Resilience

Truth - It is not the end until the end arrives. Prematurely counting yourself out does nothing for you other than take you out of the equation. Sometimes breaking down is part of the process but what comes next is the important part. You build yourself back up, put yourself back together, and you press on. What other option is there? Bounce back, move ahead, and find your resilience. 

 

"All of us need to begin to think in terms of our own inner strengths, our resilience and resourcefulness, our capacity to adapt and to rely upon ourselves and our families."

Steven Pressfield

Each year begins with the cliché sentiment of starting over but the point that is missed in understanding yourself to be restarting is that you don't really ever do so. We are the sum of our identities, beliefs, actions, words, and experiences. Our past, to some extent, writes our futures. We have to acknowledge where we came from, who we have been, and what we have done before we can propel ourselves forward. People do change. We do it constantly. Does that mean we are never not actually being ourselves? No, rather each time we chage we are being the version of our selves that we can be in certain moments. Maybe some days we are unable to choose our best selves, or the self we like most of all. Sometimes the self that shows up isn't particularly our favorite, or might just downright be the worst of who we are. Regardless, that person is still us and while we may strive to leave our less than desirable parts behind, they are nonetheless part of what makes us whole. The difference is we have to be cognizant of how, when, and why they make an appearance, if ever. 

Forget resolutions this year, what needs to happen is a resolution to reunite with ourselves. Who are we? Who were we? Who will we be? The common denominator through it all is us, ourselves. What happens to us transfigures us and yet somehow we are still us. No matter what, I am still me. That is so profound. How is it possible that we can go through so much and yet be the same person? Well that answer is inherent. Who else would be? Our only option is to be ourselves complete with all our insecurities, flaws, and scars. With that person does come our beauty, inside and out, in addition to our gifts, stories, and personalities. How do we move forward after being knocked down? Simple, we look inward to find that you that is most fierce, ambitious, and agile. You bring that you out again. You laugh at your enemies, giggle at your woes, and disregard your nostalgia for simpler times. You're you. Don't you get what that means? You're the best you. That person is always there. We have to strive to be that person as much as possible. In that person, lies the greatest power to overcome hardship and profoundly change the world. That person has resilience. 

My only resolution this year is to be the best me possible. That's it. No gimmicks, sleights of hand, or tricks needed. It may mean different things throughout the year. It can range from taking charge of my self care, being bold in making sure I am feeling fulfilled, or demonstrating kindness towards others. I know it's laughing big and loud. It's smiling unrelentingly. It's having fun whenever possible. It's carrying myself with hope, compassion and optimism. At other times it will be feeling all my emotions and embracing them wholeheartedly. That doesn't mean I will never be sad but even in those times, I will be sure to find something to be gracious for. It's those times where I'm convinced I cannot be my best self and still finding ways to have this wonderful person shine through, even if it is the smallest of ways. Whether it's answering a question with brave honesty, giving someone my full attention, or going out of my way to do something worthwhile for someone else. That is what I resolve to do. 

In doing so though what I know will be even more important than looking for those opportunities to bring my best me out is both knowing when I don't have to be that person and even more when I can help others be that person too. The former is oh so very difficult. There are times when you can't do anymore and you can't quite give your all. That is more than okay. In fact, it's quite healthy. Being on all the time is exhausting. I think that's why can be so many versions of ourselves in the first place. Know when you cannot be any more. As for the latter, that's a task to be accomplished daily or as often as possible. That light that illuminates us when we shine has the potential to tap into someone when they are latent for a day. It's the little things that we do to acknowledge we recognize other people. The compliments, the genuine gratitude, the extra attention, and the showing of affection. Whether we know people or not, we know their humanity and that is what is most important. You never know when what you do or say will call forth someone's best self. You can spark the resilience of someone else. 

To this year, I say bring it on and prefer for me to stay present, humbled, and in the thick of it. It's going to be challenging in so many ways, and even more so in ways that I am unable to predict. Through it all though, I have myself and all my capabilities. If ever I shall blunder, let others light my path back to seeing my best self emerge. May I stumble and arise. May I shower others with love. And most of all, may I be successful in being me and helping others be themselves. X