Friend or Foe

The 20s are all about choosing your inner circle. College is an amazing place for the simple fact that everyday there you are surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of total strangers. Every time we come into contact with a new person, there is potential to become friends. When we think of how many people we actually end up talking to the number is mighty miniscule. We could be missing out on some of the best friendships of our lives and don't even know it. The thing is, not everyone becomes a friend. Some may just as easily be a foe. Pick your side, friend or foe.

With the start of a new year, we make those semi-realistic goals of what we'll do different. Other than exercise (mmkay, no - what do I look like Tim Tebow #awk) the most frequently mentioned advice was to reevaluate your friendships. It's to choose better friends. Sometimes you have pursue who matters to you. The people you want to get to know better. The people whose morals and insight into the world you truly value. The people who you have a connection with but secretly wish it was stronger. Now is the time to surround ourselves with positive people who are pushing the envelope on what friendship looks like. When the people you choose (keyword there choose - it's about us and our decisions to associate) surprise you with how they express their friendship, something just might be going right. It's time to get motivators, challenges, and supporters. When your friends make you want to work harder, longer and better, only good can come from it. That's the friend that subliminally asks for your to step your college game up. The challenger forces you to evaluate your beliefs and preconceived notions as well as to try new things. These friends are crucial for new experiences and to understand there's more to college and life than just the way we view it. Lastly, the supporters aka the lifesavers. These friends cheer you on, listen to you, check-in, make you feel better and are there for you. College can be such a brash and brazen place, supporters are essential for when it knocks you down. Find these three people and you'll see a major difference. We also can be any one of these for other people. Friendship is a reciprocal relationship. Don't be afraid to give just as much as you get. Talk to someone new in class, at a party, in the library, or in a club/organization - there's so many people, and that means more chances to find the people you fit with. Friend or foe, let us know any day now. 

This is the year to remove negativity from your life. If you've got a friend, acquaintance, frenemy, formidable foe or arch-nemesis that is constantly bringing you down, it's time for them to get the heck out of our life. Done, finished, end of story, game over, pack up and peace the hell out. We're the social media generation but our news feeds stay clogged up with irrelevant high school classmates, offensive nincompoops and tons of randoms - do the deed and unfriend. Unfollow foolishness on twitter, and block your haters on instagram. Delete, delete, delete. It's that damn simple sometimes. People like to act like ending friendships is such a bad thing, but we're not meant to be friends with everyone. There's no reason to be constantly uncomfortable, offended, or used a doormat/complaint bearer. If you're always taking care of your friends emotionally, physically when they get majorly twisted, or academically (cause colluding is NBD or whatevs), and get nothing in return, what's the point. Friendship works both ways. Cut the crap. Cut the excess. Cut the irrelevance. If your friends have a knack for getting into trouble, probz a sure sign of "go-no further." Sometimes you don't have to do any work, you just stop really talking to a person and they kind of fade away. If someone actively values your friendships, you not being present will resonate with them and they'll seek you out and if it just ends, then it ends. Sometimes you have to confront people and let them know what's up. We can't continue this way. We can't be friends anymore. We aren't what we used to be. Being friends with people for old times sake is fine and good, but when the camaraderie is gone, then there's no point. If I'm cutting you off it's only because you handed me the scissors. Friend or foe, choose your side of you've got to go.

My blog post question for the day is ... when do you know that you've made a long term friend? I think when you have a solid friendship and appreciate one another things just work out. Friendships are work, but it's so easy it doesn't seem like work.