Hit or Miss

The 20s are all about the contrasting highs and swift following lows. College is a microcosm of the larger world, albeit less sheltered than our hometowns. It's still a self-selecting environment that makes for the embarrassingly awkward moments, horrible first impressions, and truly epic fails. There's so many people watching, observing, judging and the more conspicuous you are the audience just grows and grows. It's like everyone gets a front row seat to the disastrously classic melodramatic sitcom-esque instances that make up your college life. It's either a hit or a miss.

The honest to goodness worst thing about college is that you have multiple first days. Like you have to get ready and look good (unless, you spend your entire existence trying to do so) twice in a row. I mean, that's a struggle for some people. It's winter and if I didn't know any better, I would say some people are majoring in ratchetology (the study of being a mess). I mean do you, but it's only been two days, can we at least pretend to try. You go to all your classes anxious as hell looking for any familiar face. Sometimes you sit awkwardly by yourself (like Sabrina the Teenage Witch Libby Chessler making you feel insignificant awkward) and other times you take refuge in that bare-bones acquaintance you know, but don't actually know. Then there's the freaking people who come in and are just dapping everybody, everyone's calling their names, and it's like a house party in the classroom for them until the professor walks in and shuts it all down. Like damn though, who are you, and why do you exist? Introductions are legit the bane of my existence. I despise saying my own name, it doesn't sound like offbeat grinding at a middle school dance to any one else? Some people can crack a joke or just have that look (you know the one that gets people hot and bothered because their face is like ... so you model or nah, like instagram or nah?) and make a good first impression. My embarrassing ass stumbles over his own name and the basic facts of my life, like you don't know your own info or what? Get it together self, I'm going to need you to lock it up. Everyone goes one by one and I just butcher it and then I spend the entire class wallowing in my own disappointment of how painfully weird I must come off as. Swaggie or not (Justin Bieber miniature pelvic thrusts weird) dressing to impress cannot save you from social awkwardness. When it's time to move on to the next class I peace the heck out like my life depends on it. The few times you take a risk and spice up your intro, it's a hit or miss. Is it worth the risk, the world may never know. Either way, I'm going to spend the semester being irrelevant or the unofficial "it" kid - I'd prefer the latter, please and thank you.

Truly, I'm going to need people to take several seats and simmer on down with the generic questions. Like, I'm pretty sure we're not actually friends, nonetheless barely acquaintances. Know our status or our nonexistent one. You get a hey and a smile, maybe a how are you? But please do not stop walking to ask me how my break was, or even worse give me a hug. Like do you know me like that. Step off and let's keep going. Then there's all those people you make eye contact with and should say hi to but don't because you don't know if they will and then you start to but they don't and then they do and this sentence is colossal grammatic catastrophe. It's horrible. I just said hey and you didn't acknowledge me, like I'm honestly the most awkward human being to ever exist. Please let me disappear right now. My life on campus is one of perpetual near-campus celebrity but most definitely self-named socialite status. The past two days have been a non-stop barrage of missed you's, questions, hugs, handshakes, smiles, texts and all the rest. Like damn though. I didn't know people liked me that much. I was under the impression that I liked them a lot more. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I wish people came with like a status sign, like are we on greeting terms or no. Seriously, especially the people I'm facebook friends with or hardcore stalk on twitter, but never actually speak to in real life. Honestly, saying hello with someone's name is a bold move and forces you both to acknowledge your mutual social media connection. Can we just do away with all the longing glances, almost said statements, and missed cues of hugs or smooches (wait, is this Mary-Kate and Ashley in  Passport to Paris?). This whole hit or miss lifestyle is a chess-match of horrendous outcomes.
The past two days have been so many faces, embraces, and spaces (this whole post just needs to stop, but it won't). Monday morning was office hours for RHA where I swashbuckled (Prince Caspian style) my inbox before heading to a great lunch/hangout sesh with my friend, Tina. You know when you meet a person who's really similar to you and you instantly feel comfortable talking to them, that's how we work. Left and right, I was spinning circles greeting everyone as we all returned from break. My campus crush, the total ridiculousness of my lack of poise to use words to speak to her past a "hey/hi" combo that come out at "heeyyaa" was unbearable. I made my way to physics where we dove right in and I was not about that soaking wet in the deep end life. I was super tired so I retreated to my room for a nap before heading to an RHA exec board meeting. We flew through the meeting and I grabbed a light dinner with my co-worker pulling a Prince William with my entrance (okay, that's what it felt like in my head). I hung out/made moves with my buddy/fraternity brother, Taylor in his res hall and made my way back home to retire. More emails, a shat ton of text messages and a brisk shower (cause hot-water is overrated apparently) before I retired to sleep. Tuesday was an early morning wake up to meet up with my IFC executive board members and advisors. 8am breakfast was like not real life, but the conversation was light and all of us seem to be more reserved and unobtrusive which hopefully will work. I'm excited to take a new role and give back to the community. It was off to class where the quirky characters came out in drives, oh religion classes. I had a meeting, and hit lunch with my fraternity brothers, Connor, Dylan, and Connor (Blue Steel). Probably the highlight of my day, I may or may not have quite possibly missed them a teeny-tiny bit. More classes, namely, Christianity and Latin where my professor was a hilarious scattering of random facts and knowledge. I watched Teen Wolf (my feels cause of Stiles's breakdown and witty shutdown of Isaac and the return of Braeden the bad-ass homegirl) and hit up dinner with my good-time friend Tyler, his brother and my RA, Adam. Our table grew to encompass more personalities and it was an honest to goodness great, time where for that hour I was just hanging out. No hit or miss, just normal.
I finished my night with writing this post and more homework to prep for even more newness. The semester is officially underway. Hit or miss, we're firing.
My blog post question for the day is ... what has been your most embarrassing moment for this year so far? So freaking many, probably that one time I sat in the center row of the wrong class and had to leave, then walked directly into another incorrect class. It was a rough afternoon. I became that guy.


Popular posts from this blog

Man Down


Trust Issues