Live and Learn

Being a teenager is all about growing as a person. College is the time to dig down deep and discover who you truly are on the inside. With all the things that go on around you on a daily basis, it's up to you to stick to your morals or you can easily be lost in all the craziness. It's on you to preserve what makes you yourself, and to never give up on your values. We all need a little work done, like Joan Rivers or Dolly Parton style, and one of the things I've learned from college is forgiveness. Grudges are not meant to be held, and you've got to move on. Just like L&L, live and learn.

I'm going to let you in on a major secret of mine, in high school I may or may not have been known as the most vile of them all. After a couple years left over bullying from middle school, sophomore and junior year, my reign of terror went on and the amount of drama I caused might be legendary. So much drama, and so many reputations ruined. I lived by my own quote "I don't spread rumors, I start them" and I was good at what I did. Anyone who messed with me, I messed right on back. I eventually learned at the end of junior year to let things go and move on. Some people trully aren't worth your time and brooding over. It's up to you to determine whether relationships can still be repaired, salvaged, or thrown away after stuff goes down. I'm talking like Nick kissing Lulu on Jane By Design crazy ish. To forgive you need to find the strength within the deepest depths of your heart to be able to confront a situation/person and let them know that you're moving on. The thing is, you have to mean it, like wholeheartedly. When you've truly forgiven someone you don't bring up the sketchtastic incident that formed the past anymore, and you treat them the way they should be treated, as a friend. Holding a grudge forms a barrier over your heart and closes you off to the world. Hold a grudge for long enough, and that's all you'll become, and old stubborn bat like Eustace from "Courage." No one will want to be friends with a person who can't let things go, and you'll isolate yourself. When something goes down, you've got to remove yourself from the situation and really look at the pros and cons, then make your decision on how to respond, but you must respond and get on with your life. Just live and learn.

Forgiving people is quite possibly one of the hardest things to do. I'll admit, I'm guilty of harboring resentment and anger towards people but I always make sure to get over it. Some things aren't worth pouting over. For example, remember last semester when Jandro broke my smartphone (as in my entire life, literally) "It Happens Everytime" that was one of the times where I just didn't react at all. I removed myself from the situation, no shouting, no yelling, no crying, and no complaining. Nothing would bring back my cell phone, so I just removed myself and calmed down and eventually just bought a new one. I let it go and got over it, it was a total accident and Alejandro just plays rough. I could have hated the dude forever and ever for legit ruining my social life for like two weeks and cutting me off from the rest of the world, but I searched, and looked, and finally found the maturity to move on and forgive what we did. College is the place to turn over new leaves and even surprise yourself. One of the best things about being at university is that you always have the option to drop friends (I'm not advocating for friend dropping, that's wrong), but if your "acquaintance" screws you over, you can just not be around the person anymore, plain and simple. If it's someone you still want to be friends with, or potentially live with, like Jandro for me, you need to be able to show some character and forgive the person. It's up to you, to grow, mature, and realize that somethings got to give and you've got to keep going. Live and learn, not to make the same mistakes.

Some people have this notion that certain things are absolutely unforgivable. There's literally nothing that can be done to change the situation. Is that true? Me, personally - I believe that anything can be forgiven. It's what makes people human, and what keeps teenagers unique. It's our resiliency, and our zeal for life that makes us an age group different. People can hurt you but it's not up to you to get back at them. It takes not only gumption, courage, and strength but real character to turn the other cheek and move on. With the exception of inhuman crimes like murder, and all types of assaults (that's just heinous) - you can find it within yourself to give people the benefit of the doubt. The fraternity I'm a new member of, Phi Mu Delta, has one it's major points being to treat everyone a brother and know that they have intrinsic worth and value. I can honestly say that one of my favorite things about myself is I always look for the goodness within everyone, because, truthfully it's there. If you can believe that no one is pure evil, then you can search through the abyss of your emotions and forgive people. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. Never forget what you've learned from the things that happen to you, it just means you're done with that drama and no longer deal with that dilemma. Use your experience to prevent you from falling into the same trap. Just because you've forgiven someone doesn't mean you're back to being friends, that can be the end of your friendship or any relations if need be. You've done what needs to be done, and you can live and learn.

Being a teenager is all about opening your heart and mind to new ideas. Close-minded outlooks and stubborn hearts doesn't get people far very often. All of us, especially as young people need to be able to learn to forgive others for the wrongs they commit against us, what we do in return and what we do to ourselves. It's a vicious cycle that ends here. This is the time and place to turn it all around. Live and learn.

My blog post question for the day is ... what's something you've had tough time forgiving? Those pranks last semester that literally ruined my life and lead to me applying for a transfer, yeah, that's something I'll never forget and something I had difficulty in letting go.


Popular posts from this blog

Man Down


Trust Issues