Truth Be Told

Being a teenager is all about being honest. Honesty is one of those difficult things that people grapple with. It can be so easy to tell a lie, to hide what you're actually feeling, and to do everything possible to not address a problem. It's easier to hide behind a mask, to keep up appearances  and to shroud yourself in facade then to actually show yourself. "The truth always comes out, and it always hurts" (Joteng quotes) - truth be told.

You can probably tell I've been super busy lately which I haven't posted in a little bit (this whole "college" thing might be way too much effort for my liking). Truth be told, I've been overcome with my work, classes, and all the intricacies of cinema the social construct of college (ewe I sound like I actually attend a university). That being said, this week has been one of those absolutely powerful ones. The kind of weeks that move you deeply and shake you to your core. This week has been all about honesty, telling the truth, and being real with everyone (especially myself). It's taken so much strength and I mean real strength, not that fake Popeye the sailor spinach kind of super-powered strength, but real courage to do and say the things I had to. Let's just say stuff hit the fan and it went everywhere, and to move past it the truth had to be said. Sitting in a situation like the one of this past week makes me almost sick to my stomach. The palms of my hands were pale (which is one of my few tells of how I'm actually feeling), my fingers were trembling and my heart was racing. I couldn't believe the situation I was in, and soon it became my turn to speak. I took a deep breath and just did me. I said my piece, I let it be known how I felt, and put myself out there in the most vulnerable way possible. Honestly, I for real am proud of myself because letting my guard down is not something that happens very often. I let people in and also keep them out at the same time. Truth be told, I'm just a teenage boy with a huge undertaking and an even bigger life ahead of him. For you all, I give you this advice, be honest, be confident, and be you. Say what you need to say, when you need to say it, and be secure in what you feel. Our feelings are the one of the few things we can know for sure.

To be completely honest, it's been more than a rough week. It's been an absolute debacle up in this thing to say the least. Seriously, my life might be a massive mess like nobody's business. Tuesday for me included a rousing game of tennis which almost ended in some major pain as the overheard smashes came raining over the net. Story of my life, walking around the courts, completely oblivious as to what was going on around me, just hanging out in my own world like it's NBD that fast balls are flying past my face. Fast forward to the afternoon and it was biology lab where all us little scientists pretended to actually be like real geneticists (or some wannabe computer programmed replication of the sort) and used some genbank (if you don't speak science, ooph this might be awkward) data to determine the mutations between different species (so humans and mice). Oh lab is always an interesting time, when it will end ... nobody knows. Post lab means more incessant homework for yours truly before heading off to an organic chemistry supplemental instruction session (apparently, I needed more help that I initially thought ... whoopsies) with my suitemate, Jimmy. Just some IUPAC naming ridiculousness, alcohol (the chemical group) complicating, and reaction progress energy graphs fill up our night. I actually learn so much more when I go to those than in class (all that ish just comes crashing down like that Redbull skydiver from outerspace when I'm sitting in class) - s/o to SI instructor, Rob - you da best. It's on to hall councils to see some awesome programs put on in Harris/Millis and UHS. Back to the home base of the Heights where the hall council does the most with poster making. Somehow I get involved (because it's my livelihood, let's be honest) and spend just over an hour, drizzling glitter and trading quips with some of my favorite first year students for sure. Bed time doesn't happen soon enough but eventually the relief that is my short respite comes. Wednesday can be sped up until the afternoon where I booked it after my biology class to pick up my new iPhone 5 (so many #privilegedkidproblems) from my residential complex desk. I caught the bus to Redstone campus for my office hours and a whole comical ordeal with me trying to order pizza for 30 people ensued. It can't even be described, just me walking around, looking confused and absolutely distraught and just wanting to pay for it all myself #woof. The only highlight, a quick encounter with the college crush. In all honesty, my heart dropped when she came walking towards me - like I can't do this, it's overwhelming. How can a girl I barely know and am way too nervous to actually talk to, get me so worked up? Like she's in complete control of my heart - something's got to give. Night falls and my meeting goes really well - rock, paper, scissors tournament with cheering #FTW. Post meeting gets real, like super real with a circle to close out my day. Group hugs all around and all is well in the land of my college life, truth be told.

Being a teenager is all about figuring out who you are and sticking with that. College changes people - that's a fact. Whether it's for better or worse, that's up to you. You can become a better version of you and grow, or you take a different path. It's up to you be honest with yourself, to be vulnerable to new experiences, and to take things as they come. Truth be told, it's all up to you.

My blog post question for the day is ... when do you find it hardest to tell the truth? I know for me telling the truth is when you don't feel comfortable enough to talk to a person honestly, and also when I worry about how me saying how I actually feel with affect other people's opinion of me.