Build A Boy Workshop

The 20s are all about challenging social norms. There's this unwritten narrative of how you're supposed to interact with someone you have interest in. It's like a Disney movie where characters spontaneously burst into synchronized song and dance without prior rehearsal (#HSM2). We beat around the bush. We play games. We follow rules that we had no part in making up and have no idea why they exist. What's a world without rules? Anarchy you say, well time to write some new courting rules. This is the build a boy workshop. 

*This post is for all those out there with little to no game, because why play games when you're already a winner #damn.
 

Let me just start by saying there's no such thing as a perfect person. Who we come into contact with to even potentially  make moves with depends on mostly where we live. Our selection pool is greatly limited but still is pretty large when college becomes our new sample size. What makes a person attractive? I understand it's unique to every person but I've recently come to realize just how different what gets my blood pumping is compared to other guys. I think the hottest thing a girl can do is be self-assured. People seem to travel in packs, the leader is the one most distinguishable and usually able to strike out on their own. That's the girl that piques my interest. She's bossed up. She's running the show; she walks in front, and she's independent. Not to disregard the others but there's a reason one person stands out. It's the girl who has a voice and uses it wisely that catches my attention. The one not afraid to speak up and out when she's knowledgeable about a topic. A girl who's funny and laughs like it's her day job knows the way to my heart. The smile that comes across a girl's face right after she's done laughing gets me right in the feels. I think girl's who keep it real at all times are unbelievably attractive. When someone is genuine, let's their quirky little habits and endearingly cute imperfections through, it means a lot. Most definitely at my school, all the girls who have caught my eye have been the not so mainstream, not every guy is hounding (like true dogs), comfortably clothed girls. You know what's sexy, a girl who dresses for herself and no one else. Like damn, take me now. The girl that can have me is the one that makes me want to know more about her. I want the Nancy Drew, the Olivia Pope, the Diaries version of Carrie Bradshaw, the Chloe Sullivan, the freaking Claire Huxtable. What's beautiful to me is a woman who finds beauty within herself. Build a boy workshop keeps cranking us out. 

There will be a day, hopefully, when a girl will give me an actual answer as to why some girls like bad boys. These dudes that are slightly uncorked and totally unpredictable. They are the risk takers. The uncertain ones that keep you guessing and playing all those insane games of "will he, won't he." Why would anyone want that? I mean do you and all but why pursue someone who may not even be interested in you, let alone give you the time of day? Why chase after a guy who only wants to break your heart, use you and lose you? Why pursue the wrong guy when you actively know he's the villain? It blows my mind honestly. You know what I think it is, some girls have been so ingrained in the socialization of interacting with a prospect, that they've come to expect these roundabout romps. I'm saying girl, liberate yourself from the nonsense. Aren't you tired of it? The ambiguity of who is whose and who's been with who, who has feelings for you, who is playing who, has to be tiring. Riddle me this - a guy who is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and interested in you is right in front of you, but the dude in the back that has that "je ne sais pas" swagger catches your eye? Excuse me for treating a girl with respect, value, and appreciation was correct instead of shaking and baking them left and right. You separate the deed from the doer but damn the doer can be dense sometimes. Are we still at the point where raw raunchy physical attraction trumps everything?  I mean, if you think someone is hot, that's fine but good looks (in your opinion cause it's relative to you, major BTW) can only mean so much. You may want to jump a guy's bones but is your thirst that real? Are you exploding with lady boners and salivating emojis? Do personality, interests, or attitude even cross your mind? Maybe it's an immature choice because the guy who may (not always) be the best choice can be easily overlooked. Play games all you want, when you're done, come and have an actual conversation. The saying nice guys finish last is an understatement,  sometimes we don't even get to enter the race at all.  You choose who you want and hope they choose you back.  Don't wait too long to come to the realization that we're what you need and should want, not what you desire now, or we could be taken. Oh we definitely finish, and we're the ones that get away. Can we talk about "talking" for a hot second? Are we still in high school or naw? We all know that meant people were planning musical chairs with a single chair left in the center. Either sit on each other's laps or stop. Talking is really double speak for playing word games. It's like the pre-relationship that can end up being a big ass waste of time if people are talking to multiple people at the same damn time. You don't have to be mutually exclusive but leading people on is a real thing.  Say you what you mean, or stop talking ... please! Build a boy all day, every day.

The thing about me is I'm the boy breaking all the boundaries and keeping it so 100 that people don't know what to do. Guys are frustrated because they actually have to try now and girls are having their expectations surpassed. I'm doing, saying, and meaning the things that we learn to value growing up but give up as impossible when we enter the dating game. I'm singlehandedly slaying hearts just by being me inadvertently. I'm quite possibly the cutest (excuse this big ole hyperbole) boy in the whole damn workshop (what's not cute is my awareness of it). Honestly, what I unknowingly gave up in college was even the chance of a love life. Student leading not only has physically made me inaccessible (I mean you could visit my office hours and just stare at my face while I organized & planned) but created an unattainable air about me. (I'm going to get so much crap for this metaphor but whatever) It's like being an Oscar in a trophy case, admired from afar. You can open the case and take me out, I can be life-size (but that movie sequel tho?). It's lonely at the top (shoutout my friend Maché for speaking the twitter truth). I'll remind you that race does matter (like always - but I already wrote that post - "Never Been Kissed"). I get the "you're so cute, you're lovable, I would date you in a second, marry me," and especially "you're the perfect guy." Why then is the "perfect guy" perfectly single? I understand gender roles and know that I have to court the girl, but Juliet, Rapunzel, Princess Leia, whoever the heck you are, throw me a rose, some hair, or a lightsaber. Tell me you like me. Wouldn't this world be simpler if we just stated our feelings? It would take some real courage but would save us all a lot of time. I'm just saying not only do I love to cook, but I write poetry, enjoy cleaning, dress well, watch TV dramas and rom-com movies. Plus I can actually talk about my feelings if need be and will dance with you in public - like hello, does that not entertain you? Lastly, we all know my ambitious self is going places so let's be real. You can build a boy all you want but you have to be willing to compromise somewhere along the way. Do something bold and break the mold. Be you and screw social norms, if you like someone ... tell them (I'll take my own advice kindly). It's actually been ridiculous, even spring break I'll catch a cute girl across the way checking me out, and I'm like okay, but that's it. Not a hi, a hello, or a hey. I'm up for grabs, perpetually, end the cycle. Build a boy into a man.

Build a boy workshop doesn't exist for a reason. We all have flaws, imperfections and quirks, take us or leave us. The relationships that start out white hot and smolder to a sultry burn are the ones based on more than pure physical attraction. Hunks, studs, and those of us life-ruining cute ones, take your pick and look past the plastic box on the outside. Movable parts and catch phrases can only take you so far. Lastly, dude you can compliment or acknowledge another guy is good looking without having your heterosexuality questioned, that's a thing.  K, done ... bye

My blog post question for the day is ... who's your celebrity crush? AnnaSophia Robb and Keke Palmer, always and forever. Put together, classy, and absolutely gorgeous