Homesick

The 20s are all about adjustments. The thing about college is that every year, every month, every week, and every single day are different. You literally never know what will happen. For me it feels like a random compilation of horribly epic awkward moments, and naively innocent oversights. It's a place of novelty, danger, and knowledge. It's like some sort of twisted social experiment (like the Real World); late teens and early twenty-somethings picked to live on campus and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. But what happens when you want miss home. This is homesick.

The school year has barely started and I already want to go home. It's like I dread every single day being here. Whether it's because this semester has come with the biggest changes so far, or that nonsense last weekend or a genuine distress over being so far from home, the world may never know. I would venture not very far to say that the feelings of homesickness would be a compilation of all three. It's like I have no intention of being here, will make no efforts to enjoy it and will forget be pretending to be happy. What's wrong with me? Why am I feeling this a junior in college. I must finally be over the newness of college, done with the immature debauchery, over the ignorance and most of all finished with the atmosphere. As a pretty conservative kid from the Midwest, Burlington, Vermont provides a stark contrast to every lifestyle I'm used to. But that's not the cause of the homesickness, yes I miss my family, house, room, bed and endless list of "luxuries" (for me they're just mundane normalcies) but I think most of all I think it's being heard and understood. This so-called "open" place is (if I am to make a broad generalization) totally judgmental. I do not conform. I do not fit in. I'm an anomaly and I'm perfectly fine with that, I guess it's just other people who have a problem with it. I can't stand being labeled or name-calling (well rather bestowing in this case). Just because my lifestyle is different, my actions and behavior are not conducive to yours does not make me immature, inexperienced or sheltered. I'm pretty sure you don't have try every single thing under the sun to know whether or not it's right for you.  Let me do you and you sorta about yourself. Stop checking for me, I sure as hell am not concerned with your daily decisions. Don't claim to accept all people and then condemn them for not being exactly like you. Maturity is being able to respect people's ideas and choices, without judgment. Apply your opinions to yourself and no one else. I miss home because that is the place where of course my opinions are actually popular, but even more so respected and never invalidated. I'm not a fan of taking people's advice, while I'll listen to it, I ultimately decide who I want to be. Decide for yourself and leave the rest of us out of it. Homesickness is a very real thing. 

This week has been absolutely outrageous. It's been so random and nothing like I would have predicted. As a person who likes their life planned out with as much foresight as possible, this week pretty much said you'd better deal with things and people as they're thrown at you. Classes started this week and all of mine of quirky in their own way. Both my religion classes are definitely going to intrigue me (thank goodness I changed my major) and my professors are characters in their own wright. My Latin class however is a fast paced wild ride of uncertainty, even though it's supposed to be elementary status. I come out of their dazed and confused every time, like what actually just happened. To this day, my professor still has not introduced himself to us or learned our names (they're goal 15 people in our class). Finally, there's physics which is just an ordeal. Kind of familiar to me since I studied it over the summer for the MCAT, but the class is massive and the body odor, sweat stains and heat in that room are unreal. I sit randomly every class, with a haphazard mix of like every acquaintance I'd come across in college so far. My froworker (friend/co-worker on RHA) Brendan, as well as old suitemate Jimmy and the ever elusive yet incomparably witty Mac (from my political-science class last spring) all make guest appearances. Sleep wise, it's nap central in the sweltering heat. At night my floor of nearly all first years (or at least the people who congregate outside my room) are still adjusting to college and living the night life, which means little sleep for this guy. I'm honestly excited to get to know some of them, a few seem promising to properly carry a conversation (sorry society has told guys to speak as little and express the least bit possible). On top of all this is all my extracurriculars in addition to actually being social on a nearly daily basis. RHA office hours, meetings, and tons of fraternity bonding sessions. I hung out with my buddy, Tyler, and spent quality time with my bros Campbell, Dom and Jake. It's a crazy life. Walking on campus is kind of hectic, too many people to talk to at once. I'm trying to be "normal" (whatever that means) and am slowly realizing that I never will be. I'm homesick but making it through. 

Homesickness Cures
Call Home - phone, Skype or FaceTime your family, those comforting voices and even seeing their recognizable faces may be all you need to keep calm

Check in - my friends from home I talk to every couple of weeks and it's to make sure they're okay and give the condense highlights of their lives, just to let them know you still exist and care; I still talk to my buddy Jeff nearly everyday though (not including excessive snapchatting)

Food/TV -  have your parents mail some of your favorites, or find some local cuisine that mimics what you're used to, get off campus and eat out. Watch your favorite shows online or go to the movies. Anything to take your mind off of missing home. 

Socializing - make friends, and interact with them; you're here and you might as well make the most of it. Be social, be engaged and be present 

The 20s are all about living in a new environment. Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. Life is ephemeral, it is fleeting, and a dynamic driving force. Regardless of whether you are prepared or not, you are tasked with dealing with wherever you are. You may want to go home, you may despise everything about where you are, but at the end of the day, you're there for a purpose. When you're done, you can move on. Put being homesick on the backburner and focus on what matters ... finishing.

My blog post question for the day is ... how do you deal with your homesickness? Well I facetime my sister pretty much every other day, and that usually does the trick, but also at the same time makes it worse. It's rough life