Shock Value

Being a teenager is all about getting your mind blown. It's about being totally taken for a wild ride and living like there's no tomorrow. College is the time to let loose, get a little rowdy and blow off some steam every once in a while. Near the end of a semester everybody's getting a whole lot of young and the restless, Noah style, and just needs to destress. Well you're about to hear the story of a wild ass day leading to an even crazier night (a weekday mind you). So much shock value (imagine "Way I Are" playing in the background, "Newport Harbor" prom scene ensue).
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It's absolutely unbelievable to realize how fast this year has gone by. My first year of college is almost over. I can't even fathom how far I've come, how much I've changed, and the multitude of people I've met. It's been a crazy year with tons of shock value. Wednesday was the last day of classes. I, being the good student that I am, went to all 4 of mine, and it was so tempting to skip and be rebellious for once like Saved by the Bell or something, but no such thing happened. In biology we learned about the eco-system and the food chain, I and I know where I'm at on that list, the top cause I'm bossed up. On to African religions where we discussed some more witchcraft and what religion meant to us, and to match class where it was day three of final exam review. That class is a madhouse, people are constantly talking and it's been kind of ridiculous like Khloe K and Lamar Odom quitting their reality show, WTEff. Lastly, there was my honors college class which I may or may not miss. The teacher was awesome, and one of my favorites so far in college however my classmates were disengaged, not having it, and a few that just said things that got on my nerves. Done with all that nonsense and it was into my room to blog "Tempest Tossed" and eat lunch. From there I was run ragged, I changed from the top up into a dress shirt, tie and blazer and walked to the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority house to take my composite photo. I knocked on the door and there were just tons of girls sitting there doing arts and crafts, whipping their hair back and forth, and gossiping - it was like I stepped into a sacred temple or something. Too many girls at once is never good idea. I sat for my insanely photogenic picture and dipped out to the TV studio. My castmates were kind of preoccupied with sicknesses, and naps so no season finale for us. I ended up talking to our tech director, Michael Cohen for about an hour about my new job as IRA (Inter-Residence Association) president. I saw my fraternity brother, Philly, and went to hang out with him near the pool tables before his beau Tucker broke up our bro-bonding. Back to the Heights where I sat in my bed and listened to music and played computer games. Soon it was time for the last general body IRA meeting, and Sam and I missed the bus, so we walked to WDW hall complex on Redstone campus. We had wings and shared our experiences from the year. Things got a whole lot of awkward at some points, but we ended on an amiable note with a cheer and me receiving the fabled gavel. I'm officially the new president. It's wild to know that little old me is going to be running a major on campus organization next year. Now that's some shock value.

