Cutoff Season

The 20s are all about surrounding yourself with positivity. There is nothing better in this world than the love of friendship. It's crazy when you think about it. You find someone who you like even with all their weird quirks, flaws, and annoying things they do, and they find the same in you and then you decide you want to stay connected for life. What an endeavor and a beautiful one at that. Friends have so much power in your life and those who are around you have a major impact on how you see yourself and your daily successes. The reality is not everyone is can or should be your friend. Other times you have to let people go. When that time comes it's cutoff season.

Think of it like you're a team captain or a coach and it's draft day. It's the day you're choosing who makes it to play for you and who is asked to leave the team. Some people have been there for a while and have their contracts renewed yearly and others are brand new and are invited into your life for the very first time. Then there's the people who no longer are working out for your team and need to be let go. They have to be cut, traded, or sent to the outer leagues. Whatever you want to call it, some people just have to go. This Lauren Conrad quote is everything right now and so damn perfect for this. "Until you treat me like a friend, I’m not going to talk to you like one" and that's the attitude you take lest you reconcile your situation. "Sometimes you have people in your life who you just can’t be friends with" and that's the realest of them all. It just does not work. It's too much to ask of anyone. It's not a reciprocal balanced relationship. If you realize that your friend wouldn't do half the things you've done for them out of their own good will, that's when you understand how much they seriously did not care about your existence more than to be a resource for use. Hell to the no, that's not going to be okay. Cutoff, you're the weakest link and you need to be broken. Let the shackles of your oppression be broken. Let me be set free from this prison. Let me escape from your poison. Sure, relationships take work, but work means two people coming together to do so. If I'm doing all the work, that's not friendship, that's tyranny. Cut that ish off.
If you want to be happy, make sure you have happy people around you. All your friends should bring you up and never tear you down. If a friend doubts your dreams, makes fun of your goals, or doesn't have any of their own then they may not be the best for you. If you leave your interactions feeling less than, belittled, unintelligent, patronized, or mocked, then maybe it's time to reevaluate who you allow into your life. If you always have your energy from coming into contact with a friend something is not right. I'm telling you to cut that ish off legitimately. If it takes you deleting that contact, then obliterate that nonsense. Unfriend the hell out of them on Facebook, unfollow on twitter, block on Instagram, whatever you have to do to move the hell on, do it. This person no longer needs to exist the in the context of your world, GTFO. Skidaddle. Scram. You don't have to go home but you had better swerve out of here ASAP. Most people can take a hint, and you just spend little to no time with them until they latch on to someone else. You're free. You're finished. You're finally able to be the best version of yourself. People always say to not drop your friends but sometimes you just have to. Do your best to be upfront about your feelings and be real with your delivery. Mention how your friend makes you feel, if they're willing to work on their bad habits and you're okay with waiting for them, then do so. If your friend is noncompliant with your needs to have a strong self-esteem, positive self-image, and independence then it may be time just to kick them out of the locker room and change the locks. Done deal, wash your hands of it, and relish in your newfound autonomy. Cuttoff season is here.

Terrible Traits of a Toxic Friend:
They put you down (mocking, vulgarity, you as a punchline)  negativity (always seeing the worst of situations, constant complaining) victimizing (everything happens to this person)  flakiness (does not respect your time; last minute cancellations; long periods of absence)  lack of accountability (does not take responsibility for actions/words or their impact)  one-sidedness (friendship seems like work; always you giving and not receiving anything in return) self-obsession (only talks about their life, problems, needs etc.) lack of support (does not ask about you or your life, unreliable, unhelpful)  gossip (talks about you behind your back) violation of privacy (shares things you shared in confidence)  jealousy (does not celebrate or value your successes) - *

This school year I decided to be the happiest I've ever been and a major part of that has been rearranging how who I let be in my life and how much time I spend with them (instead of doing things to/for them). I'm done giving up everything including my time, money, and energy on people who are unwilling to return the favor. If I'm not appreciated, then what's the point. One person can only give so much of themselves before there's nothing left. I have so many people in my life who value me wholeheartedly and make me feel good. I appreciate them so damn much. There's no need for me to ever feel bad especially because of a "friend." You're not my "friend" you're an enemy in disguise. I'm so happy to done with all of it. Some people just aren't worth it. None of it. I won't miss you and how you made me feel. I'm better without you and I'm not going back. Lose my number, don't add me on facebook, delete my snapchat contact and let's go our separate ways. Whether or not you realize how much you needed me is irrelevant, because I, as in me, myself, and I, do not need you. I wish you nothing but the best, but you weren't the best for me and I deserve better. Really look at the people in your life and do what you have to. At the end of the day, you have to lookout for yourself, you sanity, and your self perception. You've been cutoff, I kindly invite you to transition out of my life aka get the actual hell out. You're dimissed. K, bye. The General is no more. LC keeps the quotes going, "You can never make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake; it’s a choice." Know that you have the power now and what you do, even if it's so hard, is worth it because otherwise you're enabling unacceptable behaviors. And when it all goes down and people realize they're being removed from your life and they try latch back on, but you're not having any of their nonsense you remember to stay strong and adamant. LC is too damn quotable, "As soon as you stop thinking about them, they’ll send you a text message or they’ll call you, because they know you just stopped thinking about them. It’s like radar." That awkward moment when you finally stop contacting them and they realize that you're missing, and desperately try and reconnect with you. Sorry not sorry but this phone is no longer receiving calls fom fake people. Speaking of fake people, there's no such thing. It's just people actually showing who they really are, it's authentically real but just not someone you want to be around. Cutoff season for days.

My blog post question for the day is ... when was the last time you separated from a friend? I think for me this is the first time since coming to college but I'm ready to get back to being me. Bring in the fun version of  me and let's go. I've got a game to play and win ... it's called life.


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