Fifty Shades of Cray
The 20s are all about making your way through a verbal Armageddon. It seems lately that everyone has something to say about apparently everyone else and it's more often than not, something less than benign. It's like all hell has broken loose and the amount of revelation, perception-altering, mind-blowing secret sharing has reached it's near capacitance. The personal apocalypse is coming and people are pulling out all the stops. The revelations are too real and the shadiness is nearing eclipse status. It's fifty shades is cray out here.
Rumors, can't live with them and can't live without them. People constantly have something to say about other people and at a certain point it becomes wholly unnecessary. If you don't have something nice to say about someone then for get staying quiet, make your damn point then simmer the hell down. People may do or say something some mad nasty crazy ish and if course that leave you with a bad after taste in your mouth. But instead of verbally vomiting their nonsense, rinse your mouth and your life of their foolishness and move the heck on. We go through life writing people off like they're parked illegally and deserve tickets. Someone wrongs us once and they no longer exist? Are we really on that level? Are we still playing that petty, basic, immature old game? Are we not better than that. SEPERATE THE DEED FROM THE DOER. Reread that and say it out loud. People do or say messed up things, but they, themselves, are not inherently bad (or good for that matter). You want to know why people never seem to repent for the transgressions against us? We attack the life out of them and put them on permanent defense. Yo, chill with that and fall back. Address the action or statement, the person is a separate entity (responsible nonetheless), but this way you're giving the person space to acknowledge what went down external to themselves. I mean, repeat offenders and heinous crimes, cut that crap off, burn the whole freaking place down, hit your dougie on their metaphorical social grave (with respect to you) but it should rarely come to that. The shade is too strong, all fifty shades of cray are coming out.
Hate is a destructive emotion. Hate is almost as powerful as love in how much it takes out of you. Just like you reserve a special spot in your heart for those you love (those I actively think about having love for aren't that numerous), you do the same for those you hate. Hate is useless, honestly, it means that person is taking up space that voile be better used. They are still having power over you constantly. Hate means you care; hate means you still about them. Let it go. Let them go. Let it all go (did I inadvertently make a Frozen reference). I've said it time and time again, but I mean this with every single part of who I am, forgive YOURSELF (for their inequities) and then forgive THEM (for their transgressions), then expunge them from their residency in your heart. Retaliation, conniving, and all that other premeditated undercover shat does nothing more than continue a cycle of hate. Break it. No more fifty shades of cray.
This week has been a colossal ass mess, plain and simple. Coming back from any break time is always rough because my motivation to get back to work is little to none. I thoroughly enjoyed spring break, seeming the fam-bam, and getting to be the full definition of normal, for me, for a week. Back to VT last Friday where I hung out with my good friend Zach (pizza, chinese, and an awful rom-com the Rebound why Catherine Zeta-Jones why) and did some heavy studying. Monday hit and instantly I was back to the constant crazy. I walked into the student center people were bombarding me with hugs, inquiries of my life, and then my phone just blew up with texts and emails - like dang, give me a minute to ease into all this. Soon enough I was running around campus like a true madman and into the swing of things. Classes, meetings, and so much talking - like wow, how do I end up having such long conversations with people constantly? Wednesday was with the fifty shades of cray had their way with the weather and we legit had a blizzard, just about 26 inches of snow. It was actually insane, and the campus was closed until noon on Thursday morning. Somehow a couple of my classes weren't cancelled so I went and then spent time trading funny stories with one of my favorite people. My fraternity advisor/brother Lane is legit the best. We were supposed to be prepping me for my physics exam the next before just talked about anything and everything for a good two and a half hours. You know when you're having a good conversation and you don't even notice time flying by, that was that.
The next day I went to breakfast that ALANA student center and had a powerfully profound talk with one of their new graduate students, Cat. Before I knew it we were sharing our life stories, casually. I took my exam (only God knows how that went) and then hit random-city with some fraternity life work, a refreshing poetry meditation, a white-allyship meeting, and catching up with my friend/high chancellor himself, Connor. I trekked back to go play tennis with my fraternity big brother, Gabe, but the courts were still turfed over (bitter), so we gave up on exercise and went to each sushi instead. I planned on doing homework or sleeping, but nope, I went to hang out with some of my fraternity brothers and it was chill. Somehow I ended up in front of a TV playing video games, but I ain't mad at it. My roommate, Jake, and I had a sleepover with his best friends Luke and Tanner in our room which was actually middle-school style hilarious. Saturday I worked on RHA stuff (living that visionary life) and did some hardcore crafting (things that shouldn't be together). I spent my evening with a new friend, Chris, which was a welcome and calm change of pace. Homework and emails while catching up with both my little brothers, David and Tanner, before lights out (can you say 3am bedtime everyday this week #mylife).
My blog post question for the day is ... how do you avoid bashing people? Me personally, I just don't talk about them. Me saying "I have nothing to say" about a person, speaks for itself.