life may very well just be a colossal mess. It's all a blur. What you need is some chaos control. 

Remember when the Nintendo GameCube was a thing? I vividly can picture getting one for my first Christmas at my new house when my family moved to Cincinnati from Fairax, VA wayback when in 2001. We had Super Smash Bros. Melee at first and the game is still a throwback classic but my brother ended up buying this epic game, Sonic Adventure Battle 2. The story just went on and on. Level after level came and went. Multiple modes, tasks, and special items to find just kept going. The game was so damn complicated but ended in this massive ending boss battle where you the main protagonist and antagonist have to team up to use "chaos control" and become the ultimate weapon. Chaos control. I don't know why that cry has stuck with me all these years. Sonic and Shadow just were covered in this glistening bright gold sheen and they went full boss mode. When everything was going haywire around them they were in control of their world, their lives, their fates. Sometimes I wonder what they looks like in my own life. Are there times where I just have to go hard and unlock my inner superhero to save no one else but myself? Maybe chaos control is more tangible then I ever really thought.

If I tell you that this week was one of those weeks where all hell broke loose I would not be embellishing in the slightest because it most definitely was. The big project that I'd made a dent in finally came down to the wire Wednesday. I spent my evening at my first campus newspaper meeting with "The Cynic" and RallyThon (UVM's version of a dance marathon) before heading home to spend the entirety of the night citing sources, making comparisons, and tying my senior research paper together. It was one night of fruit snacks, juice, and vine breaks but there was literally no sleep for my weary self and before I knew it Thursday was upon me. I finished my paper, went to shoot an episode of my TV show with the topic of #Ferguson and powered through my journalism and "Seeing the Sacred" classes. If only that had been the end of my day. I had a small respite where I ventured into prepubescent territory in viewing Girl Meets World and the Thundermans (guilty pleasures for days). Night fell and with it came the weight of finishing up planning my fraternity's brotherhood retreat but 9PM came and I was tasked with organizing our brotherhood bowling event. We loaded up in multiple cars are rolled out like a Fast and Furious street chase (minus the explosions and hazardous driving). Honestly, the night was fantastic. I challenged Willy, Kyle, and my friends from 1in4, Zander and Elliot, on our lane while a solid 20 other brothers from my chapter and Delta Upsilon mixed, mingled, and made buddy-buddy. I bowled my first ever turkey (three strikes in a row; thank you JV high school bowling team). It was like the travesty that is Grease 2 minus the cheap leather. Three hours later we were bowled out, full of sketchy pizza, and grinning from ear to ear. I had way too much, and it was exactly what I needed (other than sleep). Another night of staying up to do work didn't do me any good. It was all chaos control.

Mother nature has a way of messing with you when you're most not having it. Friday was this bizarre sleet/snow mix that had me dripping from head to when I made my way to my art history lecture. I smiled through it and went about my day (no need to get hung up on uncontrollably things). I made warm and fuzzy sheets for my brothers and conversed positional stuff with Connor and Will. One more class and then an executive board meeting with our national consultant. It was go time and I raced back to my apartment to pack and gather the final supplies. It was adventure time as Dakota, Kyle, Jack and I travelled to Colchester to invade one of our alumni's apartments. Ice breakers, personal story time, pizza feasting, video games, Catchphrase and fruit snacks battles kept us up until 5AM laughing, messing around, and just enjoying one another's company. It was way too much fun. I always forget how much I truly value having that cooky band of misfits in my life but especially my college experience. Tears were shed, snuggles were had, and hugs were given. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I lay there with the sun rising surrounded by the weird smells of crusty socks, sweaty men, and unattended pizza crusts and smiled. All the chaos was under control. 

Do you ever wake up confused and surrounded by half-clothed men, yeah it happens a little to often for me to call it a rare occurrence. I got up and prepared myself to continue the retreat. Waking up groggy, scruffy, eye-crusty fraternity brothers was peculiarly the highlight of my Saturday #mylife (Greek). Goal-setting, accountability, recruitment scenarios, self-care, and a gratitude circle wrapped up our retreat. We cleaned up, packed up, and shipped out. It was home for me and straight to hit the sheets. Two and a half nights of little to no sleep finally caught up with. I spent the rest of that day in bed passed the hell out. The chaos was taken its toll.

My blog post question for the day is ... when was the last time things got extreme for you? Yeah, this week definitely took it there for me. Has not been this out of control for a long while - that's for sure.