Body Talk

Being a teenager is all about reading signals and making moves. Let's be real, college is not only to get an education, but it's to find that special someone. It's about playing the field, working the room, and being classically "single and ready to mingle." To all the people out there who fear they may be #foreveralone - I'm right there with ya. It's because we're going about this whole flirting/dating/relationship/casual hook-up thing wrong. We've been trained to do it one way and one way only, but the reality is that way works a specific kind of person that we all can't be and definitely aren't. Forget it and let your body talk.

Societal norms - whether we're aware of them or not it's what we base all our standards off of. People walk around and think that literally nobody they see on campus is hot because they're freaking looking for Taylor Lautner, James Wolk, or Armie Hammer - you're going to be disappointed, that's a rarity people. I gave up on looking for the Annalynne McCords, Phoebe Tonkins, and Claire Holts of the world - they're one in a million and in the real world that's not something you see everyday. But that's we're expected to want and what we hold out for. These people who are unbelieably beautiful (like it shouldn't even be physically possible to look like that and just exist, it's too much), fit (in the cheeky British way), and flawless. They're well dressed, well worked out, and perfectly perfect in every single aspect. Sorry to burst your bubble but normal people don't look like that - yes, there's some people who everyday average Joes (get at me) and Bettys (I feel like I work at Hollister) that happen to be smolderingly hot, but come on, those people are few and far between. We place too much value on acheiving this physical beauty. Every guy is supposed to look like Ryan Reynolds or Stephen Amell, and aggressive when pursuing women, but just a little reserved - and if you don't you're not considered to be attractive. Especially for people of color, there's no standard to judge yourself (which is a problem in and of itself) because no one in the mainstream media looks like you. For girls, Kylie Jenner, Nina Dobrev, and Emma Watson are what you're measured against. You're supposed to be skinny, have long hair, and be flirty, but not too easy, and not too unattainable. Who made up these rules and made these people the goals for what we're supposed to look like and how we're supposed to act. So few people are even close to what those standards demand, cross yourself out of the game if you're a person of color (few exceptions, Nicole Scherzinger & Halle Berry), don't have abs, aren't a size 0, have blemishes, deformities, crooked teeth (unless you're Miley Cyrus) or a less than fantastic wardrobe. Sorry but that's not going to work out, everyone is beautiful in their own way. We're allowed to look however we want, somebody, somewhere, someday will find us attractive. And that whole rating system nonsense, it only works for the mainstream ideals of hotness, aka Abercrombie or dapper hipster white dudes or Blake Lively style girlies - we all have our preferences, but when you find someone unattractive really ask yourself why. Oh you've never dated a person of color, I wonder why that is, you're not attracted to them - mmkay; that's part of the socialization. Challenge the system and be you, you're your own person. Let your body talk.

So I've determined that I'll most likely (at least at this college) stay ridin' solo. Not only is it a rarity that I see a girl I find absolutely breathtaking, but then I have to ask myself if she even likes black guys (please see the ridiculousness in that). The chances of that are slim to none. I find myself more attracted to girls because of their personalities. I think they're cute or pretty, and then I hear them talk with their kind of scratchy Emma Stone type voice and they talk about things that interest me like pop culture, life goals, and family, and then happen to get all my references, and allusions to songs, YouTubers, TV shows and movies and I'm like please bear my children now. I just want a girl who wants to have the classically sophisticated idealized relationship. I'm talking picnic lunches and swinging, reading books with music in the background, sharing popcorn, taking unbearably cute selfies at sunset, and playing tennis against each other, all while looking good together. I want to be that twenty-something couple (ewe, wait, I don't even want to be over 19) that coordinates what they way and are enviously successful but then wholeheartedly in love. I know that I am not a person who "hooks up" in any connotation of the phrase. Honestly, I've never been in a relationship, or even been kissed (fill in the blanks there). Why yes, I'm the most naive, inexperienced, noob of all time - I'm aware, but I've stopped worrying about it. I definitely was a late bloomer when it came to the whole girls and guys thing. It seemed like (and still does) seem like everyone else knows what they're doing, and are just locking lips, holding hands or knocking boots. I'm kind of an outgoing person (at least, I pretend to be), but when it comes to girls, I only come in one mode, teenage cute. I'm charming and innocent like Annasophia Robb in the Carrie Diaries only I'm a behind the times guy. My flirting is almost nonexistent except I may make a point to talk a little bit more to a girl I'm interested in, but I think I send indecisive signals. I probably come off as just really friendly. I guess I have to step it up and be a little bit more direct, instead of hoping the girls I crush on (yup, I still have crushes) will crush back on me. My patented move is the nervous lip bite and with these softies I've got an unfair advantage (I'm like Spencer Boldman except less studly). I suppose my body is doing much talking. I should probably show some skin, let a little loose and be a little promiscuous and work the room. I'm just afraid no one will like me or I'll get denied (but I guess that's what everyone is afraid of). I know to stop comparing myself to other people and utilize what makes me unique, go about it my own way. I may not be a hulking mass of muscle, have swooshy hair, or a deep booming voice - but I do have humor, can dance really well, a killer smile, soulful eyes, and L.L. Cool J-esque lips. I'm not giving up, but I'm definitely going to be playing this game different. Here's my announcement to the world, I'm single and more than ready to mingle - girlies, come and get it. I'm going to let my body talk for me, and you're welcome to come and talk back. Even if I don't get my date on here in college, I'm pretty sure it'll all fall into place sooner or later - I'm too handsome to not have a wife and kids (all of this needs to be replicated).

*For all of who haven't heard of SoMo (singer/rapper) you're missing out. This song though SoMo "Ride" > everything right now - like Chris Brown "Take You Down" if Drake had done it. And Midnight Red is the next big boyband but with a party raging twist, and lastly, Timeflies is amazing if you like rap-singing and sick bets.

Being a teenager is all about finding your own style. It's about carrying yourself the way you want. Forget all the societal norms and how you're supposed to act. We're not all the same, in fact, we're all different and we things in our own unique way. We get to be who we want, not who the world wants us to be. Do your thing and get what you want, the way you want to go about it. Holler at your girl, grab your man, sit on my face and go after what you want. Just let your body talk.

My blog post question for the day is ... who's your celebrity crush? First and foremost, Keke Palmer. Then Chloe Bridges, Samantha Boscarino, Charlotte Arnold, Alexandra Shipp and Annasophia Robb. Dilshad Vadsaria and Meghan Markle (sophisticated woman feels).