Selfie Season

he 20s are all about loving yourself. Every single day we have interactions with other people that either build us up or tear us down. We don't seem to take the proper time to take care of ourselves and repair the harm down after the not-so uplifting instances. It can leave our reflections of ourselves severely distorted and ultimately broken. We deserve to be happy with who we are. We need to be so. We have to be that way or life becomes unbearable. You've got to learn who you are. It's selfie season, get ready.

The latest trend to sweep the nation (aka the world cause apparently we Americans have no larger context #culturalracism) is the selfie. It's a simple thing, taking a picture of yourself. Who would have thought the simple act of photographing yourself would cause such a big uproar and completely shake up the social scene. You're behind on pop culture if you didn't see the epic star-studded selfie Ellen DeGeneres took at the Oscars which broke the record for most favorite and retweeted tweet of all time. People are taking selfies everywhere, even some places where they probably shouldn't (funerals, in a bathroom stall, while driving, etc.). I'm sorry but a snapchat is never worth your life. If you vine or snap while driving, you're doing it wrong and taking a major unnecessary risk.The selfie gets a bad rap for no really good reasons (in my calm, objective opinion). Some people think those who take selfies are shallow, self-absorbed, and narcissistic (don't you love those mythological stories). I would beg to differ and argue that selfies are positive for each and everyone of us. Before we can share our appreciation or admiration for others, we have to love ourselves. We have to love who we are and also the way we look. When you get constant messages that you don't look like you're "supposed" to (#sorrynotsorry I'm not a swoopy haired dreamy white boy with abs, an Urban Outfitters wardrobe and wannabe hipster beanie) also known as the social standards we indirectly try to live up to (thank you to the media; shattering positive self-images nationwide), it's easy to not be in to yourself.
 
Selfies are appreciation for yourself and don't let anyone tell you that it's not okay. You can cheer you up better than yourself. Who knows your flaws, imperfections and quirks more than you? Who do you get to look at in a mirror other than you? You'd better like - no forget that, love the hell out of what you see. We are pretty, cute, hot, handsome, sex, and desirable in all senses of the word if we think ourselves to be. I'll admit this year I've struggled more than ever with having not only self-confidence but a strong self-esteem and a positive body image. People don't understand the power of their words (to all you who get think that people are "too sensitive" or "shouldn't let words hurt" you, you don't choose how you feel, you just feel; that's why they're called feelings). Little comments like "you should eat a sandwich, you're like a stick, you look like a third-world refugee, you look weird, you're too dark, your lips are too big, your feet are so massive, you need to gain weight, do you ever eat, why are your eyes so dark, you need to go to the gym" and the list goes on and on weigh heavy bring down your self-image. It's like being plastered up on a billboard as a portrait of yourself and passerbys tearing it down, circling your insecurities and graffitiing all over you. Tell me that it doesn't make you self-conscience whenever someone comments on your appearance. Yeah, you can ignore people but those little digs still chip away of the mosaic that is you. It's selfie season, prepare your camera roll to be bombarded. 

First of all, half those comments are loaded with some casual racism (my skin is beautiful and naturally rich in tone), so check that underlying bias. Can we please talk about the hypocrisy about the whole tanning obsession, because (excuse the generalization), black people are "too dark" and yet some (not all) white people tan to darken their skin. How can people say that pale people look sickly or unhealthy in their NATURAL skin color? Get that nonsense out of here, whatever your skin color, own it. Secondly, cut the body policing, I don't see your badge or certification to do so (cause it doesn't exist)? You like to work out, good for you - do I care, uh .... nope, not at all. Here's the thing, YOUR OPINION about ME is IRRELEVANT. It is unnecessary; it is unwarranted; it is unhelpful. You don't get to have an opinion on the way I look. If everyone had it their way, everyone would look like themselves.  But that's not the way the freaking world works. Let people love and feel comfortable in their own skin. I'll eat or not eat whatever I want, I will hit the gym if and when I ever feel like it, and I can't do anything about my body features (plastic surgery is another topic for another time). Deal with it. How you think people should look can only be applied to you.

Continue to work on you, bulk up, slim down, do whatever the hell you want but my ass could care less, feel free to kiss it if you have a problem with MY body. How you look has nothing to do with me. As long as you are okay with the way you look and you feel good about it, that's all that matters. Screw everybody else and the idealized version of what it means to look good because it's dangerously exclusive. People are vomiting in bathroom stalls, cutting themselves, embarking on unhealthy diets, starving themselves, eating their feelings, obsessively working out and so much more that we don't see or know about. So many disorders can stem from the criticality of society and the people in it. Keep your comments to yourself, you have no idea what someone could be struggling with. I'm so truly over people calling other HUMAN BEINGS ugly, repulsive, hideous, or disgusting. We get it, you're not attracted to everyone, and that's fine but you don't get to name call and destroy someone's semblance of self. There's not a single way to be beautiful. Everyone and I mean absolutely everyone exemplify it differently. Great you're a traditional hottie but writing people off because of arbitrary things like acne, a mole, crooked teeth is actually ridiculous. Don't even get me started on how people write others off for being larger (size or height) and even more vehemently for deformities or disabilities. Now that is the definition of something worthy of disgust. How totally artificial can you be? Challenging social indoctrinations of what a "good-looking" person looks like is a profoundly powerful thing ... try it sometime. Selfie season is for all of us. 

An ode to flaws - I love my gigantic teeth (my orthodontist almost had to special order a larger braces kit), my flat big ole flipper feet, my pouty lip game (soft and succulent so come at me), the random dimples that appear when I frown, my chicken pox scars on my nose and forehead, my deep brown eyes (leave you searching for more), my hypercurly hair (not yours to touch #microaggression), the perfectly symmetrical m's seemingly carved in my palms, my sweaty innie belly button, my overactive  armpit sweat glands and my lack of muscular definition (cause bodybuilding was never a life goal). I most of all love my complexion of medium brown with light undertones skin. I love me, whether you do or not is besides the point. Selfie season is daily for this guy #hotanddangerous. 

#Selfie Song Review - probably one of the most lyrically shallow sobs of all time. A party girl ranting about her potential booty call, alcohol, cigarettes and going in hardcore on other people. Her voice is annoying as hell and has that stereotypical superficial tone which is perfect for the song. The music itself is infectiously catchy and will get you turnt in 10 seconds flat. The music video is literally the girls freshening up in at a club in a bathroom. Best lyrics "Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. Oh wait, nevermind I'm fine." Get ready this song every time you go out because it's about to take over as a staple party song. Truly a viral hit and we'll leave it at that. Extra points for creating a vine trend. 

How to take a selfie:

• Hold your camera about an arm's length away from you 
• Find the the best angle and the best lighting possible (keep in mind it might not be level with your face)
• Pose (salute, peace around the eyes, pout, smile, smirk, wide open eyes, smizing, or whatever you want to do) - make sure you are looking at the camera; tilt your head, have at least 50% of your face in the picture 
• Snap the picture and you're golden (easy on the filters though) 

*This is an PSA for taking a selfie with a POC, especially black people - give us some damn light. Don't you dare post a dark ass picture of us, it's not a good look at all. Flash washes you out, so turn the damn lights on or let's get some of that sunlight. If you're applying a filter it better make me vivid not like a smiling moon emoji

My blog post question for the day is ... what's your favorite selfie pose? I would have to go with the one eye closed, lip bite - that is the quintessential thirst trap face.