Little White Lies

The 20s are all about bending the truth. You always have to weigh your options before you make any decisions, especially when it comes to talking to people. It's amazing how fast one remark can blow up into something so huge. They say that kids say the darndest things but I'd beg to differ that college students say the most outrageous things. You just never know what's going to come out of someone's mouth until its all been said and done. Sometimes it's easier to beat around the bush then say what we actually need to. Everybody tells those little white lies.

The other day I was browsing the internet (as if the whole day counts as "browsing") and came across this article examining why people lie. I guess I'd never really thought about it. As a kid you're taught that lying is bad, but the older you get, the more often you seem to lie. Compound that with the actual heavy hitting stuff that people deal with and keep a secret, and lying just becomes second nature. Somehow you end up lying about things you don't even need to just because you become so used to it. I guess it kind of depends on your definition of a lie. Exaggerating a story, leaving out certain details, and telling the quasi-truth, I guess they all have some semblance of actuality within them. My biggest offense is whenever people irk me saying that I'm not bothered or angry when in my head I've already come up with exactly what I want to say to verbally demolish them (high school me was so much more brutal) but it's unnecessary and will get us nowhere. Whatever we think about the lies we tell, we have reasons for them, whether or not we're conscious of them at all times. The article had a list of a most common white lies but their reasoning behind them seemed to be off base (at least for why I tell them) so I gave my own reasons.
Most Common White Lies:
  1. I'm fine - no matter what, if you're eyes are swollen, tears streaming down your face, you're pissed off, you're shaking, you're scrapped up and bleeding or you can't be breathe, people always say that they're fine, when almost always they are not. I think it's our socializing that not being fine as in having a problem, is unacceptable. Your personal stuff is what you deal with privately. Not being okay is showing "weakness" - I think the strongest people are those that are able to ask for help and show their emotions instead of stifling them.
  2. I'm on my way - one of my personal favorites; it's that text you send or that little thing you say right before you hang up the phone knowing damn well that you're looking a raggedy ass mess. You've yet to shower, change, brush your teeth and are nowhere near presentable. This one is to spare people from getting anxious to soon because we all know I'm about to be late. I don't even know if I actually take a long time to get places, or I just like to make an entrance. Maybe in our minds, we imagine people can't exist or go on without us. Truth is we should come with ETAs.
  3. Everything will be okay - everyone's go to consolation phrase; something has gone down and you don't really know what to say so you pat someone on the back, give them a hug or awkwardly whisper (wait no one else does that ... am I weird) that they'll be fine. This one I think is just wishful thinking. Nobody likes to see someone they care about hurting or their life in shambles. Most of the time things do work themselves out, but the truth is not always. Sometimes the world wins, but that's okay - we go on anyway because we have to, what else is there?
  4. That's interesting - this one is my most common white lie; whenever someone says something it's what I say to let them know that I'm listening and paying attention. Yeah, whenever I say it though it's code for "I don't care." But it's rude as hell to be like "I gives none" so "that's interesting" it is. Same for whenever I say "that's funny," I'm not laughing and didn't find it humorous at all. Culture has a huge part in shaping our sense of humor, hence why I'm usually not in stitches over physical "humor" or vulgarities. I'm trying to spare feelings and feign interest (wait, I might actually not be as nice as I thought ... ooph).
Little white lies are just part of the way we communicate. You lie about all your bodily functions hence "I wasn't taking a dump, I didn't fart, I don't pick my nose, I didn't eat that off the ground," etcetera. We lie about liking the presents people get us (give me money and call it a day) and that borrowing your stuff is okay. The list goes on and on. The bottom line is we don't want to bother other people. Harmony is what we're trying to achieve, but the reality of it is, that's impossible. If people told the truth, things may not always be perfect but at least the truth would be out there.

You're probably wondering (just go along with it, I don't have friends so entertain me) what I've been doing with my life recently. No mention of college and all the drama that comes along with it (BTW, this semester is me going drama free ... yeah, me and every reality show star ever). Well my winter break ends in five days and I return to purgatory (yeah, I refer to my school as that temporary-hell place Catholics believe in, and?) but I've been doing the usual. Answering emails (because the term "vacation" means nothing to people), working on things for RHA, IFC, and my fraternity (senior year I'm disappearing I'm going to be "normal" and take a backseat in all my stuff), and somehow relaxing. Just being at home in and of itself is relaxing. I'm not on edge. I'm not putting on a show for anyone else. I don't have to be on my game at all times. It's legit the best. If I only I could stay here forever. But seriously, I've been watching lots of Netflix movies (Crooked Arrows - a sports movie worth checking out; White Frog - Aspergers syndrome, love and friendship), online shopping (this guy needs some new footwear), sitting on twitter & vine, cooking/eating tons of food (apparently, I only gain weight at home ... fine with that), and lastly keeping a low profile. Being away from school is the best. It's like a true test of friendship because we all know you only talk to the people that matter most to you when you go home. Radio silence from most people is a pretty good indicator how you rank on their totem pole of friendship. "I missed you" when you come back from a break is one of those "little white lies" - what people really mean is, I didn't think about you, if I did you would have heard from me during that month that we were gone #sorrynotsorry but you're here so let me appease you. Save it, it's okay - we all have our priority people in our lives.
My blog post question for the day is ... what lie do you tell most often? Whenever I'm some place on campus and need an excuse to leave, my go to catchphrase is, "I have a meeting." I mean, I usually do but sometimes I just need a segue to get the heck up out of here.


Popular posts from this blog