Light It Up

The 20s are all about finding your inner light. I believe that inside each and every one of us lies a spark, glimmer or flash of light. That light is the best part of who we are. It's the most pure, light-hearted and kind portion that we have to offer to the world. I believe that there are no such things as "good or bad" people, just people doing good or bad things. We tend to write people off and do not testify to their light, whether bright, dim or barely flickering. Our light can only be extinguished by death itself. Until then, no matter what, we have some "good" in us. Light it up!

Judgementalism is both a practice of protection but also one of bias of alienation. We use what we've learned about the world, the good, and all the "big bads" (Klaus from the Originals and Slade on Arrow) chart a course. Who is "safe" to interact with and who to avoid as potential dangers. The thing is those fail-safes are based on arbitrary things. The truth is you can never really know what interaction someone will have with you, for sure, until it actually happens. You can surmise all you want but what we forget is that our words and actions are also confessions of our character. They let others know what kind of people we are. When did we start expecting people to fail, to act poorly, and to hurt us? When did we write entire persons off as unworthy of human contact? Why are we predisposed to treat some people as less than they are? When did we stop looking for the light in others and rather search for the darkness? Sometimes I wonder if the world is only so crazy because people are just fulfilling the stereotypes thrust upon them or playing the parts that we cast them in. Think about it, what is easier? To be a hot ass mess when every outlet is telling you that you're destined to do so, parents, friends, family, enemies, and even the media, or to go against all odds and do the seemingly impossisble - make it out? When we don't give people hope or give them the courage to hope for themselves, we are snuffing out the lights that make them who they are. People are invaluable. People should be given the benefit of doubt. People should be appreciated for the content of their character not the preconceived notions and armorments we place upon them. People need to be given the opportunity to shine, to prove us right. The way the world has been working recently is like some sort of dystopian young adult futuristic society (aka every movie this year the Giver, Mazerunner, Divergent). Isn't it innocent until proven guilt, not guilty as hell by unreasonable doubt. When we look for darkness, we will find darkness, but when we look for light, we find that it may be brighter than we ever thought possible.

This week I don't know what happened to me, but for some reason unbeknownst to me I was just putting myself out there. I mean talking to random people, striking up conversations left and right, and constantly beaming from ear to ear. It's kind of annoying, like I was that quintessentially peppy kid that everybody seems to know (Cheers anyone?). It was kind of refreshing to let go, and push myself just a little bit further to talk when usually I would hang back and miss opportunities to connect with people. Looking for the light in people is nowhere near as difficult as we make it out to be. People want to be "good." They want to care, and be cared about. They want to be generous, to smile, and engage in great dialogue. We are social people. When we ignore some of our preconceived notions of who we imagine people to be, we find that they have more to offer than the passing judgments we bestow upon them. Wednesday for me was my thirteen minute physics lab (like actually though, it was Mr. Feeny type of life-lesson nonsense) but I rode the bus back to my building and instead of being quietly awkward, I just mustered up the courage to talk to the girl that was sitting across from me. Like it wasn't a big deal at all, I made her laugh and told to have a good day, nothing more, but I know it was a small thing to setup a great day. I put in work in the office and caught up on PLL and the Originals (just tell me who "A" is already - my money is on Aria) before heading to my physics lecture. I went on a prayer walk with my friend Elisabeth which was a positive change of pace for once. I go places to get there, and it's a rarity that I take my time enjoying the actual journey there. I could be an Olympic speed walker (but those winter Olympics though ... coming right on up) if that was like an actual thing. I spent my afternoon wrapping belated holiday presents (gift giving has become my forte and it's so fulfilling) and knocking out some homework. Night fell and it was the first RHA general body meeting of the semester which ended up being a quirky giggle-fest of hilarious proportions. Leading those meetings is always an experience and seeing the enthusiasm that people show and challenging themselves is truly inspiring. The light that those people carry cannot be contained and is so close to making massive moves on our campus. More homework and I hit the hay (late as always, because I wouldn't be me otherwise; the gospel of Mark is a page-turner okay). Light it up and share it big time.

There are some days where you really need to have someone show you that there is good in the world. That little speck of light is all you need to power through the darkest of days and can reignite your inner passion for life. Thursday was one of those crazy days that has more twists and turns than the literary debauchery known was the Dollanger book series (Flowers in the Attic ... on Lifetime Saturday night). I went through my religion and US TV/Film class before all of a sudden the power went out on major parts of my campus. Snow started falling in heavy fluffies from the sky and I went to meet up with my buddy, Tim, to grab lunch. It was like a calm chaos in the student center with like an underlying sense of urgency as people crowded around. I always enjoy spending time with interesting people especially ones with visible drive and charisma - that guy will go far, that much I know. Straight to my Christianity lecture where I'm pretty sure we demolished the book of Mark (but exorcising those demons was like Jesus's thing) and to my Latin class. My professor brightens my day with how random and genuine he is all the time. His class is a true joy to be in just because he's such a character. I had physics recitation (but why tho?) and went to dinner with the new Sam who I'll working with for RHA. The conversation honestly didn't go at all the way I thought it would, but that's okay because sometimes things are better in real life than the way we think them up in our heads. I took one of the things he said that revealed the light that I was looking for in him. It's going to take some time getting used to each especially with all the differences in who we are and how we show up, but I have confidence that we'll get there. I paid my fraternity brothers Zach and Dom a quick visit that immediately brightened the tail end of my day before the infamous dynamic duo (ooph, that subtext though) of Connor and Mac made an appearance. We were joined by our friend Natalia and made our way to the theater downtown to see the Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, the buddies were all about the comedy of it but while I was able to appreciate the aesthetics of the entire project (so damn pretentious) I didn't like the content of the story or the offensiveness of it all in so many ways. Different movies for different people, right (or maybe it's strokes for folks). I'm still trying to figure out how I fit into the whole dynamic because it's definitely different when I interact with them separately (at least to me) but together, that creeping feeling of third wheel status on Mac/Connor's friendship sets in. I think me presenting differently now from the aftermath of last semester hasn't been prepped yet to figure out if and how I fit in, and maybe I don't. But there's a light there worth pursuing maybe in a different form than I would expect, but still one nonetheless. I'm going to let things happen and chase the bright side until I'm there. Light it up and let's do this thing.

My blog post question for the day is ... how do you know that you want to befriend a person? For me, it's seeing them do something out of the ordinary that shows kindness, compassion or empathy for other people. A lack of thoughtfulness is the complete opposite of my existence and usually doesn't work well with this (*points to self).


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