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Last day of classes at UVM unfortunately means the unsanctioned naked bike ride. Yup, it's exactly what it sounds like. Sam, Emily, and I get in line for the school sponsored "Free Finals Food Fest" or F to the 4th power as I call it, where we get tickets for free food from local vendors and drinks. The line moves actually really fast, and we all get hot dogs before heading to the bungee run. Waiver is signed and I go up against Sam in placing the Velcro strap as far up the route as I can. Let it be known that running as fast as possible is good and bad in that situation, while I won, I literally did a back flip when the string recoiled. That ish was cray. After that I was kind of wiped out, and feeling a little bit of a mess so we went to the photobooth. It took three separate trials with 6 pictures each totalling 18 ridiculously silly pictures. We were such a mess in there, people waiting outside were geeking out with the Alexa Vega "Sleepover" style antics we pulled. From there it was on to the bouncy castle where I was hopping in there like nobodies business. Toe-touching, roof hitting and knee bouncing, all go down before I'm worn out. We decide to get in the hour long line for Skinny Pancake aka crepes. Along the way I see my good buddy Nicholas and his enthusiastic self, preppy Alex with his hipster glasses, and some of my fraternity brothers Zachy, Dom-Dom and Baldwin. We're moving slowly in line and Christopher who's on UVMtv's comedy show "We Might Not Graduate" joins us to hang out. It's kind of crazy since I barely saw him all year except in passing, and we pretty much recap our entire year. It's a little depressing especially since I'm pretty sure we would have be good friends if we had actually hung out, epic fail. We get our powdered sugar on before escaping the steady rain. We grab rain jackets from my room and the clock strikes midnight. We walk to central campus where all hell is breaking loose literally. I'm talking naked people everywhere. Like declothed, derobed, and deliriously drunk college kids all over. All you see is bare pale and a few ton bodies. Yeah, genitals, private parts, and all that mess is just out and about. The naked bike ride had officially begun. It was a madhouse. I was literally just dumbfounded, shocked, and like mindblown. I had no words for all that nakedness, it was just a lot. The only people I've ever seen naked are babies and that doesn't really count and stupid unrated cuts from like American Pie. But live and in without living color (racial joke, whoopsies) people went round and round like there was no tomorrow. It was wild as hell, people just screaming their heads off with everything hanging out. That is definitely something I can never unsee, can you saw scarred for life. The worst part seeing people I actually knew, like wow - no comment. It was a total debacle, people were drunk of their asses (literally), falling about and slamming on the ground. Bloody scrapes and gashes everywhere, body paint dripping, and people just vomiting and moving on. Then there were the comments, out of control, inappropriate and totally uncalled for. Now that I've seen it, I know exactly why the university wants nothing to do with it. It's unsafe, and the fact that people have to get ish-faced to participate means there's something wrong. The smell of weed, cigarettes and alcohol hung in the air, and I didn't end up going to be until 3 am, you know chaos was going on all over campus. It was like freaking post-apocalyptic Hunger Games style craziness. Shock value, achieved.


The day after the last day of classes is one of those unique days. The campus is like dead, there's no one out in the morning and it's like an old western ghost town (like TNT's Falling Skies, minus the aliens). I get up and get dressed in formal wear for the student life awards. I check in and stop for red carpet picture before sitting with Derrick, Baldwin, and Phil. We have some appetizers and some tangy juice drink before the award ceremony gets going. It actually really fast and is probably one of the best I've ever been too. Interim President John Bramley (frick-shat the man is so British) speaks, and kicks things off. The award I thought I was nominated for, outstanding first year, I wasn't even up for, instead it was an informal leader award. I didn't win, but it was honor just to be nominated. Awards on awards are given out and they're like hardcore legit mason/marble block type thingamajigs. The award ceremony ends and I get some cake before dipping out. I head downstairs to get some New World Tortilla food and I run into current president Knight and our adviser, Learie. We get real deep and speak candidly about the haps for next year before I head back to my room. I change into pajamas and just play video games, listen to One Direction and the Wanted before taking a shower. It's time for me to fulfill some of my presidential duties and I attend a meeting with the Brennan's power people. It was so cool to have my input be taken seriously and to be included in the focus group was a privilege. I spend my afternoon watching 9O21O which got renewed for season 5 (thank goodness, it's my life) and writing my African Religions into the wee hours of the morning. I take out the trash at like 2 am and even clean out my drawers, it's almost packing time. Beddy bye time and my roommate, Krabby Patty, is nowhere to be found. Shock value, over and done with, it's been a crazy couple of days.  

Robert Hoffman - 90210 Season 4 Episode 22
Being a teenager is all about being wild, young and free. If you're going to actually live by the motto YOLO (you only live once) then you've got to do it right. It's about doing what you want but staying safe in the process. It's about living with no regrets and living life to the fullest. College is supposed to be time of your life and it's up to you to make the most of it. There's just so much shock value.

My blog post question for the day is ... would you ever participate in the naked bike ride? Uhm, I don't think so. Well if I could keep my plaid boxers on, I'd be fine with it. Being in my prepped out underwear would be okay for the most part and exhilarating as well.

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