Shoutout to Big G

The 20s are all about understanding the world your own way. When people say, college is where religion goes to die, they're not lying. No one can warn you enough, but being religious (in the traditional sense of the word; we all have our own personal religions, rituals, beliefs, spiritualties etc.) gets more than a bad rap. It gets vitriolic disdain or all out namecalling of stupidity, ignorance and primitiveness (important to note that mainstream Protestantism has for all intensive purposes done the same to all those who's beliefs differ; within this context even in the minority, Christianity is the power-holding (getting to be determine which religious practices are normal/socially acceptable) religion in America). No matter what you go through, you have what you believe in to fall back on, right? Shoutout to big G.

Big G, also kwown as the Christian deity (God, the Father, Yahweh etc.) is wholeheartedly who I'm referring to. This post was a little harder to write then I thought it would be. After owning that I'm in a privileged position in regards to religious identity, I thought about my experience at a majority liberal, self-identified as non-religious institution/location and while I have no intention of belittling the experience of people who don't identify with any Abrahamic religions, the impact may be just the same. Forgive me in advance. Being in college I feel like has stifled my religious identity. For 18 years of my life I spent on my church flow, dressed up, praising the Lord, and spouting off scriptures like the lyrics to that popular radio song. When I shipped off to pursue that higher education I was disconnected from my classically west-African Pentecostal church. The first few weeks of school my first year, I shopped around churches but didn't find one that fit for me so I ended up not going anymore. Slowly, over time instead of having God be at the forefront of my mind at all times, it's now a concerted effort to think of Him and to rely on his abilities. Instead of praying before every meal, I would just dig in and hope for the best. My morning prayers became considerably shorter from half an hour to just a few minutes. I felt restless and unmoved by the spirit. During my first two years of college I attributed my not to so good grades in my difficult science classes to my waning fervor in faith for God. Instead of calling upon the Lord when I needed him most, I relied on my worldly and greatly limited abilities to try and overcome the impossible, the end result - nothing. I thought to myself, why has God forsaken me? The answer was rhetorical, because I had forsaken him. He was no longer the most important thing in my life. I was self-righteous, and dangerously unapologetic. Everything I achieved, I thought was my on my own might and through merit. My conversations were more like random snapchats only when I needed him most. That was the problem. I wrote God out of my college story and suffered the consequences of being of the world instead of just being in it. My college atmosphere was/is not conducive to Christian ideals. People have a wide array of beliefs ranging from atheism and apathy to Islam, Judaism, Christianity etc. Christianity is not a good look around here. People will let you know just how stupid they think you are for believing in a higher power, how disgusting you make them feel for your assumed opposition towards homosexuality, and inferred judge-mentality concerning all sins. To say I chose to hide my Christianity might be a stretch, but I definitely wasn't fulfilling the scriptures and sharing the good news of Christ Jesus. I prayed silently, mouthing the words, fearing ridicule from anyone who may hear me. Fasting was out the picture and if anyone ever found out about my faith, I got the third degree in a rundown of what I was supposed to know/believe about my own religion. I never stopped believing in God, and I never will, for he has not, nor will he ever give up on you. Big shoutout to big G.

Whenever people wonder about me, eventually they ask me what I believe. My existence doesn't make sense to people. A twenty-nothing boy who's compassion seems to know no-limits, and a strong moral conviction, like why do I exist ... oh probs because big G and I are kind of tight. Now you've figured me out and how I'm able or why I do the things I do. I'm a Christian. There, I said it. This year I've been saying forget everyone else and I'm going to do me. I can choose to pray silently or out loud, use that anointing oil, meditate upon his presence, read my "daily bread" and pray for all the people I know. Whether you believe in God or not, that's irrelevant to me - I choose to believe in God. Me as a singular person. I'm not checking for you, and you can feel free to check for me, but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. My beliefs are nothing but that my beliefs. You're entitled to yours just as much as I'm entitled to mine. Let people live, they way they want to. Free from judgment and persecution (ironic since my religion has been judging and persecuting people since it's inception #awkward) we should all get to live - that may not be how the way the world works, but that's the way it should (at least in my opinion). I don't believe in universal truth, but I do believe in a personal truth for me. God exists to me and that's all that matters. Shoutout to Big G.

The 20s are all about believing in what you believe. Whatever gets you through the day, the month, the year - thanks your prerogative. Nobody should have the right to tell you what you believe. Freedom of religion means you can practice whatever your like, but when your actions because of your beliefs start encroaching upon the freedoms of others, that's when we have a problem. Shoutout to Big G. 

My blog post question for the day is ... how do you describe your religious beliefs? You all know I'm a big fan in God, or as I like to call Him, Big G. All the reason I need is with him indeed.


Popular posts from this blog

Man Down


Trust Issues