Out of My Mind

Being teenager is all about those things that you can never seem to forget. It's a proven fact that we as teens remember the worst of the what happens to us more than all of the good. It's so easy to bring up those embarrassing moments where you wish you were invisible, all the drama that goes down on the weekly, and those incidents that you just can't shake. It's like that feeling when you leave a movie or end an episode of a show and for next like half hour you inclined to act like one of the characters. Get out of my head and out of my mind.

Sometimes in college you just want to be done with it all. There's no rest for the weary and not a break insight, except for the perpetual countdown to summer. This weekend I realized exactly how much homework I had to finish before Monday morning when the vicious cycle started again. It's like professors are bullies and this MTV's "Made: the Movie" - seriously, it just never seems to stop. Even with an exam coming up, all the things you have to do just piles up and it's to you climb that mountain, and mount it like rowdy Real World hookup. The worst part is when you can't it out of your head, it's a constant reminder of how ridiculous your college life really is. Where's the time to just be in college, enjoy the moments and have fun. What you need to do is make lists of things to do, and follow them. It's what keeps me sane, grounded and alive. When you fully accomplish anything on those lists it's like the greatest thing ever and it gives you a perspective as to what needs to be done. Remember how I mentioned feeling like pop culture characters, well for this weekend I'm feeling violently vulnerable and blood thirsty like Alexander Ludwig's "Cato" from the Hunger Games, and I'm about to murder demolish this stuff. One Direction said it best, "get out, get out, get out of my mind, and come on, come in to my life" - #directionerproblems. If I can do this, and you know I'm a classically chronic mess, you can for sure get 'er done and get out of my mind.

 Friday was one of those out of control random kind of days. I woke up in the morning and got dressed and headed out to get breakfast. Tell me why there's literally crowds on crowds of people flocking to get food and waiting in line already for President Obama at the gym. I've like never seen so many people gather like this in Vermont, like ever. Everybody's always about doing their own thing. Well I come back to my room to finish my homework, print it off and I'm out the door ready to seize the day, carpe freaking diem. I start off with biology where that same douche-asaurus Rex of a kid just gives his unwanted input in our massive lecture (you're not the professor, simmer down). Straight to African religions where I sit a little further to the front and we start off by discussing the documentary we watched, "Monday's Girls" and the ignorance just flows like blood from a stab wound. This girl literally said, "I don't know, all African people are the same, and believe the same stuff and don't value individuality like we Americans do, they like to conform" and other people chime in the same sentiments, and I'm just sitting there thinking these people are so uninformed, so completely removed and absolutely dumb as hell. That class ends and it's on to math class for tons more note taking and some presidential jokes from our professor that were actually pretty funny. I chose a different seat today just to mix it up, but no new friends made, awk sauce. HCOL comes and we're discussing the Obama book "Dreams from My Father" and I'm just feeling uncomfortable when we start talking about and what "black people are supposed to do" when they get an education. It's great to give back to the community, but if you were never part of that community why would you go impose? No worries, I come back to my room and instead of sleeping I just watch two episodes of 9O21O. My favorite show of all time, and it's getting intense, character deaths, betrayal, craziness and even a sentiment to shag a priest, so Beverly Hills. Time eventually comes for Phi Mu Delta new member education class and from the get go there's just something off about today. Dom, Derrick, and Gabe join Rob, and I for Campby's time and it get super awkward too fast. You know that moment when you see a different side of someone that you're not prepared to see, well I saw it and I couldn't get it out of my mind. Just being caught off guard with people is a whole lot of disorienting for sure. After that I take some initiative and head downtown on the bus to put together a birthday present for Sam. Half an hour of running around Church Street, and I succeed after running into teenage girls on a scavenger hunt. I catch the number 12 bus up, a fortunate occurrence since the usual bus just didn't ever come and I'm back in my room in a flash. Dinner time with Jandro, Cullen, Nora, Sam and Meghan where we discuss the Hunger Games. The movies sticks with you, that's for sure.  Kids killing kids, government punishment and using love as a game, it's like out of my mind amazing.

Later, Emily comes by, and Sammy, Jandro and I discuss the whole like not drinking, and abstinence thing before flipping a coin to decide to go to a party. Emily and I wait for the signal from Alejandro and make our way to central campus where the party is bumping. We walk by a girl puking her stomach out, and the smell of booze and cigarettes is strong, we must have made it. We're just dancing in the dark room with everyone else and guys keep coming up to ask her to dance, and I intervene as the pretend boyfriend. Oh what a night, for sure. There's people literally going at it like Vampire Diaries style on the wall and jungle juice everywhere. The floor is sticky and soon everyone dissipates. We grab our stuff and peace out as more people come flooding in. Another fun and random night. It's back to the room where Krabs and I have a classic late night bro-talk before going beddy-bye and I'm out of my mind. Saturday morning I get up bright and early and get dressed for Samantha's birthday breakfast. Emily, Sam, Dzenan and I go for a round two trip downtown and we eat at Magnolia Bistro. The food is amazing as always and the company is great. Recapping our party story and the weird dreams we all have is always a good time. After breakfast we wish Sam a happy birthday with blow out thingies and take a trip to North Beach. We get out and walk along the water just talking and being ourselves. I spot a playground and go to town just playing with every item possible, especially the swings while everyone else surges ahead. I catch up and we take a hike/journey through the woods to Red Rocks where it's a 90 foot plunge into Lake Champlain. We take pictures, make jokes and just chill and for once I'm out of my mind and into where I am and who I'm with. Muddy spots, sandy beach and crisp water mix together as we make the voyage back to the car. We get dropped off at the Heights and it's hardcore homework time. Guess what I should be doing right now, oh homework so I've come to that weird moment when I'm blogging about blogging #awkward. Okay, so this is weird, and I'm out of my mind, but I'mma play some Scramble with Friends and get back to work.

Being a teenager is all about not letting things get to you. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, out of place, and like you're going insane, but know you've got people who care about you and that you're more than capable of accomplishing anything you're tasked with. It's all about getting over things, not dwelling on the unnecessary petty crap, and just being real with yourself. Does this matter or is it really not a big deal. Just get it out of my mind.
mother hugging baby

My blog post question for the day is ... what do think about when you mind wanders away? Oh, nothing much, just baby names for my kids, getting married in a castle-type building with blue roses and Keke Palmer as my bride. You know the usual.


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