Freaks and Geeks

The 20s are all about pushing your limits. We as people are capable of doing far more than we ever think possible. One of the many things that limits us is ourselves, our will to try and our fear that we an unable. We are stronger than we think. We know more than we think. We are simpler than we think as well. There are common threads that unite us all, no matter how different we appear to be. We're self-centered because we see the world through our own eyes (is there any other way?) but we learn about how much we can push ourselves before we break. Freaks and geeks all agree, there's more to each of us than meets the eye. 

#WeAreNotInvisible (UVM BSU Flash Mob) - (I'm in the black sweatshirt & khaki pants)

One of the biggest differences between college and high school is the fact that your intelligence and your ability aren't actively used to separate you. I spent my primary school years with the same students who were all in my honors and AP courses. After being identified as "gifted" in third grade the entire course of my primary school experience changed. I was forever one of the "smart" kids. Knowledge is power but not knowing something does not mean you're not as smart as someone, just not as well-versed or educated on a topic. Intelligence has been measured in so many different ways. If my IQ is 126, what does that even mean - gifted/talented and ... so what. In college intelligence shows up in very different ways than you're used to. It's more than being able to read a book, comprehend it, and regurgitate the information. College gives room for all types of learners to excel and show what they're good at. People share their passions and their talents every single day. While it seems that most will have that one thing that they really are particularly impressive at, there are a few people in college that seem to be good at everything. Those people are the ones that make you wonder what gifts they've been endowed with. Those are the ones you scratch your head at and stand shocked at their existence. Somehow they do more than an one person should be able to. They defy the college laws of capacity and make it look easy. The thing about them is that we can know exactly what gives them so much endurance, diplomacy and know how. The bottom line is that it's imperative that we remember we all have different capabilities, skills and limits to what we can do. Not everyone is like us - that's a fact that is true regardless of if we accept it - and all we can do is prod people to do a little more, to encourage them, to help them find their motivation with the caveat that most of the time people are doing the best they can. That's all we can ask from them, nothing more. Freaks, geeks and all the rest, does it matter anymore? 

 
This week has been one of the craziest by far. What I was able to accomplish this week was even shocking to myself. It may have ended with a disastrous blow in the form a bombed physics exam but there is a lesson to be learned from all parts of it. For some reason I've had like 5 different people use the same language to ask me "how do I do it all?" Each time it struck me because it's been one of those random questions that you don't really know how to answer. I mean I have my theories on how I came to be this way - that is the quintessential college workaholic. I think our capacities are strengthened and broken constantly during our upbringing and daily experiences. So not only was I "highly intelligent" (ease of comprehension, and logic etc.) but I've been reared with the notion that the only thing that could ever hold me back was my will. My will and my belief in myself can mean astounding things. If I know I want to do something or know something has to get done, it will happen. Having examples of these awe-inspiring people, case in point my parents and older siblings, made me so aware that people truly limit themselves. They don't have faith that they can do something and circularly can't do something because of that disbelief. I've seen firsthand my parents push miraculously through where others would falter. I've seen my older brothers start to literally change the world. I know within myself that I'm meant to be more than ordinary (whether it's true or not is irrelevant, because that's been decided in me means it will happen by shear will alone). The most powerful thing a family, teachers or friends can give a person is not just access to resources but words of assurance that they can achieve seemingly-impossible things (literally demolishing the definition of impossible). Believe it or not, my existence in college seems basic to me and impressive to others. The only thing stopping is ourselves, physically and mentally. Call me a freak or a geek, neither are correct, I am anomaly (excuse the unintentional narcissism - last semester me is annoying as hell; tragic hero moment). 
 
Looking back at this week all I really have to say is wow. Thank freaking goodness I'm me and gosh darn it, why am I me, at the same damn time. No one man should have all this power, but even more so this responsibility (most of it self-enacted BTW). I'll highlight big things from the week like finally doing our exec board photoshoot for RHA (being comfortable in your own skin shows in photos); riffing off of sex talk material in co-hosting a "Sex in the Dark" anonymous Q&A; balancing late-night studying and conversation (with the enigma that is Mac); being part of a viral video flash mob anti-invisibility for POC; designing kick ass posters/buttons for an equity week movement; socializing at a fraternity pizza making night; making it through a 14 hour day complete with scandalous revelations and major award winning (Phi Mu Delta fraternity for chapter of the year). Last but not least was a great orientation leader interview (I hope), the exam failure (#workinprogress) and a breath-taking Friday adventure (walking on a frozen Lake Champlain). Mind you that I haven't properly slept since Sunday, am getting sick and noticing the early signs of delirium #NBD. So first of all, self-care is a real thing. I'm the worst example so get some damn sleep, eat healthy and take personal time for yourself. If I collapse this would be why. Through the week I made time to do what I always do and not only listen but hear people for who more than what they were saying what it meant. I think I end up as a voice of reason and one of understanding because I strive to take what people are offering at face value. I'm just there, via text, phonecall or FaceTime, Facebook message, poke, tweet, Instagram pic, vine, email, and most of all in person. Having multiple people thank you for actively listening is so fulfilling especially when you know that other people take what you do for granted. Freaks and geeks like me are supposed to be good at everything and while it's problematic as hell, I'm pretty sure I do a damn good job at it. That friend that everyone needs but aren't always aware that they need, that's this guy, catch me if you can. 
My blog post question for the day is ... what is something you're most proud of this week? Honestly, being able to remain present for my friends, Patrick, Tanner, Connor, Sam, McNeil, Zach, and all the rest if they didn't need me, it still matters. 

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